Its more than that shellys. I am not constipated, my depression is other thing. But i find the worse in my illness my anxiety from everything…
People, do you believe in me still? Can i get stabilized after my many years of isolation? The fact that the prognosis is bad after so much time is worrying. Its the reality at the end 
. I am ■■■■■■ up!
Part of the reason you feel tired is that you have been sedentary so long. But that’s OK, you can begin to move and you will improve.
I guess I am even far from the human already… I had my bad energy since I am a teenager, it was tiring me too. Its not only my sedentarity, its something else, you know…
I cant move because of the anxiety. I am tired to fight. I am in hell because of it. I am so afraid outside that I am close to scream. I have very incomfortable sensations due to the anxiety. I guess those kind of sensations are not the sz, but anxiety no?
Twinkle, thanks for writing 
Yes, anxiety can be really paralyzing.
And there other things that can make you chronically tired.
So that may not go away, but it can still improve.
But is this energy who goes to my feet like a wave and because of it, I am close to fainting with a fear to go totally mad, an anxiety or it looks like sz? Nice… I have bunch of things now. depression, anxiety, negatives etc… its where I am after being untreated for so many time and cause I gave up long ago. Now I want to get better and I need to know that its possible even after so much time being ill.
Sorry twinkle that I am annoying, I am just alone this evening like every evening since years.
pls see if you can understand my waves of bad energy… they are hellish. I hate them!
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I understand.
Yes, it can get better.
Get some rest and start anew in the morning. If you do something, for the rest of the day you can be proud of your accomplishment. Don’t let anyone tell you you shouldn’t. You can share it with us here because we won’t be negative about it.
You are kind twinkle
But how this bad energy will get better? I started to have it even as kid, when I was around people and had a life evn though I was suffering in silence. That’s why I am a strong adept for some trt for me cause I started have symptoms even when I was active etc etc… I don’t see how it will go with efforts, I am not sure its possible, you know…
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true, probably you won’t recover but that doesn’t mean that you can’t make some improvements.
what do you mean by I wont recover? I cant imagine a life like this… being dumb as a ■■■■, anxious cause I am dumb and crazy etc etc… Its unfair!!! Lots of people here have lives. they even have families, why not me? I don’t talk to have a life without meds, but some stabilization and some life, why not? I don’t want to feel every ■■■■■■■ second all kind of symptoms!
all my schizophrenic friends have lives now after their meds! Why me is always at the bottom?
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I simply mean that you’ll probably continue to have these symptoms.
Other people have lives and families simply because their illness is milder.
The road to recovery and stabilization is always the same: meds, therapy and personal efforts. If you already did your best during these 20 years of isolation I don’t see how could you magically recover now.
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oh, wow… you put me in the severe cases? you are hard… You know, I guess its just up to the luck sometimes. My ill friends were very ill before their meds. I even consider them worse on some things than me. Me, I am not even delusional in irl, I am so afraid to talk…
But ok, you are a tough one… you don’t give me hope, I am disgusted by me and by everything now… No, I gave up 20 years ago. But its been 20 years that I remained isolated, with an inactive brain, yes… But you could be a bit more delicate. You cant say to somebody that he wont recover. you are better than me or what?
No I think you are mid functioning like most schizophrenics.
Yes luck is very important, your friends were luckier than you because their symptoms responded better to the meds.
Well, if you said that you didn’t fight during these 20 years there is still hope.
Sorry but I don’t see how could this be offensive, I also think that I will probably never recover and I’m not sad.
yes, I didn’t really fight for the last 17 years… For 6 of them, I smoked weed heavily in isolation, this made the things really worse for me. I realize that the hope can be a dream too sometimes, I know that. But maybe you go out, you see friends, you talk, you think? you’ve accepted that youll never have a family of your own? for me, this is tough. Cause you know, if my mom dies, I wont have anybody to whom to talk. it will be hell! Ill be like an animal trapped in my own prison.
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I see ill friends like you do, I have never cared much about having a family.
I don’t know if in your countries there are houses where people with psychiatric problems can live together, if yes you may move there eventually…
Personally, like many szs, I have the luck of being ‘autarkic’ (my head is enough to keep me entertained, I can walk back and forth for hours lost in my thoughts).
No, there is no such houses like this. There are some but there is pure hell. My mom says that there, they will kill me faster you know…
Oh, then I am quite different than the most of the szs like you say. Me, I am quite limited in my thoughts… I cant think well, this is one of my problems… I bug in my head, I have also some kind of obsessive thinking… Yes, I am very limited in my head. I am so limited that I have headaches because of my negative thinking… I am not sure all the szs are like you say, maybe I don’t know some things still about sz…
I am so limited that I cant talk. I just don’t have ideas often…
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Thanks for teaching me a new word - @zeno.
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wow… Me, I know what does this mean 
zeno doesn’t say from where is he. Where are you from zeno?
I’m Italian.
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ok, thank you that you are open here Me, I am from Bulgaria. But my mom is Russian
You know, one of the very good docs here was swearing to my mom that I am not schizophrenic. Cause exactly, in my head its not happy. I am dumb for a lot of things. But idk. Now my new doc speaks about schizoaffective… He also said that ill never be happy if I remain isolated and asocial. Me I dream to be social but I want to be in good mood, to feel…
My sister studied in Aquila in fact
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Yes I remember that you are Bulgarian, it unluck to be ill and live in an ex eastern block country…