Trying to stay calm.... panicking on the inside. I think it's hospital time

For weeks I’ve known something was not right with my poor kid sis. I’ve been thinking I’m seeing the first signs of cracking. It’s not drug’s. Her job drug test’s all the time and she passes every time. She’s says she’s just to afraid to tempt that fate. With the addiction problems in our family and the mental illness in our family… There’s no putting the marbles back in the bag if it all goes wrong. She’s stayed on the straight path.

Last night she came into my room, woke me up and confessed to a host of problems…

Due to over the moon levels of stress she’s been afraid every time the phone rings because she’s sure it will be bad news about one of her many friends or our other siblings. So she flinches and drops things more. (that I have noticed)

She’s been hearing a voice… my voice calling for help over and over again. That’s why she’s been bolting out of her room to check on me and then seeming surprised when she sees I’m Ok. (her head is just hour after hour of me screaming for help.)

She’s been having a hard time concentrating due to panic levels and she’s loosing her amazing organization skills. I guess this month the bills were a few days late. She’s been having a hard time playing songs on the piano that I know she can play.

She’s been having episodes of hyperventilation and crying jags. (i knew about the crying) She says her vision is getting blurry. She doesn’t know if that is stress too, or she needs new glasses.

BIG ONE: SCARY.… She has always had a real sensitive stomach. Food makes her feel “bad”. Everyone has been saying it’s part of the anorexia. But she’s admitted that she’s been coughing up blood and is having a harder and harder time keeping food down. Our other brother Jack has put out the idea of a stress ulcer. I looked up what an stomach ulcer is… man, that is a mean beast.

Yesterday at work during her guard session of morning lap swim, she said was sure she saw a man in trouble so she initiated a full recovery rescue on a guy who wasn’t drowning. (that’s why she locked herself in her room yesterday.) That seems to have scared her enough to admit that she’s not doing well.

So she’s finally admitted there is a problem… Not an easy thing for her. She is going to see a doctor about the coughing up blood. But for the stress, I’m trying to figure out… what can I do? Who rescues the lifeguard?
Actually… how does one soothe an ulcer? The websites say drink milk. There has to be more to it then that. Do people get hospitalized for ulcers?

It seems to b something other than an ulcer if she’s hearing ur voice in her head. I think the first port of call shouldxb a shrink. Ud know if iit was an ulcer as ud get stomach pains aswell. Hope u get help soon hunni. Xx

Thank you for the reply… Poor kid is a mess. She’s got the stomach pains. Had them for years and years. But stupid us, we all just said… “Well, that’s anorexia kid” But now she’s coughing up blood and that has me really scared for her.

Drs asap then. Xxx I hope u get to the bottom of it soon. Xxx

J, don’t feel too bad. It often takes sometime to get it right what’s going on. Probably you’ll consult a psychiatrist, right? It doesn’t have to be related to self medication. Changes in crying jags, concentration and organization skills, I think I have that as a teen.

About coughing blood, you don’t know if it is ulcer yet. Consider a visit to er if she really feel unwell.

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The doctor should be able to prescribe her something to help treat the ulcer. Try to stay calm. Take the rest of it one step at a time. She has been stressed. As things calm down the other things may calm down too. When you are used to being on guard all the time sometimes there is an adjustment period when things are not constantly chaotic. Ironically as things calmed down with my son that is when I started getting the least organized. Paid wrong bills, forgot to pick up or refill prescriptions etc. Make an appointment with the eye doctor.

I’m so sorry this is going on. I’m sure it’s alarming to you and her. Since coughing up blood can be caused by a number of serious conditions, I think you should take her to the ER.

Likely they will rule out the more serious conditions by performing an abdominal CT scan, or maybe an abdominal ultrasound.

These are simple procedures with very little risk involved. But are very good at diagnosing stomach problems.

The ER is equipped with all the tools needed to help your sis. So don’t be afraid or overwhelmed by all of these symptoms. You need to be calm and clear headed right now. For her and yourself.

I’m sending prayers and calming energy your way.




I have been noticing that sort of lost wandering around the flat. She’ll wait on me like a waitress. If I finish a cup of tea, she’ll bring me another one right away. I hate that. Sounds weird, but I hate it. It makes me nervous. She’ll pile blankets on me and ask me if I need anything like 10 times a day. I know there was a time where I was crap at taking care of myself. But I’m getting better now. So I’m trying not to get too angry with her for treating me like an invalid. But it is really getting under my skin. She’ll apologize and leave me alone for a while but then little by little it creeps back. I just want to grab her hands and yell, “You’re my sister, not my nurse or my maid. I can do it myself.”

She will be so very relieved to hear that part. She was trying to find out how they would figure out what was wrong. No scalpels involved. Ok, if I’m honest, I’m more relieved about no scalpels then she is. She’s not afraid of knives or needles.

She was actually hoping they would make her swallow a tiny camera on a fiber to look in her stomach. Even if they did that, she would most likely be put under so she wouldn’t get to see it. Relieved to see she’s still a bit weird.

I can’t help but smile when I read things like this. You have come so far. I’m trying to remember how long ago it was that kid sis came onto the forum. Whenever it was, she was probably doing all of these things for you but you didn’t notice. Now you are noticing. Give her time to adjust to the new you.

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Using a camera, referred to as endoscopy, is also an option. It’s a little old school and some doctors don’t use that procedure anymore.

She would most likely be sedated for that procedure, but the sedation would wear off quickly. So the doc might let her see the captured images.



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What were some of the first things you did to begin to kick some of the stress and panic out of your life? I know you’ve said it’s been a beast with you. But your starting to knock it down really well. If you don’t mind me asking, what were some of your first steps. I was slapped in stress management therapy during rehab and my head was sort of swimming anyway. My stress management was intergraded with staying sober and clean.

She’s not going to get that flavor of it. I had no idea mental stress could kill that much physical health.

My stress and panic has been one of the most debilitating symptoms for me. I think the tipping point for me was when my stress and panic started causing serious health problems. It caused a severe stomach problem that I’m still dealing with today.

So I knew I had to do something about it ASAP. My first step was getting medication (clonazepam) to help ease the panic. Once the medication started working and I was able to think more clearly, I started CBT.

That’s where I found real relief. It helped me learn coping skills that I could use in addition to medication. Eventually, as my coping skills got better, I was able to reduce the medication.

Cut to today where I’m completely off of anti-anxiety medication. I credit CBT for that. I do use some supplements to relax me, but they’re far safer and easier than benzodiazepines.

The point is that medication and therapy go hand-in-hand at treating stress and panic. They’re both essential in the initial treatment.

I can’t tell you how much my quality of life has improved since starting that regimine!



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Hey J, I’m sorry to hear that you and your Sister are going through a rough time now. I can use only myself as an example. When something is out of the comfort zone in my life, when there is a change bad, or sometimes even good, I get out of sorts. If there is something not positive in my life happening, I tend to go into panic mode - everything else doesnt matter, I focus and magnify the negative situation. If it is an ulcer, they are very treatable - through a special bland diet and sometimes temporary meds usually. the ulcer heals itself and one gets better.
Try to remain focused and calm, It’s probably not as big or bad as you are thinking it is.
Wishing you and your sister all the best.

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my dad had an ulcer, in the hospital for a little while.
not me, when i get like that i take some seroquel and go to sleep.
when you wake up practice relaxation techniques.
I got a crazy little sister too, same problem, takes on stress like there’s nothing wrong with that.
you can see that scared little girl trying to keep a straight face and hold it together,
barely able to breathe from all her anxiety.
gotta relax.

me i practice anorexia on purpose,
only way to eliminate nasty tactile hallucinations.
if i eat i feel “bad”, like bugs are crawling through my body and making me itch everywhere,
very disturbing. So no i don’;t eat but yes i do live,
diet that can keep you alive, give you zzero satisfaction and feel like zero calories but maintain your physical and mental strength,

see nepomuk onderdonk antiparasitic crunch on you tube, that’s the diet,
cause mankind has two brains they recently discovered,
one in the head, the other in the belly,
just as much neural tissue in your colon as in your brain.
the brain keeps itslef full with ideas,
the gut keeps full of vegetables,
or nothing,
or bad stuff.

if i were her i wouldn’t eat the bad stuff, as bad as messing with drugs
if you have a sensitive “colon” / mind



I dont know about ulcers, save for the president of this fraternity i was pledging had an ulcer from drinking and he could only eat grilled cheese for months. Lol

But she needs some attention from an MD. Coughing up blood is a serious problem. As far as mental health is concerned, she might just be within the normal range of stress related problems, but an evaluation would leave no stone unturned- I took one and learned EVERYTHING about myself, mental health status, personality traits, even prognosis for my schizophrenia was taken from the results of a formal evaluation. I have the very treatable type of schizophrenia, high positive symptoms and low negative symptoms, I found this out right when the doc was finished evaluating me.

I hope this gets cleared up…she sounds like she’s been doing well and I would hate to hear bad news. You sound like you’re doing well too. Whatever the problem is, it can be treated…those psychiatrists and psychologists and MD’s all know their stuff and are like wizards. I had a torn muscle which I thought was a groin hernia, and the doc took less than a minute to figure out what was wrong and decide what to do about it.

Sorry to hear this. Did you say she had anorexia? I used to have it and recovered completely within a year, so if she does I can share some insight about it. It’s a serious disorder, anorexia can be fatal.

She was diagnosed with anorexia she was hugely underweight. It was almost six months ago, she fainted at work.

She’s been working on it the best she can. I’m about 6’3" and all gangly. She’s shorter then me, about 5’ 10" and 103- 105 pounds. That is UP from 93 or so.

I’m told that at 5’10" a healthy weight is 130 for females. She’s working on it. But now that this has come to light, she might not be anorexic after all, it could just be stress related inability to keep food down. I guess she has been unable to keep food down for years. All stress related.

How did you beat it? It only took you a year? I do NOT like the sound of fatal. I though people lived with this like we live with SZ, not pleasant, but manageable. But fatal?

“Anorexia can be fatal” was a true or false question on one of my abnormal psych exams…
I recovered by getting an interest in being muscular. I went from having anorexia to manorexia, where you always want to be bigger and stronger. I studied nutrition and started myself on a health food but high calorie diet, and I moderated my exercise and subbed some cardio for strength training. I became lean and muscular, I was rather skeletal before. It took me just 3 months to get a healthy weight back, but I was eating a special high calorie diet. It really takes motivation of the anorexic to change…they are the ones who will chew and swallow food.

Anorexia is a psychological and social disorder, not neurological. Psychiatrists don’t give plain anorexics any meds. It’s common for anorexics to have depression or anxiety fueling their anorexia, but it is treated through talk therapy primarily. She’s too skinny, I can tell you that. I was 5’7, 113lbs and that was underweight and fit the criteria for anorexia. I was told that if I was female, I would have had amenorrhea, or missed periods due to starvation.

Maybe ask her is she has amenorrhea…I know that she wont like that but it will tell you if she for sure has it. But that body weight, 5’10 and 105 sounds like an Auschwitz survivor’s body weight.

Well that should cover the anorexia part…this could all be stress related though. Stomach ulcers can happen to anorexics who purge (vomit). But it SOUNDS like stress is the culprit, not her weight.

Ask me anything about anorexia, I’ve been there done that and literally got an A in it last semester, it was a huge topic in Abnormal Psychology.

i think girls can get carried away on anorexia.
my sister practiced it three times in life and abruptly stopped after she’s achieved her goal.
she is a crazy girl all about superficial things, so guess that’s how that happened.
i practice anorexia and it’s difficult, i drop off the wagon and eat like a pig for a few days,
but i get very sick, hit rock bottom, and quit food again for weeks.
i am at 118, and even when i try to gain nothing happens, but i keep gradually losing,
even though i really do everything i can strategy wise to gain weight,
just don’t actually eat food other than raw radished, brussel sprouts, and califlauer.
all the veins show in the mirror, after a shower i can watch my heartbeat and all the organs beating,
it’s like i’m transparent. anorexia on purpose for the sake of relieving sz symptoms, since after 32 years their meds do zero, those wizards are just old men behind the screen wonder mouse, don’t look! don’t look! it’s just the wizard, not really as powerful as you think, or wish.


I can fight down hallucinations, delusions and bad perceptions in reality. I can face some high waves, split currents and even a rip current. But I don’t think there is anyway I can face a head strong redhead and ask that.

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