Do you want to live?

For me I think I just hold on for the sake of my children but I don’t really want to be here. I don’t know why I just feel so done. I’m so exhausted. I’ve been done for quite awhile now, Ever since I tried to kill myself the first time, but still I hold on. This is no way to live. Do you ever feel that way? Maybe things will change once my grandchild is born. Maybe this new therapist can help me if I get to a place where I feel I can open up to him.

1 Like

I don’t particularly want to live, but I doubt I’ll do anything about it. Or at least not anytime soon, I imagine one day maybe even decades from now I’ll probably die by suicide

4 Likes

I do want to live. There were times I didn’t though. Hang in there things will get better. Believe that.

5 Likes

I think if the world were to end i wouldn’t worry to much. Infact I might even be happy lol

3 Likes

I’ve wanted to “go home” since my teenage years. God told me that I can not kill myself, and I think of Him telling me that every time I get tempted…
While raising my son I still had ideation, but I couldn’t abandon him. Now that he’s an adult, I thought I might be able to go, but God still stays no.
And the longer I stay the better life has gotten. I hate this world, but within it I’m blessed with my son, and more and more I’m recognizing that my husband is such a blessing…and I love my job and want to be there for my students. I do have reasons to stay.
Besides, I’ll be 51 soon, so I’m really almost done here.
It’s ok to want to leave, as long as you stay, IMO. I hope you feel more content as time goes on. :heart:

7 Likes

Of course i do, only when i’m depressed i don’t want to live

3 Likes

For the most part, yes, mainly due to curiosity.

3 Likes

I would like to live forever but I would not despair if I had to die tomorrow.

4 Likes

I do want to live.I wouldn’t be fighting this hard with my illness and meds if I didn’t want to live.

8 Likes

I want to live, but I’m ok if it it has to end

3 Likes

I want to live,

But I’ve had some dark times where I didn’t see the point of going on.

Keep talking with your therapist and look forward,

You’re a great woman and you have a lot to offer the world,

Give yourself some credit.

4 Likes

I want to live.

5 Likes

I just want it to end. Tired of how I’m being treated, and how no one will get me help. What’s the point of trying to live when people won’t even give you the chance? I don’t think I’ll do it myself but sometimes I hope I’ll get into a car accident

3 Likes

I want to live. But sometimes I think seriously about hanging myself.

1 Like

I guess im indifferent.

I dont mind living … i dont mind dying…atleast thats what i think…but if o imagine the end i get a strange fear. Not mental fear but physical fear.

2 Likes

No, not really.

1 Like

I sometimes think of ending it, but I also feel that I’m not done with life yet. I don’t know what I am supposed to do, but I feel like there is something I must get done before I kick the bucket. Think about your grandchild, leaf. You want the child to have a grandmother, don’t you?

1 Like

Over the last 50 years of my 60 years of existing, I have only had a near life experience a couple of times.
Instead it has just been 50 years of watching others. So yes, I would like to live.

4 Likes

I know I will die someday, no one gets out of here alive, it’s just that I don’t really know when.
That’s what keeps me going, it’s just somedays I get rather impatient and want it “Today” instead of later.
Life is like a big empty bucket you fill with each experience, and continue to ‘gather’ everything you see, hear and do along the way.
Then as you get closer to that end, you continually pull everything out to examine it, and see what else you can fill the bucket with.
In the end, all you leave life with is the feeling that remains from examining your bucket.

2 Likes

Yes, I truly want to be in her life as long as I can but that doesn’t stop the waves of the feeling of wanting to leave this world. I guess I just feel overwhelmed by life. Or maybe I’m underwhelmed by life and that’s the problem. Maybe I thought it would be better, maybe I expect too much. Maybe I just need to be more tolerant of the bad and try to appreciate the blessings more. I wonder do other people have to talk themselves out of feeling suicidal all the time, I mean that’s not normal is it? I’m just so tired of the dialogue in my head. Maybe I need a different ap and more ad. It’s just at some point the meds only go so far and I have to do some of the work, but how? Where do I begin? I just started seeing a new therapist, maybe I’ll find some relief if I put some work into therapy. At least I’m trying, so that’s better than just giving up and giving into the urge.

Coming here to the forum has helped me tremendously because I get to let a lot of my feelings out because the things I say here I would never say out loud to anyone else. Since it’s anonymous I almost feel as if I’m talking to myself and I can be honest and frank without fear of worrying my loved ones. It helps so much to get it out. Even though I’m not thriving right now, I am actually doing a lot better than most years so I have to be thankful for that and give myself credit for the work I’m already doing to make myself healthier and happier. For me if there’s hope that’s a safety net against suicide.