I used to have a good memory, but now my long term memory is blurry or just not there. Short term is okay maybe average or above average, but I had some weird experiences, where I got obsessed with memorizing things and stuff and noticed 2-10x increased retention, but it’s gone.
I used to remember where everything was like a photographic memory and could memorize things and retain and learn things, but lacked hand eye coordination for blue collar jobs and mechanical skills like being a mechanic or engineer. I was good at sports though.
I was also excellent at school when I studied and tried.
Now, I have delusions about my delusions that the energy drinks are making me remember my dreams or are making me remember my past lives more because I remember them like I was there and have autobiopgrahical memory of them and visual-photo realistic memory of them, but they’re not real in this world or to other people.
Like before 2011, I was a normal college student. Then the schizophrenia happened and I cannot remember things anymore. Now, since that year, I have slowly improved but was really dissociated for years which has lifted.
I have theories that no-one cares about because it comes off as schizophrenia babble lol…
But it feels like time resets just for me back to 2011 just for me and I am just a random schizophrenic with that memory. Repeating the present for eternity. I’m glad no one cares but it’s also sad and pathethic too.
I guess a lot of schizophrenics think they discovered the rules or meaning of the universe, which I feel I have.