And doesn’t really have his life in order? I plan on taking a trip to DOJ soon but all this stuff is hard when you don’t have a car. I want to try to meet someone like me in a support group or something. The reality is that the type of jobs I can do may not even be available. I fear I may not be encouraged by the answers. sigh
I was curious about this when I posted my dating ad that attracted Mrs. Pixel a couple of decades ago. I created a second account and put a second ad out there saying I was not working. Not a single reply. The ad that mentioned I was a full-time technician, over a thousand replies, (the majority from single moms).
I think that a job is something a person should have even if it is for just one hour a day and no matter how simple it is. Having a job shows that you want to work your brain and connect to the society. So yes i want my date to have a job. He could throw a cowduty one hour a day. It would be fine.
It depends , if he is well and well enough to work he needs to be working or at least looking
However if he is unwell or not well he needs to be someone who can look after himself and takes his recovery seriously. If he does I’d date him without a job.
I wouldn’t date him if he keep quitting meds cos that will make me ill too.
@IndustrialLad have you looked into a same sex relationship?
Perhaps you can date a male in a similar condition to yours.
Lol @Erez_Shmerling I don’t see that working for me but I don’t judge others who are of that persuasion.
I always go for the personality first (the appearance is not playing a very huge roll, but I wouldn’t mind if he’s good looking, hehe).
But I could never date someone who has a trash personality and good looks.
It’s just these last few weeks I’ve been well enough to work. Up to that point I had constant auditory hallucinations.
Thing is I’m having difficulty getting a ride to Department of Job and Family Services.
Now that my meds are actually doing something for me I wouldn’t think of not taking them.
I guess my life isn’t getting better fast enough for me.
I do like the comments.
But you take your health serious and make attempts to recover. You might not have a job but that’s ok wait until You feel ready.
I don’t know how old you were then, but at my age of 36(soon to be older uggh) it’s a given almost all the women available to me will have kids. It doesn’t really bother me. I’m fine being friendly with them(their kids) when I’m around them. But I don’t want to be a literal second dad to them and I don’t see myself being able to help support them financially even if I do get a part time job, which I will do if the jobs that I can do are available.
Thanks, @anon80629714. I feel pretty ready now, and I figure it’s weeks or months until any job suitable to me materializes.
I think that if you’re unemployed and you have poverty of speech they will avoid you like the plague.
Maybe some women are not so superficial, but my paranoia tells me otherwise.
The dating site I used circa 1998 was classifieds2000.com (now defunct). It was free and there was no matching of personality types, ages, preferences, etc. You could just browse.
My first ad said, 29, full-time technician, debt-free, looking for cheesy romance, etc. At least 1000 replies. I was running my own little mail server back in the day on an ISDN line and the traffic flatlined the poor little bugger.
So many of the replies were from single moms that I thought I’d try for an ad that said NO single moms. (Keep in mind that I had only been stable for a few years at that point and was scared sh–less at the thought of being a parent, even a step-parent.) Got close to another 1000 replies, but this time it dropped from about 99% replies from single moms down to about 95%. The majority didn’t give a crap, they wanted a guy helping pay for their kids (and I don’t blame them, we know this is biologically hard-wired).
For the hell of it I placed an ad on several dating sites that was identical to the current ad, except that it said I was unemployed and on disability – where I’d been five years before. Not. A. Single. Bloody. Reply.
So, yeah, ladies want employed guys, especially if they have kids. It also doesn’t matter whether you say you want kids or not, you’ll get chased by single moms if you look like a good prospect.
Finally, the number of ladies using fake profile photos was staggering. I understand that people can gain some weight after a photo is taking, but the bloody bone structure of your face wouldn’t change like that. Lots of bait and switch from average people using above average photos.
(For the record, there’s only ever been one Mrs. Pixel, and she probably wouldn’t have ever been a supermodel to anyone but me – there was never a need to try and rook me with fake photos. That really turned me off of a lot of women.)
If I was well and had a better-paying job I think it would depend on the person and how motivated he was generally in life. If I had the means to support myself better and could even help a partner in some way then I would.
But I’m not well and my job doesn’t pay much. I wouldn’t consider dating someone who doesn’t work because my own situation feels precarious and I’m the one who needs a net under me. But that’s just me specifically in my situation.
At the time I met my husband, on a dating site, I also met men who made a lot more money. I fell for my husband because of who he is, not because of any money.
I wouldn’t date any guy. Work, no work, Rich, poor, none. Girls neither.
You could pick someone up on public transit. Especially the bus. I was surprised there are decent looking women. I am to afraid of women though.
We don’t have the full size busses here. But yeah I still might.
I do have issues starting conversations with people I don’t know.
I would. I’ve been in the situation where I’m working and my boyfriend isn’t. It’s tough, especially because I’m scared I’ll have another episode and not be able to work, and then we’d really sink.
I don’t doubt that many woman are materialistic in this way, especially single mothers. They really have no choice. I have no children though, and when I met my boyfriend, he wasn’t in a good financial situation.
Good luck to you.
If my partner isn’t going to work he’d at least have to be in charge of all the housework, cooking/cleaning/laundry/etc. So he doesn’t necessarily have to have a traditional job but he better have a job because I want a partner, not someone I have to take care of. Taking care of myself is hard enough.