3 Positives #3

  1. Got my marijuana plants cropped and hanging to dry. Yes it is legal here
  2. Talked to a new friend on the phone for the first time. I think it went very well
  3. I think 1 and 2 are enough LOL. I’m happy
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Have a new kitty
Got offered a job
Having times with family

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  • Attended College and set up Mics for drumkit and observed setting levels and channelling the inputs on ableton,
  • finished and recorded the bones of a podcast about the beatles album seargent peppers lonely hearts club band with my group @77nick77 you might have liked doing this, i clashed with the young boy i was working with last week and he wanted revenge but we ended up sorting it out.
  • Got a BK on the way home bbq chicken/bacon burger and chilli cheese bits (tasted phenomenal) collapsed on the bed and lay for 1.5hrs then went out for a drink with 2 pals but the drink tasted weird
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woke up and apparently i am alive, even if this is a simulation.

suffered throughout the day immensely with the rest of the dysfunctional family. life is suffering and that’s how you evolve as a human being.

nobody else died in the family. mission for the day accomplished.

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That’s it in a nutshell. Sorry to hear you’re having a rough time bud

Got my Spyderco t-shirt today and have a little cheap Schrade knife coming tomorrow.
Waiting to start a new clinical trial.
Going grocery shopping with my sister Tuesday.

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  1. I’ve still got a roof over my head
  2. I still have my friends
  3. I still have my mind, or what’s left of it LOL
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I aced my second anatomy lecture test
Cleaning my room
Grateful I have somewhere to live. Grateful for my family.

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i believe i will be ok even if i get kicked out and become homeless.
i have some people in “power” that are out to ruin my life and destroy me.
they want to make me homeless and broke and they want me to be a pr ostitute too.

ever since nsw got a new premier i have been hated on and feeling attacked and that him and my sister and others are out to get me because they dont think i deserve to be well.
since i got on the pension and met my x i became so much better and stable and they dont like that.
they dont want me to be doing well.

they are trying to take away my inner peace.

my second favourite person in the world betrayed me and set me up to go visit her step dad and her daughter and blaaa.
since she is with them she may not be my second favourite any more.
maybe my boyfriend can be my second favourite person.my x in sa is number one.

i do not need nor want nor accept a leader for me.
specially one i dont agree with.
i am entitled to be who i am and have my own beliefs and so forth.
specially not “leaders” who are jealoud of me and agressive and hateful.ha ha ha thats not a real leader.
anyway i dont want nor need one.

i step away from roll of auntie.
i never want to see nephew again.
he reminds me of the stuck up chris hemsworth.

his other auntie was paid to babysit .
i wasnt and i wasnt even thanked.
they respect her.they dont respect me.they love her .they dont love me.they pretend.they disrespect me.they supress me and try to dominate me and think they are superior to me.

i pray to never meet them ever again.

every single time i met these people i gave them my love and every single time they met me they gave me their disrespect and tried dominating me and putting me down etc.

i do not want people like that in my life.

they dont deserve me and i know i deserve to be treated better than that.

I DESERVE TO BE TREATED BETTER THAN THAT!

Because i dont want to meet them again i could become homeless and if i lived with my boyfriend i would be poor and if we broke up i would be homeless.
i lived in my car for 3 weeks once and showered in public toilets in cold showers.
if i become homeless i will be ok.
i might find a shelter and put myself on waiting list for community housing although the waiting list is 10 years.

havnt got the cash right now to move back to sa and theres no renatls availavle there really and i couldnt inspect a place because im in another state.

if i became poor i would put my dog and sacred neigh down before i gave them to anyone else that might abuse them or make dog meat out of them.

i will not celebrate xmas with “family”.
i will not give them xmas presents next year.

i got my former stepmums eldest son and his family a bag that says love over hate.
they are pretty stuck up.never experienced much .think they are so superior.thig group of people had easy life.

i had it overwhelming hard but now i got it easy.

these powercrazed haters without grace have made me avoid gym and people and etc.

maybe my landlady will let me live here unconditionally.
if not.
i beleive i will cope.

i can feel that she seems hateful to me more now and how her family and her are all better than me and supressive like rest of her family.
she used to empower me and encourage me and love me but since dominique became premier that changed.

i should get a restraining order against these malicious fake people.

they have soooooo many friends and weddings and parties to go to but they are such fake people.

i have one friend only i think but he is REAL.
genuine.quality.

i feel over my “parents” too.
i need my personal space from them.
they could never love me.
had more hate.
but thankfully i got to experience what it feels like to be loved anders, my x in sa and dogs and sacred neigh and boyfriend.
i said i will love them unconditionally but that doesnt mean its ok to be bad to me.
if i meet the one acted father it will be a quick visit maybe half a hour max.

i could feel the hater the other week so intense and im grateful i kept my sanity through it all.

im grateful my boyfriend is real and loving and he has been homeless and lived in a tree and is down to earth and humble and has life experience.
his a good man.

another positive is that i walked my brothers dogs.

another positive is that i have coffee at home and soymilk to put with it.
and i have a place to live right now.

as said they want to make me homeless and poor.
that is their mission and goal because they hate me and are jealous of me and want to destroy me.

they also want to ruin the relationship i have with my former stepmum because she is a big support and help and if they take that away it will be easier to crush me.

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  1. Did my excercises
  2. Went for a walk, longer than usual. Felt great
  3. Picked up a few things at the grocery store. Thankfully, it was mostly empty.
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That’s a lot of text, i couldnt read it :frowning:

Yesterday (its 12.51am atm)

  • I went to college and did pre assessment followed by the actual assessment for ableton (i was very pleased with it & it was easier than i thought it would be :slight_smile: ) and i had a bit of time to practice more, after Lunch i did some revision for another assessment for Wednesday from home then we set up a PA system (good fun)
    (i feel like a proper student now)

  • I had a BK on the way home :slight_smile: yummy then went out for a beer with 2 friends later after a lie down.

  • I’ve also been working on my Friday Radio show script tonight and its tricky bc my pal Pete is coming on with me Live and its all about cop26, we’ll be broadcasting on the day of the march so i really hope it goes ok (i actually wanted to walk with them) but its good to get the message out this way as well

  • I had a 3 way battle on my music appreciation class today, it was Disco against Punk and hip hop, I was on the Hip hop team and did a lot of the donkey work, typed out stuff and put my argument across, :slight_smile: disco was the favourite with hip hop almost on evens but not quite lol, was good fun.
    i also did an assessment and passed it :slight_smile: yayy

  • I took my neighbour out for Lunch

  • I also got my tire repaired

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  1. I had an interesting day with my literature class (we are still reading “Valis” by Philip K. Dick)

  2. I went on a walk in the park

  3. My dinner (indian food)

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  1. I’m healthy
  2. I have enough money to last the winter if I can’t work
  3. I’m blessed
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  • I was at college today, did some recording and editing, started a podcast on the genre of Krautrock
  • Had a BK on the way home, yummy
  • worked on my script and printed it all out for going Live tomorrow at my radio station.
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I’m immensely jealous of you! I’m stuck here in my grotto with my lo-tek equipment and you’re able to just kinda try a mix…oof, yeah I’m totally jealous, but seriously have fun, do good, and revel in the stuff you have

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My equipment in my flat is very basic now, i just have a mic and an old midi controller my pal gave to me (havent really used it much) i have ableton 11 though as an extended trial but i really should use it more.

I was actually pretty bored at college yesterday bc i was stuck in a sound booth working on a podcast about the beatles with a young lady and then i had to go and research Krautrock after lunch, the other half of the class were on the mixing desk all day in the studio recording bass for a green day track.

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My day is just beginning, so nothing too exciting, but so far so good

  1. Got the second good night sleep in a row. Man, I needed it
  2. I’ve got some nice strong coffe
  3. Got a beautiful, warm comfy fire going
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Got my rent paid on time

Got my pre op testing done

Hung out with my friend today

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Did lab practical 2 today… think I did ok

Had a caramel cold brew with almond milk

Just finished literature to film essay 2

Sleepy time

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