Something has changed

Going to have my bf drive me after dinner, seeing as it is a two hour drive I don’t want him to be hungry.

I called the hotline and they told me to get over there asap.

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Great to know help may finally be at hand for you! :slight_smile:

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I feel sorry for you for going throu all of this but YOU DON’T QUIT AP’s COLD TURKEY! Pdocs tapper them off very slowy for a reason.

I am fully aware of that.

They just said that they don’t prescribe meds at 9pm to patients she hasn’t met before. She offered hospitalization, but I declined. She told me I had to wait to meet my own doc. I tried to explain that my doc told me to come to see them at the psych er. She shrugged.
I’m dying inside right now. They are so getting reported.

Allow yourself to be hospitalized. It isn’t so bad, and they will give you meds.

I just can’t do it.

What are you afraid of?

Everything gets worse in there. Too many people and I can’t take noise right now. I stop eating because I lose my apetite when I am feeling this way and the food there is not exactly apetizing. Also, the voices tend to get louder and angrier.

It does get worse, but it is also the only way for you to get access to meds before November 8. Sometimes you have to take the lesser of two evils.

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They are probably trying to test me, to see how I will react without meds.
Idk what I will do. I haven’t decided. Experimenting with people is not ok.

They are not experimenting with you. This is how the system works. They can’t give you meds without seeing you because they don’t know how you’ll react.

I would probably believe you, if it wasn’t for the fact that the doc wont see me for weeks. And she has ignored my requests to speak to her for weeks, even while my case was marked as urgent.

That is just standard bureaucracy for you. I was on a waiting list for months before I finally gave up and just walked into the hospital. Mental health care isn’t the most well-funded department in most countries, and the doctors try to do what they can with what they have.

I’m not new to this. I have had this diagnosis for almost 10 years. I know when I am being ignored.

I can’t tell you what to do. But the hospital will help you if you’re willing to give it a chance.

We went back today because my bf really wanted me to get som meds asap.
They seemed to think it was urgent as f**k, because they locked me up AND are going to give me an injection with a coctail of meds. Cisordinol, Haldol and Diazepam. I honestly don’t want any of those. I have been avoiding injections like the plauge. I don’t want to be knocked out either, but they said that that was kind of the point. They said I need to sleep.
They did say I will be feeling better tomorrow, but I am honestly scared to death. I hate being in this god forsaken place, I don’t want injections! But they gave me my own room, which is a plus.
I don’t know when they will want to give me the injection, but I guess soon.

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Hold on to the pluses. I know how horrible hospitals can be. If the other option was death, then I am grateful that they decided to put you in hospital, even if it is awful.

Keep thinking positive thoughts about your situation—you got help, you took steps to get treatment, those are all really good actions you should be proud of.

The hospital is temporary. I hope your stay is alright and I hope you agree to injections, as you only take them once and that way you won’t accidentally miss a dose.
Be safe!

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They injected me a few minutes (?) ago. How long until I start feeling sleepy or less anxious? So far all that happened is that my ass hurts and is numb, all at the same time, and my legs are a little numb when I stand. I wish I had told them that Diazepam has never helped me with my anxiety. I feel like there is a stone on my chest and breathing is strained. So, how long until I’m sleepy?

Thank you @HQuinn

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Honestly, if you’re too worked up, you might not get sleepy for a while. I’ve seen kids take a full on tranquilizer and still keep beating themselves for hours afterwards. If your adrenaline is going, it could be a while. If you can, try to concentrate on taking slow, deep breaths. Try to breathe in for four seconds and out for six. Then, slowly start adding a second on to your breaths until you feel more calm. Don’t focus on anything. Except breathing.

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