I told you, i feel nothing on it since years… Idk why’s that. Probably, cause i am too paranoid and crazy…
I was in pain today, i just needed to cry down, while my mom cant handle this well… While i was crying, she kept me a lecture, that i’ll always be ill…
In fact, my ex pdoc told her once, that i’ll always be in pain and since then, my mother believes this… I hate how my emotional pain affects me even physically. I have paranoai too, which makes me drag my feet at my worst, cause i am just SCARED… I feel this in whole my body…
someone who found out lifted his fears and mood by the zyprexa in fact? My doc says, that this ap can work for me in years, cause i was sick since long…
In fact, i was frustrated that my mother believes ill always suffer… She says the same about my other ill friends… Gosh, i hate my pains now tbh… Maybe even my boredom from the pain is a step forward to ease it one day? Before i was given up and not fighting…
I have somatics too because of my ill emotions, isnt it? Hugs
hey sorry to hear things are rough, Anna =(
I hope you get some relief soon…
(hugs) to you too =)
Am i exaggerating too much my pains in your opinion? They are painful to be honest, cause they get physical too, you know… Thats why i cant handle them when its too much… I am almost as a physical handicappe plus the emotional pain… Plus i wa slike this since a teenager, its been long years with the pains. I forgot long time ago what is to feel well, i dont feel ‘‘normal’’ never almost now…
I cried in front of my mom today, but it was so theatrical i find… She didnt hug me or anything, was just saying, that i should accept, that i’ll always be in pain… Why does she believes in the pain so much, gosh?..
Maybe my negative symptoms make me feel empty inside, but i feel not so much emptiness but pain… Oh, yeah, i guess i cant feel joy or pleasure either… Maybe when theres emptiness, its painful in the more severe phases of the illness…
Can the zyprexa lift this epmtiness?
What do you think on my mom’s opinion - that we’ll always be in pain?
no i don’t think you are exaggerating things… it’s how it feels to you and that is ok.
About your mum i find it weird a bit. My mum would stay positive and say i could be ok. I don’t think we always will be in pain… i want to believe things will get better.
About your meds, i’m not sure… you been on the zyprexa long time already and it could get better but i can imagine it’s hard to keep believing it will help at some point.
I was really bad also till i came on the combo of risperdal consta 50mg and 200mg clozapine a day and just that combo made things a bit better for me.
I still have bad days though and also physical pain sometimes cause of it… like i get so tense like it feels like my neck/shoulders will burst… it’s weird.
Yeap, my mom says, that no one didnt feel well with this illness, neither got recovered… She keeps saying, that i’ll always be in pain… Why only my mother is like this? I cant stand this anymore… I almost have only her and she keeps saying, that i’ll always suffer… Maybe she smashed me more than i think no??? I ended up by not saying her all and i should keep the hope for feeling better only for me…
I feel like my mother is the only one on this earth, who says that ill always be in pain… Why she keeps believing it? If i argue with her on this, she says, that she knows better and that she is realistic… Why is she like that for god sake???
maybe your mother is a bit negative as a person… like thinking about the bad more than the good? But she still your mother of course… but i would keep open about that things could get better still… you have to keep believing in it… when you believe in it, it gives you energy to fight again.
Thank you for the answer, @lekkerhondje. Yeah, my sister says, that my mother is a negative person in usual… But are there people like that?
I know i shouldnt hate her either, no one deserves my hate 
But the most of the parents with mi children say these things to them, too or what?
With all this, i think i’ll be a complicate character one day too… We are a bit predetermined by our parents too i guess… But tbh, all my anger flies up when she says, that i’ll always suffer so i am not a good person 
… I guess the only path is the peace with her and in my mind towards this 
I dont know if she has love towards me still… She said, that if she knew, that my father was mentally ill, she wouldnt have married him neither have kids with him… she believes its all genetic… anyway, she has her qualities too, but idk why she is so negative…
Do you believe my doc too, who says, that my zyprexa can help me even after years? Yeah…
i think she still loves you but she is a bit negative yea. which doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love her anymore or hate her… she is still your mom and i like to believe all mothers feel love for their children.
But she shouldn’t be that negative to you… i think she should really try to give you some energy to be able to keep fighting.
You deserve a nice life and i believe things could always get better.
And yea genetics have some play in MI… but it doesn’t matter really… she did marry your father and they had their kids and now you have to make it work with the chances that you got.
I see, ok…No, she cant change, she is very authoritarian on her opinions… Even my doc told me, that she is authoritarian, imagine…
Ill have to take my emotional distance from her i guess. But i really feel as a bad person, i socialize badly cause she made me believe in this negativity… I still am trying to be smarter on this, slyer too with her, but i dont feel natural anymore because of this…
She shouldnt be negative but she will be it. Maybe if i get better once by a mircale and start acting here and out there, she’ll start to talk differently to me… She loves me a lot, but she treats me still as her dummy a bit i find… I will never get energy from her about the fighting, so i am alone… and its hard to be alone, yeah…
you are not a bad person for sure though… don’t believe otherwise… you deserve a good life. But it’s hard living a life with this sickness huh… it took a long time for me to accept that i had to be happy with a simpler life where less happens but i did find some happiness in it. I hope you manage to find that too.
But it’s hard when you got like really authoritarian person in your life and they have a whole different image of life and it’s hard then to form your own image of life.
Yeap, i need to rediscover the simpler life too 
anyway… My mom is negative yeap…
No one cant share his experience with the zyprexa? What do you feel exactly on it, pals?..
I dont understand why I feel absolutely nothing on it, its like candy for me. Yeah, it pulled me out of my bed for sure, but I dont feel nothing good on my mind from it… I dont understand why it doesnt kill my paranoia and my anxiety? Yeah, I have thinking deficits as well, maybe that’s why… or my fear was way too deep in me…
What do you feel on this med, please? Does it relax your brain?
I was taking huge doses of zyprexa.
I gained weight.
I still had psychosis.
I took 12 aps in ten years. They are 13 on the market here… none of them didnt take away my fear from the people… some aps even worsened it. And one pdoc was honest with me and told me, that they gave me way too many meds, which probably smashed me even more… i am done with the aps i think… i keep the zyprexa, which helps me eat and sleep and be out of my bed. But i carry my fear still… as I said, I have thinking deficits as well, while the fear probably loves this… and maybe the aps cant make me smarter?.. no good thinking, a good terrain for the fear, idk…
One other pdoc told me also, that at our worst, we dont even feel our aps. I believe that I think… maybe I was bad for years, way too bad even for a strong ap. Maybe the zyprexa will help me more once I become to progress a bit too, idk…
For the others, what do you feel on zyprexa?
Zyprexa is very good for sleep but it has a lot of toxicity and caused me pain also. I don’t know how independent you are, but people are lying to you, telling you, you have to accept pain and have no life. Latuda doesn’t cause pain, abilify and caplyta don’t seem to. You need to research your problems. If your mother isn’t supportive, maybe you should try living independently.
I’ve been on zyprexa for 14 years. I didn’t know if it caused some of my pain or not. I think it’s just the pain of my arthritis. Mentally, zyprexa is good for me.
But what do you feel mentally then, chordy? This doc who told me, that I’ve tried too many meds, said that zypr6is a very good med…
@anon6551389, I dont listen much to my mother anymore… but I need some help still… I cant live independently still, I am even a physical infirm now. Maybe one day though, not now… I am also without friends, my mother helps me to learn to talk again even… she is just desperate… I’ve tried abilify too and it worsened my anxiety. I’ve said it to you, I took too many aps, nothing helped my fear…
I am done with this, I’ve tried them all, I dont exaggerate. Even clozapine and haldol and many others…
Today, I feel very normal. I’m not saying I never feel mental grief like the fear that people won’t help me or will abandon me, but compared to where I’ve been mentally, zyprexa is very good for me.
Maybe its true what this doc said to me - that we dont feel our meds at our worst. Maybe my negatives also dont let me feel something special on this med or the others… I find, that my fear is lessened a bit on zyprexa, but I still have it strong… maybe with time…
Glad that you are better in your mind now 
For my ex pdoc it was a success, that the zyprexa pulled me out of the bed, where I was crippled with racing mind. Not any other med did this… but I am still bad in my head though, that’s all…
Recovery is a step at time thing. I know it is difficult to be patient but do your best to.