I think I’ve been faking SZA? I don’t believe I have a mental illness and I question the diagnosis? I have been involuntary hospitalised many times in 10 years. Over 8 involuntary admissions and 4 voluntary admissions. I think I faked SZA all through these admissions. I believe my care team have secret folders on me and I’m some kind of case study. My community nurse says their aren’t secret folders about me and I haven’t been implanted with a microchip in my left armpit., he let me read my case notes/folders going back too 2010 and I spend 4 hours skimming through them and their was no mention of me being a faker or malingerer. I do think they have secret folders.
Do you think a person could spend 10 years Intentionally faking SZA and the doctors and care teams as well as daily support staff as I have 24/7 support from care staff to live independently in the community not pick up on the fact that I’m a faker? - and me even telling doctors that I haven’t got anything wrong with me and faked everything and them not taking me seriously. They think I have a severe mental illness.
My thinking is that I faked it as I was neglected as a child and put into foster care at age 9.
Would as pdoc know if a person is faking SZ/SZA? My current pdoc has know me 6 years. He says I haven’t faked anything. My care manager has said that she’s seem me when unwell and said a person who isn’t unwell couldn’t act like me when I’m unwell, it would be worthy of an Oscar.
I’ve had episodes of this. Believing that I was faking it, had lied to everyone and that I was going to be punished for it.
Voices would even tell me I wasn’t sick, in my less resilient moments falling into delusion, I would believe them.
You aren’t alone in this. For me what was helpful was writing both sides of the debate in my head. I came to the conclusion the fact I’m having voices is evidence that I may really be sick.
What I know for certain is the medication for whatever reason, helps me. It helps things quiet down, helps keep me. That’s got to mean something.
Wishing you well. I hope you come to find a good place.
Why fake it? From what you wrote you have it 100%. There was a member here who was faking sz or it was drug induced intentionally, he was homeless and wanted cheap housing and disability income so he faked his mental illness.
I go through phases where I feel as though I faked this. Told my therapist and she said that’s normal to wonder if it was all fake when we are in a better place.
I’m sorry but first you say you don’t think you have schizophrenia and immediately after that you write what could only be called paranoid delusions. I was only like that for a few short months. Not only did I believe I was not schizophrenic and nothing was wrong with me but I thought I was a genius and I thought I was perfect. Those bubbles were burst after a few months. From what you write, all evidence seems to point towards a diagnosis of schizophrenia. When you have mental health professionals tell you you’re schizophrenic for the last ten years they might just be right.
I was at a home for people with mental issues for like six months and there was a guy there who faked it to have a place to live. He told them he “was a 600 year old egyption” or something like that and they sent him there.
I have regular periods of thinking I’m just socially dysfunctional rather than mentally ill. I try to reality test those thoughts . 1)If I was seen to be perfectly OK I wouldn’t have been switched to depot when I admitted I was bad at taking oral meds . 2) I function less well than a comparable person of my age and intelligence 3)A normal person wouldn’t have been self neglecting;as I was in Essex.
Let me put it this way: mentally healthy people don’t believe there’s some huge conspiracy against them with mental Healthcare workers keeping special top secret files on them and thinking they have a microchip implanted in them.
I would take your pdoc’s word for it. I think most of us have little inklings that we aren’t really sz, but we also know it is always a catastrophe when we come off our med’s.