I am afraid that i wont recover after so much time being ill

Its tough, but how the other sz do it then? But training their minds or the opposite- relaxing? lol, I am completely dumb…

Try this, I found it on the interwebs. This is good if you have a messy place:

  • Get something you can write notes on, like the phone/computer you are accessing this site from.
  • Look around the room you are in and try and think of five things you can fix up/clean up/tidy. However, they have to be things you would be willing to do voluntarily, and it doesn’t matter how small or trivial they are.
  • Tomorrow, do the five things, or as much as you can. When you’ve finished, write another five things down and do them the next day.

It may sound silly but it worked well for me. My confidence has gone up and after a few weeks my place is quite clean.

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If it’s any consolation I’m a non-lifer too :stuck_out_tongue:

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Yeah, but maybe not from 18 years isn’t it? :confused: I had enough of this in fact. Plus my childhood was terrible too. I never knew the peace of mind or the happiness that’s all. and I am really really afraid that my life will be the same in the future. I had my suffering and sometimes I hate myself for all that I feel cause what I feel is often bad and painful. I need rest sometimes. whatever. Ill continue fighting cause I want to live. But my body will turn into something monstrous because of the inactivity…

Try taking just one deep brew through the nose, hold it for four seconds then let it out slowly
You might not think this will help but the more you practice it might make you feel calmer
Take a break from your negative thoughts
Try to switch off for five minutes
It’s just a suggestion

I too feel like I’ve been sick so long it’s ingrained in me.

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I’ve not had much of a life for a long time… I know this illness is really tough, I get sick of it too. It’s a harsh life all the time with very little respite, I have painful intrusive thoughts all the time. I was thinking earlier that it’s a little like the drip drip drip of Chinese water torture. It’s tough to bear when it’s relentless :confused:

Have you thought about trying a higher dose of lithium? I’ve seen people say that the therapeutic dose is a high one.

Try being kind to yourself if you want my advice, don’t hate yourself for the bad feelings, it just makes everything worse.

Best wishes.

Tbh I find my complaints about my non life sometimes vain… I had friends who killed themselves at the end, you know… They should have had it hard too I guess… My pursuit of happiness is vain, yes. But what I cant tolerate sometimes is the pain. I sit here for hours, but after hours and hours of pain, I become hysterical…
Frings, I was on a higher dose of lithium but It made me anxious and agitated, really. I am afraid now… Maybe at the end, I have negatives and not djust simple depression. Plus, the loneliness makes its damages.
how are you those days? what are you doing? :slight_smile: lol, I live thourgh the life of my mom. its some life too :slight_smile: I am happy when she gets a rest from me, she went out now. She still tries very often to push me to get out, but it doesn’t work lol.

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Ok, have a nice time in the shop :slight_smile: . I was drinking before to have my diagnosis but even this wasn’t a relief. I want to feel the reality without substances you know. Plus, after the alcohol, ill be alone again no? But it could be a relief for some, yes…

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It sounds to me like you are spending a lot of time and energy comparing yourself to others. Even before psychosis I was a bit of a “neutral” on pretty much every topic. I would listen and take on board what people said but I myself didn’t have a heap of opinions. As @Qwerty1 says, it’s good to inform yourself. But maybe you are just the sort of person who can see things from both sides? Does it matter not having an opinion? You could be one of those people who make for a great mediator, able to balance opinions. Or perhaps you are just non-confrontational or shy which is ok too.

Try not to be too hard on yourself. You are a gorgeous individual. I’m sure there are other things about you that are awesome. Believe in yourself!

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Anna, you are stuck on the idea that you have remained isolated and ill for 20 years. It is a vicious cycle because your thoughts tell you can never recover, and so you remain inactive and stay inside your house. Like others have said, the mind can be slowly trained back. I don’t know what you read, but try reading something intellectually challenging. Maybe try enrolling in an online class at coursera.com first and see if you can handle the work. Find an area you are interested in and study it. I don’t know your intelligence level before schizophrenia but you got to accept who you are as a person. Not everyone is going to have 180 IQ or be a billionaire. If you can only work as an administrative assistant, so be it doing filing and planning calendars, so be it. My advice is to take an online course, then move to take a college class and apply to jobs afterwards. Even if you fail, you now have to skill sets to go volunteer. That way you can meet other people and get a new perspective on things.

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Thank you for posting, guys! Ok, ill try not to even think on the lost years, its the best no?
But I was just freaked out at how bad I was socially already when I saw my friend. I had this blanks in my mind which are painful cause accompanied with anxiety. I was even suffocating instead of could talking…I just ask myself if its the illness or the isolation. I suffocate guys, for god sake… How to socialize when its already a pain for me? I wont do this to me, I prefer staying at home. Maybe ill have better days, idk. That’s what I pray for at least. But I cant stand anymore to suffocate around people, its too much, do you understand this?
but when I see the other mi people when I go to my doc, its scary… Some of them have it quite bad too, its so sad…
Ok, so at least, I should try to ignore my thoguths on the past, is that right? I can do that ok :slight_smile:

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Well you could always talk to your doc to make sure what meds are best. However, if you’ve been isolated for a long time it will take time and effort to get back in the swing of things. You did have the advantage of living with someone and talking with your mom and friends occasionally. I don’t think you sound dumb in the least bit and you can speak more than one language. Sounds more to me like it’s anxiety, regret, and insecurity due to being isolated. It would make sense it won’t be comfortable at first because it’s a new way of being if you get out a bit. I agree with others saying make it small outings and maybe realize it will be uncomfortable at first but that’s ok cause you’re working on establishing some new habits. I thought the idea of an online class sounded good, because i think it will show you that you are not dumb at all. As far as opinions you could watch youtube videos on subjects and read other’s comments and opinions to start to get a grasp on who you agree with more. Then maybe make your own comments with some of your new opinions. It’s good you had a friend over, it doesn’t matter if you were quiet and had no opinions, that’s how it was for you that day, that time, the main thing is you’re trying. Be gentle with yourself it doesn’t all come back fast, it’s a slow, little by little process that at first is very uncomfortable but will change with time and practice you’ll build confidence and have more opinions, and more ease with time and effort.

Ok, finally :wink: I guess my recovery will take years if its possible already. But how much in your opinion? I would like to give myself maximum 3 years from now, wow :slight_smile: Do I ask too much?
Yeah, I spent too much time in isolation. None of my ill friends didn’t have it so bad cause they didn’t have this… They even cant understand me… What can I say? that my ■■■■■■■ father didn’t see a sign of suffering? my mother even called me a schizo cause I told her today that I had suicidal thoughts since kid, yeah… She said that I became an elephant and I don’t fight. My friends at least know that I fight. I knew the hell, really, I don’t exaggerate. You should have see me in irl. I thought I can die from my symptoms…
But I cant go over 3 years, ill be too old after that. Maybe ill want kids too.
Theres no best meds for me anymore, I tried all the aps.
Otherwise, I read my facebook, it helps to stay connected, yes :slight_smile: .
Finally, my mom is not actually living with me. She is in the same building but we are in different appartments. I guess fortunately, cause I need my space a loot. plus, she talks too much, its tiring. Even my doc told her that she talks too much :smiley:

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Ok people, so I have so many symptoms now and I mainly spend my time at home. Is it tougher to recover in this condition? But I really cant go out often. I feel either to weak, either too paranoid etc etc… Did somebody here was like this? and with the help of the meds he started to go out bit by bit and this helped him at the end? I mean is it possible to feel better while on meds even when staying at home till feeling something more stable in his condition?
yeap, I am afraid of my years of isolation, really :frowning: .

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isolation makes things worse. try to socialise. I am lonely and talk only to my voices. it’s miserable.

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Ok Om but it will be hard. I wont be able to socialize soon :confused:
But somebody who was really bad for long time and he started to feel better even while staying at home?
I am tired of efforts, that’s why I keep asking this… My illness is very painful in fact.

Dear Anna, I don’t have much of a life either. But I will fight those damned symptoms until I get better. You have us here .hugs. rox

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Thank you darling. Its just that i am more grounded to the reality now. I was a bit manic before. Now i just realize how bad is my situation and i get tired of suffering so much. I need to make efforts too to get out of this illness, but its tiring… lets continue helping each other ok :smiley:. I still need hope to know that there is an exit from this illness, some stabilization at least…

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Do you have a healthy diet plenty fruit and veg
Do u take fish oils and vitamin d supplement
If you are constipated this can make you depressed