Why is dating and finding friends so friggin hard?

Lounge
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It really grates on me.

My family say I am nice, and have good looks etc. I don’t feel that way. Honestly I feel like a walking poison that everyone is trying to keep away from.

Online I have tried dating again after outing myself as gay to my family, but the only interest I get online is from people twice my age.

It seems to have been a totally pointless exercise revealing my sexuality to people I know, as there is literally no one on the horizon who would even remotely want to be with me.

I lost all my school friends after I did a drug rehab in the community for 12 months when I was 17, and then when I was psychotic for over a year, who I thought were good people just abandoned me.

For the last 7 years, I have not had any friends. Socially my life is a mess, and it seems like something you cannot fix unless you have a foundation to work from.

Also I have severe trust issues with new people, and even if I did meet someone nice, I’d be constantly paranoid about what their intentions are, and whether they were trying to screw me over.

I do get lonely sometimes.

When my parents are gone, I will literally have no one. I hope the heavy smoking catches up with me sooner rather than later.

On top of all of this I have varied mental health problems, and the mental health services won’t leave me alone any more.

They treat me like I am a child, and they have my mother manage my meds, and they never take me seriously when I cancel appointments. All they keep saying to me is quit coffee, quit cigarettes, have a depot, go on Clozapine blah blah blah

I don’t know what to do. Sorry for this rant. Just been up in the early hours, and taking a step back to look at all my faults

:roll_eyes:

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I don’t have close friends either. No one would want to be my close friend and it’s understandable, when considering all of my limitations; it is for the best.

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@Ninjastar @rogueone Please remove the flag from my tag line - unless there is one that is burning.

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I just miss the times I used to have. Well not the drug taking, but the second phase of friends I had we used to do motocross, and other cool things. Life just seems so empty these days

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I can relate to a lot of what u said. Loneliness is so painful

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Did as you asked. Much peace!

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Thanks @rogueone - much appreciated.

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I am used to it now, but I still feel like I have been robbed of something a lot of people seem so good at, and take for granted.

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Internet dating is hard. I got back into it years ago and only got bites from people 10 years older than me. It’s not a slight on you it’s just how this weird world works. It’s hard for us. It really is but don’t close yourself off and keep trying.

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Did you try any meet up groups.
I’m priviliegdged to be part of an MI group next year.

That might be my main source of socialisation next year.

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I literally have no other option available to me than the internet. I don’t feel like a real person. I am just a collection of posts on a couple of forums, and a filed few profiles on some crappy dating sites.

Believe me I am an advocate of trying to push boundaries, but it gets to a point where exhaustion and frustration just feeds into it

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I was going to a board games one, but my anxiety disorder got the best of me and I bailed.

The mental health clubhouse here has been shut since March - just when I needed it the most, and was willing to give it a try

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Yeah hearing that. It’s a crazy world we live in now and I feel for you. Keep profile up and be different. Not sure how because it’s so random and weird. I grew up without tinder. Not sure how I’d do with that rubbish. Still.

Join a board game group. A gaming group. You often meet people outside the norms these days and keeping some social contact is good for the soul. No easy answers unfortunately.

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maybe join a local uk landscaping forum? might meet some pals with similar interest? for friends/colleagues

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I just don’t feel like I am long for this world.

Square peg round hole (Or the other way around)

Tinder has done no good. I basically indiscriminately like everyone fishing for even just a message.

I have no photos taken of me, as I don’t hang out with anyone.

Covid has ruined any chance of joining groups. It’s getting really bad again here in the UK, and there is almost certainly going to be a hardcore lockdown again - they might even be revising their Christmas policy on households mixing, as it’s getting bad now.

My county is surrounded by highly infectious areas, so won’t be long until restrictions come in again, if not at a national level.

They say 90% of hospital beds are full at the moment. We’re in a very dangerous situation

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I did re-connect with a landscaper I used to work with, but that went no where as we have not spoken for 3 months.

We worked well together, but he messed with my routine of going to the gym, and we have very different ways of working.

He was supposed to help me for a day to show me a new method of laying artificial grass, but he bailed on me, and left me to do it alone

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You will get new friends im sure of it. covid doesnt help but maybe in future pick some fun sports or activity to meet up

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Put it off no slight on you. It sounds horrible to even try and just be cool.

Things will change but I don’t rule out anything. Sure. I live with my old man and help pay the bills and I’m 50. It’s not such a priority in my life but never say never. It’s hard to be social but when things open up then try. Don’t give up being lonely. It is nice to connect with others.

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yeah it sucks when people are flakey. I had a friend from high school i finally gave up on recently he never calls any of us we always had to initiate meetups for the past like 10 years lol. so its ok to move on

reliable friends are so rare

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This is the problem.

I have been heavily taken advantage of in the past. Not sure if I even found the right people whether I would have it in me to trust them

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