I know this happens to me every time but I can’t stop it. I can’t remember ever being sick. I’m starting to think I made it all up. Please help me remember what it’s like. I always get here and then go off my meds. Please remind me why I take all this medicine because right now I feel perfectly normal. I know what’s making me feel that way is the medicine, I just can’t remember my sick brain, my voices, my depression. It’s bad right?
You felt awful just a week ago.
I forget about the bad times when I’m doing well, too.
Right I forgot! I feel great if I don’t have to leave the house. And I have a whole week before I have to leave it again. Of course I feel good. Thanks @ninjastar I’ll keep taking my meds.
I can’t remember being sick when I’m well, either. Someone just liked a post I made two years ago when I was doing poorly, and I was shocked by what I had said.
That’s not even the same person! I have no connection to that whatsoever. I guess that’s a blessing, but an odd, really odd feeling. I just have to fight the urge to stop my meds, then I can actually take some steps forward perhaps.
That’s exactly how I felt reading my old post, too! I mean I recognized the biographical details but not my thinking at all!
Do you live alone, @Leaf? Because if you don’t, you could have someone dispense your meds to help you make sure you take them. I am here in a home simply because I needed that kind of help.
My husband dispenses my meds. They are kept under lock and key as part of my safety plan. But I could always refuse them. I think he would make a huge stink about it and have me ultimately hospitalized if I didn’t comply. So I guess going off my meds isn’t actually even an option anyway. I didn’t really think it through actually. I guess I’m just worried about it for the sake of having something to worry about. It’s almost like I don’t want to let myself just feel good. Sigh.
I was just thinking that we get punished for having fun - probably to be just because there’s a lot of suffering in the world. Maybe that’s why they keep suggesting we give and help others.
I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I feel the same way sometimes. It does help to forget experiences you’ve had when hallucinating, it helps with you not developing lasting delusions. I guess my only advice is to remember that you need to stay on your meds, unless a doctor says it’s okay for you to wean yourself off them. It’s not impossible for stuff like hearing voices to stop on their own. But I only say that because I knew two people who suffered from psychosis from amphetamine use. They were okay once they had stayed clean for long enough and got permission for their doctors to stop taking their meds. Just make sure your doctor advises you that its okay.
My pdoc told me that I don’t remember my times of serious illness either.
@moderators do you remember when I was sick? I don’t I feel effing great! I feel like my old self! Like I don’t need meds!
I don’t mean to hijack your thread terra @Leaf but you’ve brought something up for me.
Oh @anon84763962, I hope this doesn’t upset you.
Nope doesn’t upset me, reminds me of how far I’ve come. The department of agriculture doesn’t upset me anymore.
Barnaby Joyce, the deputy PM is no longer in charge of the dept of agriculture, Machinery of govt changes see him in change fo infrastructure. But I’m not paranoid about him anymore.
The zeldox (geodon) is working.
Thanks for taking the time to remind me though.
I’m so glad to hear it. I was so worried for you then, and you have come so far.
I really appreciate you @Rhubot you take good care of me.
The facts are that you were sick. If you are thinking about being sick than you know you were sick. You can’t erase that fact.
You just did.
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