I just saw ‘‘brain on fire’’. the girl was thought psychotic but it was another illness.
Ok, I am schizophrenic, I think if meds are helping me even a bit it means just this… But I start to be really pissed off by my tiredness, by my feeling of my brain in my head…
I cant think well people. I just have these really dumb thoughts in my mind. Is schizophrenia so serious? Cause I cant feel that I am on the way to recover. plus, to be ill since kid is a bad prognosis… I want to live people… and not between 4 walls anymore… But understand me please - I am just tired to fight… I am scared from some sounds for gosh sake… I am really bothered by sounds, its like my brain cant get all this information…
Idk how it is for you but I find the most schizophrenics too alone through their illness. Are you alone like me? I just have one left friend, who is ill too and who is nice to me, and my mother. my phone doesn’t ring anymore with months… I live like an animal, not like a human and the worst of this is that I sometimes prefer this cause I cant handle the stress with the people etc etc.
I dont want to believe in the 30 % of recovered people, ■■■■ statistics!!!
Tbh, maybe I make a mistake but I count on time. am I wrong to do it? Cause always those efforts, efforts, its tiring. nobody isn’t fighting like this, its maad…
You’ve only been on 10mg for how long? A week or two? It can take months to see an improvement so hang in there @Anna1 !
its been a month. yeah… but I think I am a hard case. I have waves of feelings in the day. I sometimes need to just lay in my bed cause its sooo heavy… its inhuman. and its not my fault that I didn’t ask for help sooner, its linked to my familys history… Abusive father etc etc… what if meds never work, ever? I guess I dont feel fine cause I am ill since too long? maybe it plays in the game isn’t it? I know people for who the meds worked after 2 months ever…
I’m going to bring up again that it may do you a world of good to look into some sort of trauma therapy, because from a lot of your posts you sound very traumatized…did you know ptsd can create psychosis? I don’t know if you’ve already talked through trauma with a therapist before but if you haven’t I really think it could help.
I know it’s frustrating meds take forever to work. That’s where I’m at right now too. I haven’t been on the right dose for long enough to see any good effects and since I’m so sensitive to meds we have to move me up doses very slowly so it takes like 10x as long. Hang in there though.
Funny thing about the human body, it can adapt to anything, unless the mind prevents it.
The longer you have been doing something, the more resistant to change you get.
You can stay inside your cozy cocoon of sameness until the day you die.the only motivation is pain. Discomfort can make you change, but only when it’s more painful to stay the same than it is to change.
Like I said, the body is amazing, it can get used to anything.
You wonder how could I live in so much discomfort?
The mind is even more amazing, really it is.
You can convince yourself that your in pain, but your mind can take your pain from you because it wants to survive, and it can’t unless the body that supports it, is alive to support it.
Kinda like a complex parasite feeding off it’s host, it will do anything to sustain itself, even if you won’t, it will.
Oh, I look very traumatized? More than others? lol, it sucks… idk, my 2 pdocs said that I wont respond good to therapy. I even dont talk much. but its not only because of this. I dont have the motivation. it depresses me to hear that i am very traumatized. i am no good right now, that’s for sure…
I think i totally developped some complex cause i became too attached to my mother. since the meds, i am better on this but all my crazy stuff comes from delusions with my mother… she was the ‘’‘good’’ in my history cause beatened by my father…
You talk about abusive parents and how you’ve been trapped in your house and have experienced a lot of very bad things. I think it would help you to be able to talk those things over with a professional. Sometimes just trying to medicate things away isn’t enough.
its because of myself that i was trapped in my house. i was experiencing bad things and i gave up going out. i am not sure that ill go to a therapy. I know people who got better without it… I am tired of talking about the bad things in my life. in fact, i need to see the positive, not to always chew the bad things i find…
I would like to hear from some of us that you see a slight improvement in my writing here regardless to the past…
anna, my mother doesn’t believe in therapy for me either. but whatever, i dont listen to her for this.
Idk, i wish i would get throught this just with efforts and meds. i saw a therapist for 4 months in the past, i was feeling as ■■■■ after him every time…
Well you have to see the right therapist first of all…and secondly I think therapy is important not just for learning coping mechanisms (try CBT or DBT they have research backing them saying they really do help people) but also to be able to say anything in a safe and non judgemental environment. There are things all of us don’t want to talk about with our parents or even our friends. Sometimes those things are so awful they eat away at us inside. That’s what therapy is good for too.
A person with a physical debilitating injury does not only take pain meds, they also attend physical therapy to learn how to live with their disability and even help make it less disabling. Otherwise they simply remain crippled.
I know a girl who got better despite all the therapists here, you understand anna? just with the help of meds and her efforts. why i cant be like this? i should stop complaining but i live in a ■■■■■■ country where therapy is just damn ■■■■… and i still believe that the love can help me more than everything else. love in the both directions - mine and the one from the others…
I am rude now anna but i dont have the support for therapy from my family. my mother is just sooo sure for everything :/… Does our parents made us crazy? lol, i guess no
Anna1, your posts are very relatable to me and I wish you hadn’t had to go through all those terrible things. I’ve been there too and am still severely traumatized but I believe that it gets better for us.
I’ve just been following your posts from a long time and it seems medication is not enough for you. You are trapped in your house with no social interaction other than your mom. If anything else therapy would at least get you out of the house.
Research has shown that in order for someone to have the best chance of recovery/improvement one needs meds combined with therapy. (Really look into CBT at least!) Meds are very helpful, but you can’t medicate away the past or how it affects you. Personally I really wish this was possible and the instant they make a medication that does that I want to be on it, lol.
I just want to see you get better, and I’ve not really seen many posts from you indicating you’re better 
To me that says something needs to change
But i feel a bit better, isnt this good? do i have the right to say ■■■■ the therapy sometimes? They always end to say to you -’’ go out’’ etc etc… and i dont need this, i dont want to do anything right now. i know what i should do but i am just too sad. sorry, anna, therapy is not always magical either you see… for the moment, i dont believe in it… even sarad here said its just crap…i want to hear from some of us that you got better with the help of meds etc etc… i want to be hard right now - ■■■■ therapy!!! I was the victim of the others and the system, i wont let this happen anymore…
whatever… those who feel better will always have the magic solutions… while the others will just be saad. i dont want a therapist, i need to get out of this sadness…
If you don’t make any changes in your life then you can’t expect any changes to happen. Right now you are passively sitting back hoping meds will fix all your problems and life will magically be good. You have to put in effort to be making lifestyle changes as well.
the change should be always therapy? since years i listen too much the others. i am too sensible on this. maybe i should stop doing it also :/…
I think if you want a change you should be open minded, maybe a change in medication could help, maybe something more activating like Vraylar for feel the difference, I don’t know, but when you feel the difference would be a good thing to have a psycologist for ask any question/doubt/insecurities that can be in the way, or to give to you social advice, an schedule, etc etc
I should do the same!
Good luck !
Not just therapy but anything. Like you say you aren’t willing to go outside for example. Having structure and activity is really important for keeping the mind sharp. Make yourself a schedule, look into getting hobbies. You can change a lot of things, diet, exercise. Theres so many other things you can try, and if you’re not willing to do any of it then that’s to your detriment.
A life where you do nothing but sit in your room all day is like a direct line to depression.
I am sorry @Anna1 .I am in Israel unfortunately, I am very unhappy about my location as well.
I don’t think there is a big difference in “therapy” between countries.
I believe there are good and bad “therapists” in Bulgaria as well as in other countries.
Have you tried moving abroad?
I know that in other countries people would tell me to try medications, in Israel nobody did this.
You are on medications so I don’t see a reason for you to complain about Bulgaria.
Regards,
Erez.