And by dx I don’t mean literal diagnosis per se but rather onset of symptoms.
For me as a kid socialization was a breeze, I never had to think about it and I was quite popular. Then when I had my first major depressive episode around 13 it was like the social part of my brain crashed…suddenly I could never think of anything to say…and so many of my behaviors were weird that I just didn’t pick up on anymore either I did so many cringy things in high school. It took me years after that initial crash for my social skills to be semi-normal again. It still takes effort to socialize for me now and I am still a bit awkward at times due to it, though you probably wouldn’t realize it upon one conversation with me.
I was very social in my 20s and enjoyed it. In my early 30s I did a lot of “faking” being social as I didn’t really enjoy it. Then after my psychotic break and first hospitalisation I lost all interest really.
That’s what happened to me when I was 13 I suddenly just lost all interest in social interaction so first it was like by choice I didn’t talk to anyone. Then when I snapped out of that and tried I realized I couldn’t do it even though I wanted to. It was hard.
Now I waver back and forth depending on how I’m doing.
well, before ever having any psychotic disorder symptoms, ive had asd symptoms since i was a baby so socialization was hard for me from the time i could speak and play with others
For me, I attempted to be social as a kid, I was pretty outgoing and wanting to make friends. As I hit puberty though, after bullying especially, I just became reclusive and shy. I come off as extroverted around my friends though!
Edit: I dunno if I got less social after my psychosis, some times I feel like staying in my room (some times due to overstimulation I got with my psychosis). However, when I’m hypomanic, I feel like socializing, even if I necessarily don’t have a lot to say or don’t know what TO say.
Weirdly I’ve had psychosis symptoms since literally forever (even since before I could remember according to my mom…) but the social issues didn’t start until I first got depression.
I did have a lot of odd quirks as a kid…but I think I was charming enough to make up for them then.
I went through a sad phase where I wished I fit in more when I was in grade school. Then I rebelled in my early teens and did my own thing. I was more at ease being myself. That got me through middle school, high school and onward. Went through a lot of isolation/alienation when I first got sick and it continued to a large degree throughout most of my life. When I met my girlfriend and after we actually started seeing each other, I slowly began to heal. Now I think I’m doing okay. I even say hello to strangers on the street and at the store, if they look harmless enough.
I started acting weird in junior high. I didn’t fit in during high school. I gossiped a lot and hated everyone. Now I blame my karma for my mental illness. If only I had been nicer…friendlier.
When I started to come to later in Highschool and realize I was unpopular and seen as weird I tried to compensate for it by acting like I was better than other people and gossiping, dropping “unpopular” friends (who had been very good friends to me) etc. It went against all my values and my personality and I still feel very guilty about it to this day. Luckily I was only like that for a couple years.
I had lots of friends in elementary school. Then I had only a few friends and I never had anyone to eat lunch with, for all of junior high and senior high schools. I remember a few happy times. I could not hold a conversation for the 20s. Then I had my breakdown at age 25.
I wasn’t very social as a kid. I was the shy type. Especially in elementary school. I had like 2 friends, and I mostly kept to myself.
In high school however, things changed. I started drinking since grade 9, and began smoking cigarettes and marijuana in grade 10. Needless to say, I joined the popular group of kids. I will never forget the memories I had in high school.
When I was DX’d, I lost all my friends. I became sober and never really kept any friends. When I started working full time after my recovery, I had co workers who I hung out with every now and then.
After I relapsed, I lost my job and everyone I kept in touch with. I developed agoraphobia and to this day I still have it. It’s not as bad as it was, but it’s still there. My only friends are my family and my pets. So yes, at this time in my life socializing in person is hard. And I wish for it to change.
making friends wasn’t easy for me but I had some throughout my school days, in college (dropout) I really came alive with alcohol/weed around all the time…I started to withdraw socially when I was no longer satisfied partying…I started skipping weddings and not returning phone calls and that did the trick
anyways now I don’t know what to say to people and I often get moody with doctors and authority figures when I do socialize…sza
I was always poor at socializing… I don’t get a lot of common topics… the culture here is very bland… and they’re always trying to convince themselves it’s the same every else… really small minded thinking…
Actually my capacity to socialize outside of the most comfortable by pretense environments all started with this forum… actually started with @sarad… she took to talking to me every day back then, really woke me up.
Now I’ll talk until the cows come home… because I frankly don’t care if I’m saying embarrasing things to other people… or oppositely talking over their heads… a lot of folks are hung up in their closets and wearing many masks throughout the day… I like showing people that they don’t have to do that… damn I had to play that game and it totally broke my head…
As long as people are still laughing and smiling before I back away from talking I feel pretty comfortable just rambling…
I think the brain develops humor because it has to in order to cope… and I’ve had a helluva lot of coping to do in my past… and I have some good comedic roll models in my life.
Even my threads aren’t very popular on here. I’m on here a lot too. Some people get hundreds or thousands of replies. Some people are just popular and know what to say. Im not a part of any click.
I was a bit shy but socialization was easy and enjoyable once I got familiar with my schoolmates.
Then when I was 15-16 my brain started to malfunction…
