I have been battling that same old internal battle of to take my medications or to quit them. I am anxious and not feeling like I’m getting the help I need with anything. I feel backwards and upside down with myself. Yes I had the highs and lows among other problems before. But I’m messed up inside still regardless. I sit and compare (A) being messed up and on meds and have to deal with side effects or (B) being messed up and just dealing with myself and my disease. I feel like a ■■■■ up either way.
From what I understand once you start taking meds just stopping without your doc monitoring you thats like the worst thing that you can do.
Yes I’m under the impression it’s a ‘no-no’ to stop meds ever, but I have such a burdening desire to just not take them and I don’t know run off…I guess I get overwhelmed like all of this drama is just stupidly pointless?
I don’t like the side effects of anti-psych med’s, but experience has taught me that I can’t suddenly stop taking them. I’ve seen enough to know that most other sz’s can’t either. If you do want to get off your med’s, try to do it while you’re being monitored by a professional.
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I am suffering a lot its probably the illness or probably because I have injected with medications.
I would however consciously never take the medications.
It is just my choice and I believe that as long as I am not harming anyone I am entitled for that choice.
I believe that if you can’t escape it then it’s not drama it’s real.
As long as you learn from it and practice what you’ve learned its not pointless.
Hopefully when you get deep into a really bad episode that practice of what you’ve learned previously will get you through.
Im just learning this and it’s really helped me because im in a constant loop where I wish it wasn’t real but it is and its like im relearning this everyday.
I’m sorry this is hitting you. I have this conversation almost every morning with myself… I feel great. Why am I doing this? Do I really need this?
I am med compliant (NOW) and it’s still a struggle. I will take my meds… doesn’t mean I like them. But I do like being stable.
I do still have some break out symptoms… but there are little things that the meds help with…
I like:
not being completely out of my head accusing my family of things during a paranoid spike …
Not being in hospital…
Not having long conversations with the wind…
being able to from a sentence with no word salad…
even on my bad days, having the motivation to at least get up and take a bath.
I’d say… It’s a no-no to do it on your own with no help. There are other ways to get through this… there are some people on the forum who are successfully med free…
But they have hypnotherapy, CBT, other support systems in place.
I’ve been going through CBT for a while and it’s helped me lower the dose when I’m doing well. I would love to be med free… but I’m working with my doc towards that goal… not just quitting my meds when ever.
I’m sorry your having this internal struggle… it’s draining after a while.
Good luck, stay strong… and if you really want to quit the meds… please keep your doc in the loop and a crisis plan in place.
I’m rooting for you.
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Most doctors won’t go along with it. I have heard of a few that do, but it’s rather rare.
I also know a few people who have quit on their own successfully by weaning themselves off and if they start feeling agitated they will take some… they will cut down to 3/4, then 1/2, then 1/4, 1/8, and off in 2 or 3 weeks to avoid the shock of withdrawal and the mental and physical reactions…While they struggled at first they successfully overcame.
One such person was on 6 psych meds and couldn’t work, drive, or have a relationship…they quit and are now married, working, and driving, happily…
Why is it that you only list two options: Taking medications or quitting them? Why not consider asking your psychiatrist about a dose reduction or medication change?
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i think the question you need to ask yourself is whether you are mentally prepared. when i say prepared i mean, what will you do if this happens or what if that happens, if you have the voices under control etc.
ive been off meds for around a year, so it can be done but dont go into it thinking ‘f*ck meds’, you need to go into it like, ‘okay im going off meds but if i feel i need to go back on them, then i will’ mentality. then you need to ask yourself if you will be able to acknowledge the fact you need to go back on meds if you feel like you will relapse and end up in hospital.
yea weening off meds is probably the best way to go, i went off mine cold turkey and it was okay for first couple of days, but then it hit me in the face with a ton of bricks, next 2-3 weeks were a struggle but i forced myself out of it…errm i guess i wouldnt recommend it.
but i think its only something you should consider after you sort out/ come to terms with about the ‘messed up inside’ part first? idk
I agree with others on here that stopping cold turkey is probably not in your best interest. If you feel the medications are not helping that’s something to discuss with your pdoc. They can then fix your prescription, or even gradually take you off the medication.
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Against all advice I’m off them 2 days now, keeping on the anti-Depressant tho for now, I need my voices back as lunatic as it sounds, I don’t feel like me, that’s the only me I know. It’s been me as long back as I can remember, I don’t know, I may go back on meds if I feel myself slipping. I may restart them soon here depending on what I see this next day or so here…
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because thats like asking the world to stop turning. They never want to reduce dosage. Just read the posts here, all Pdocs want as much medicine as possible in you. Never mind the side effects. Its a game of russian roulette, can you tolerate the drugs or not. Doesnt necesarrily mean your a better person just because you tolerate the meds better,
Not true. I’ve lost count of how many times psychiatrists have reduced my dose.
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What exactly is the drama?
What do you mean run off? Take off from your roots? If so, I ask that you never run off. I was a homeless kid and teen; I ran off. I have never been homeless as an adult but I have taken off. Horrible things such as rape happen. My life is not as fascinating as someone I admire. Her story may or may not move you. I know there is nothing dramatic about her trials.
Let me know what you think of Margie Profet if you read the article.
The Mysterious Case of the Vanishing Genius
“Margie Profet generated solutions to seemingly intractable puzzles of biology. Then she disappeared.”
I wanted to add, Ms. Profet was found. I always forget this fact is not in the first article.
http://weeklyscientist.blogspot.com/2009/07/margie-profets-unfinished-symphony.html
I consider me being SZ drama, I hate putting it on or around people (family) therefore I think of taking myself out of the picture as alleviating the drama. I have taken off, the last psychosis I went in, in dec the cops 5150 me bare foot about to jump from the bridge into the freeway. I hate being a problem in anyone’s life like this. That’s why I so absolutely want to get better. So I’m not some source of drama for anyone…I hate letting them down, I’m hard on myself about all of it
No one with SZ is some source of drama. When I isolated myself and became harmed because of that isolation & homelessness, I never used the word drama—I attacked myself with self-hate.
In time because of awesome compassionate folks, people I’ve met and others through books, who have challenged me to not hate myself by beginning to love what is in me that they love and respect, I stopped the self-hate.
Your posts show that you are thoughtful and expect intellectual challenges.
Instead of using SZ as an example I will try to use those who were rescued from sex slavery. As you know, they have every reason in the world to want to isolate themselves and not trust anyone, and some may feel that they are the problem. Their blogs show that they have been supported and have or are recovering but there is always that bit of uneasiness at times that suggest they feel vulnerable. Still they snap out of it and allow others to love them and they continue to love themselves.
I work in the nursing/medical field. I have seen numerous nurses escorted off Residential Long Term Homes by police as they were investigated to have stolen medications from the residents. My point about this fact is that these nurses are the one’s with problems that drain folks. With searches online, I can list examples from other professions and subcultures in society.
I hope some folks come into your life who lift you up and reach out to you when you are down.
I have been off the meds for about 18 years.
Thus I have no side effects to deal with.
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What are things like otherwise?