I’m not talking about sex, I’m talking about just relationships.
I’m getting to the point where I think maybe I would. I want to stop thinking about being in a relationship and feeling so out of place for being single.
I don’t see a way to meet women that are like me and I it seems that working women that are in relationships with long term unemployed men don’t respect them. Not that I could get in a relationship with them anyway.
I don’t think even if I could do 10-15 hours of work a week in the future that would help too very much.
So if I could have someone do psychic surgery or something to make me not care about that stuff, I think that would be good.
I’m not interested in relationships right now. I just don’t have that “chip” where I could be interested in another person’s emotions enough to spend time and money on them. And I tend to find the influence of certain women toxic or unhealthy on me, where I try and alter myself to fit the other person’s expectations. If I could find someone who didn’t make me feel like I had to hide my mental illness, weaknesses and personal failings, maybe I would be anxious to be in a relationship.
It’ll probably not happen for me, but at the same time I don’t want to do away with the desire to get a partner. I just don’t think I can trust anyone well enough to have a relationship. So maybe that’d be for the best.
Imo love cannot exist in the absence of financial investment. In other words, women will not consider you to be dating if you are not “funding” the relationship. This is a common attitude unfortunately. Men also have their demands and hoops the woman has to jump through most of the time.
So “love” is really conditional. If certain components are missing you can fail miserably at this. For that reason I do not consider it good for my mental health to obsess over dating and relationships.
I have enough to deal with as it is with my own brain disorder. Once I am comfortable and free of the shackles of mental illness perhaps I will have a change of heart.
I’ve read stories of monks who made themselves eunuchs and later regretted it. What a great loss it would be to lose a prime source of inspiration and will. For me, asking a quantum metaphysician to carve up my brain is ALMOST unthinkable.
I think it more comes down to meeting someone that can understand and relate to what you go through in some form. That usually involves them having there own set of issues.
But in that you can find strength together.
I have very little desire for a relationship outside of sex. When I was married it was hell. Plus my daughters tell me they don’t want me to have a gf.
I am shocking at dating. Im either terrified or confident and they dont like me.
I know i shouldnt be tryibg to date in my condition but i get so bored and its enjoyable.
Yet to find a serious genuine person, not freak out or actually find a date.
Im sure id be more settled emotionally single but still a gimmer of hope that i find someone that exsentuates my positives not the negatives.
I think im delusional although my mom says im not and its ok to chat and learn but really. I think my social status is so low no one decent will look at me.