I get this feeling sometimes, i duno what it is but its horrible. i start getting extremely restless and i cant sit stil and i get an overwhelming feeling like i gota get outa here. and it doesnt matter where i am or where i go it goes with me. i end up just drivin around in circles tryin to run from my mind. it feels almost like im runnin outa air and i cant breath…but i can breath lol. it may last a few minutes or a few days, i hate it
My worst memories of the psychiatric system was being put on haldol - during four hospitalizations. After discharge I ended up in emergency where the medication was changed. The pain was progressive and unbearable.
The worst feeling I ever felt is the memories of my own sins. Not during psychosis, but things I did before I had my first breakdown. The weren’t terrible things, but I still shudder with embarrassment and grief. For example, I had pets as a child that I didn’t take care of and they died - turtles and a tortoise.
the feeling I destroyed the world and I was being punished in hell for it
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When I was child I think.
Overwhelming apathy,hopelessness,retardation,heaviness ,loneliness etc
Then voices n psychosis is/was pretty horrid too with loneliness,fear,strange beliefs,paranoia etc etc
Last night I felt loneliness again cause I feel paranoid about everyone in some way and that im right about it and it’s not delusional or my imagination what I believe.
How would one destroy the world?
I had a hallucination that I destroyed the world too, it was terrifying.
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sounds like a very bad dream, if I ever had one 
how did it feel exactly? 
it’s okay if it’s too much for you to explain. I don’t want to open old wounds. 
Hopeless, that’s a long story. It’s in the first chapter of the book I started to write. It was my worst psychotic episode. It took me a while to figure out I was hallucinating. The brain can do some impressive things. It was just like a dream.
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The feeling of a failing marriage…watching it burn to the ground…being left at home with our kid for 2 years then one day she shows up and takes him away and hides…the feeling of being homeless not knowing where my oldest one was…the feeling of hate being served papers despite it was just me and him for most of his life…all around ■■■■■■ and cheated on multiple levels…nothing like a knife to the back being twisted by the devil while they cackle at your pain and hurt…
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I guess my worst feeling is the ongoing sense of entrapment and uselessness brought on by unemployment and being broke. I cannot teach any more. My only comfort is knowing I can still travel with money from my disability payments. But since I’ve started having auditory hallucinations from drinking caffeine and alcohol I cannot socialise with my European friends and colleagues. None of my friends know about my disability and I’m afraid that if I tell them I will not have any friends left, regardless of where they live or what they do. No normal person can truly understand what it’s like to be Schizophrenic.
Also I guess the thoughts of suicide. Why suffer through this if there’s no cure? I’ve tried 5 times to die over the past 8 years - slashing my wrists, overdoses, poison.
My worst delusion was also my first. I thought I was being shot in the head by lasers. I also has some pretty bad paranoia too.
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words can’t explain the feeling, simply the worst feeling that ever excisted
it felt like the whole universe was against me and I was in hell
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losing a loved one or seperation with a loved one… losing friends from being psychotic.
the emotional burdens were so persisting it bent my back physically, the posture became deformed for 10 years
The way I felt at the height of my first psychotic break. Not only was I completely out of mind with delusions, hallucinating, I was also severely manic (had been awake and racing 24 hrs/day for 5 days) and terrified, believing that a classmate was hunting me down and was sitting in his car with a gun in his lap, in the parking lot across the street. The police took me to a hospital when I called 911 about the classmate I thought was stalking me and planning on killing me. I think psychosis is perhaps the worst experience a person can live through.
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on a bad day tears still come to my eyes tears of sadness from them buried emotions of sorrow that will I feel will always be there
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The feeling that I’m in one big joke on me, and knowing the outcome, yet not able to do a thing about it, and those that could help me- they won’t believe it, and tell me that I do have a choice-to simply not play the game.
yeah, not correct…just naive.
Shame must be the worst. It triggers negative voices.
When it hits me that I have an incurable mental illness that makes me behave differently from the rest of society. There is nothing I can do to make it go away and I know how screwed up I am. I am literally trapped
one morning, I was walking to the train station. It was early morning, around 5ish, so it was dark. and as I was walking to the station, I stopped at like every stoplight, because It’s embarrassing to get honked at by cars when trying to jay walk.
but anyways, I was waiting for the light to change and I saw a red dot on the ground. so I started playing with it. it started to move around too. then I realized that what I was playing with could’ve been a red dot from a laser. so I got very scared and I ran as fast as I could.
I still don’t know what that whole morning was all about… 
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