Just an update... in hospital... mass confusion


Continuing the discussion from Trying to stay calm… panicking on the inside. I think it’s hospital time:

That was yesterday morning… The doc’s took one look my sis and kept her. I only got to see her last night. They are going to keep her for tonight too. They are trying to stop the stomach bleeding. If it doesn’t stop soon they are going to “go in and fix it” But I haven’t been told anything other then that. She is also anemic and there were a host of other problems.

I don’t know why they won’t talk to me. I’m the one who lives with her. I’m the one who knows what she’s been eating and what she’s been doing. Why won’t they let me in on the conversation. They keep trying to talk to our parents… they don’t know. They don’t live with her.

I don’t know if I’m just not realizing how bad this is, can’t read what’s going on around me, not quite understanding what’s going on, or if this is routine and no one seems panicked. Or maybe they are all scared underneath and are pretending this all normal because they are afraid to set me off… Just because I’ve been fighting off SZ doesn’t mean I can’t be there for someone else… this is so confusing.

I can’t tell if this is “OH MY GOD” time or if this is… “Eh, it happens, we can fix it. Boring really…” time.

My sis has always been more self-supporting then all of us boys. We have all had some problem or another with Mental illness or addiction or depression so Mom and Dad are always dealing with us. But not my sis. No addiction, no problems with the law, no drinking, good grades, sunny disposition, self-professed optimist… Never needed extra attention so she never really got extra attention… until now.

I just always figured that by the time she would be able to get to the parents, the well of energy would be dry. So I took care of her. I always wondered too how they felt. I always knew they liked her well enough, but they never seem to be that worried about her… Until now. I’ve never seen them cry over her… until now.

For some reason my window of delayed emotional reaction is still wide open. Maybe it’s blown open and will never shut now.

I was wondering, how do you NOT let a family medical emergency cue the head circus?


I’m so sorry that this is happening to you and your family. But the good news is that you have each other for support.

I think that uncertainty over your sister’s condition creates panic. I think you might avoid a flare in symptoms by knowing what’s going on.

I can understand your parents wanting to insulate you from the stress. But that might be making you MORE paranoid. Explain this to them, and ask to be let in on the specifics of your sister’s condition, so you can alleviate some of that uncertainty and panic.

Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way.




I know u are very new to this situation now that your kid sis requires a lot of medical attention and you are waiting at home. You are doing very good to take her to the hospital and tell your parents. Some times we don’t understand why the medical staff do things in certain ways. We can just be there and be ready to cooperate with them. I am certain your parents would ask u for supplementary information if they need to know anything about her daily living. The fact that they don’t panic maybe because her situation is not so bad. Please try to calm down. It’s a good progress now that doctors and nurse can do all kinds of check up and treatment. Please take a hot shower and drink something hot, tell yourself everything is well taken care of. If u really miss her, try to draw her a card or write her a letter.

If you see her tommorrow, reassuring her that you are taking really good care of yourself. Give her a lot of hug and hold her hands. She will like that.

Lastly, I think the head circus is not something very predictable. Talk to us any time you feel like to.



Thank you for that. I was thinking about you yesterday. The stuff it takes to be a nurse is amazing. I totally understand the satisfaction you get from helping people. But the general interest in just how the body and mind works… I am in awe of you guys now. Getting to the inside of a mind I can understand. Getting to the inside of a stomach or a bone or a lung… you guys have nerves of steel.

My sis did get her picture of the inside of her stomach. She’s showing this to me with interest about the anatomy of the stomach and I am ready to puke or faint. But she’s showing this to me with a very genuine interest. I always though when someone had an ulcer, they had one… not many. I didn’t know you could get many.


Thank you for that. I am trying to sort of keep my mind off it all. I will be popping by to see her when ever I can today. I got her some white carnations and tulips. Those are her favorite. She’s never been into roses.

I feel it’s sort of OK now, I did look through her room for clues… I found her food diary stuffed in the box spring of her bed. So I am going to give that one to the doctor.

Waiting is the hardest part. Thank you for the re-assurance. I don’t like being “insulated”


Im sorry to hear this. I do think they are ignoring you because of stigma, which is their fault. I would trust the doctors, MD’s know their ■■■■. She’s getting help, which is the best thing for her right now. I think you need to relinquish your control of the situation and let the doc’s take over from here. I think that the best way to keep your head on straight right now is to rationalize and be pragmatic- ask yourself what YOU can do and let others do the same for themselves. If everyone would do that, it will all be ok.

I know you feel like you can/should/need to do something, but I think you have done all that you can. Let the doctors work and earn enough to buy a 2015 Mercedes SUV, they might fix your sister up while they’re at it.


Thank you for the post. I’m trying to stay out of the way and still get told what is going on. My sis is awake now and was able to tell me what the doctors told her. They are going to do a surgery of some sort tomorrow. But it’s unclear to me what or how they are going to do this.

But thanks for the good hope.


i think ur doing great j. my thoughts r with u and ur sister. xxx


I can only sit here and hope for the best for you and your sister. I think you are doing well. Your communication skills have not suffered.


Hope your sister gets better, and hope you are able to deal with it.


Hang in there J, I know everything is going to be alright.


oh man, i hope she is alright :frowning:

i just want her to be well and playing the piano and swimming with her friends :frowning:

tell her we are all thinking about her and willing her to get better

she should not be going through this not at her age, she is still very young

get well soon xxx


I’m sorry this happening to your family, surprised, I realy hope the surgery goes well. The situation is scary, I wish ‘kid sis’ good luck. And you too.


I hope all goes well with your sister. Please keep us informed . :smile:


Don’t know what to say - but I think anorexia is a form of addiction. It seemed that way to me.


Wishing the best for your kid sis and you too J.
Hope the head circus closes due to lack of interest and no audience.
Keep your chin up.


i am sorry your kid sis is in hospital but she is surrounded by professionals, and getting the care and rest she needs.
in australia 17 is classified as a minor so all information goes to the parents that is pretty normal.
she is lucky to have a big brother like you. don’t forget to look after your self too and don’t stress too much !
take care


Thank you everyone for energy, the kind wishes and the hope. They go in midmorning tomorrow. So I get to see her before they do what ever voodoo they do.

I still wish they would explain what it is they are doing. I’m trying to hang in there. I’ve got my Dad hanging with me tonight to so I’m not here alone climbing the walls with my head circus.

I’ll so let her know that people are rooting for her. Thank you all again for the kind words guy it really cheered me up and means a lot. She’s in pretty good spirits. But then if she weren’t, she would never show it.
We’ll see how tonight goes for me and tomorrow goes for her.


So sorry to hear what has happened with your sister. Will be thinking of you and your sister tomorrow. Hope all goes well. I’m glad your dad stayed with you and your not alone. take care and best wishes for tomorrow.


hope everything will be ok J