Something has changed

I quit taking my meds about 4½ months ago and told my psychiatric team to shove it. I was diagnosed about 10 years ago (schizophrenia).
I have talked to my team a few times, as of 2-3 weeks ago.
They seem to feel it is better for me to take no meds at all, than for me to take Latuda which is new in Sweden (came out in August). I have taken most meds available here (and even one that is not).
They have yet to ask how I am doing.
Each day is worse than the last.
I called the psychiatric team again today and asked if someone could call me back. No one has called yet. I need meds.
For about 3 months, I was extremely active, but something has changed.
I have trouble forming sentences. My thoughts are slurring.
Before, I could watch short clips on Youtube (and such). Now, sound feels like razers cutting through my brain. Sometimes even speach.
I can’t even play World of Warcraft (which has been my main hobby since its release).
Leaving my home (which I have done 1-2 times in the past 2 weeks) makes me hyperventilate. My heart starts pounding. Everything starts lagging.
The voices have gone from being muffled, to being very clear. A reporter is reporting on all of my actions.
I am having a very hard time reading (more than usual). My brain weeds out letters and deems them irrelevant. I keep trying, but it is hard(er than usual to focus).
I get lost in my own sentences. I know the topic, and I know I am not speaking, but my brain doesn’t seem to know what I am trying to say. What words am I looking for?
The world seems unreal. The words out of my mouth, my voice, seem unreal.
What is happening? It feels like I am living in a different world than everyone else.
I don’t feel there is anyone to talk to. Also, I don’t feel like talking about it that often.
I stare in to the wall more often. Everything is empty. Why live? It seems pointless.
My brain feels like syrup, yet my thoughts pass by far too fast, both at the same time.
Are my movements like syrup? I don’t know.
I have Nozinan (neuroleptic, not available in the US) that helps me sleep. No benzo or non-benzo has helped since I quit taking my meds, except Nozinan. Without it, I don’t sleep.
Seems it took me about 1½ hours to write this. sigh

I hope they call you back soon. I hope you get back on another med soon too as it sounds like you need meds, sorry.

you might just go to your clinic and say you need help? I’m sorry you are going through this.

I’m not sure what you mean.
I really can’t leave my house. I am at my boyfriends place since I quit taking my meds because I haven’t been able to do the most basic things. The biggest problem with that is that he lives 2 hours away from my clinic and I don’t see how getting there would be possible. Also, they don’t really have a walk-in.

Thanks for the advice @jukebox

They didn’t call…

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Thanks for the support.

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This post is relatable.

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Could your BF call for you on your behalf and advocate? He may be able to let them know the urgency of the situation, with you standing nearby if they need to speak to you. Or perhaps you should call them back yourself? Keep us updated on how you are doing if you want to and can.

He has to work during the day.
He could call the helpline for my clinic after hours I guess, but I don’t want him to know the extent of my problems. He will just worry more than he already does.
I have problems talking to anyone “real” about this kind of stuff. Forums work for me, because you all are not real to me. You are only words on a screen. No offense.
The pdoc hasn’t called yet, and they go home for the day in like 3 hours.
I will call tomorrow.

I called again today. The nurse agreed that this was urgent and said she was going to inform the pdoc asap.
I think they have gone home for the day. No one has called.
Maybe I should call the emergency number this evening? I don’t know what to do. Speech hurts my brain.

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You should get your boyfriend to take you to an emergency room.



If I haven’t gotten a neuroleptic by monday, I will.
That, and report them to the Health and Social Care Inspectorate.


Good! :slight_smile:

They didn’t call today either…
Going to call them tomorrow to warn them of my plan to file an official complaint about them if I don’t have a prescription by the end of day Monday.

I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I know it is hard because I’ve gone through it before. It wasn’t as bad but it was still painful and frustrating. I suggest you get to an emergency room asap (call an ambulance if you have to) and let them know your suicidal. They will keep you for a few days (or however long you need to stay) and get you stabilized on some meds that will help you. I hope you feel better.

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Thank you for your kind words.

I do have to add that I am not suicidal. I see no point in living, but I am not going to actively going to do anything to kill or hurt myself. Been there, done that. No, it’s not like that now. I just feel… blank.

One pdoc once said that my I had chronic suicidal thoughts. That is probably true, as I think about suicide every day, and have been since I was 11 or 12 (I think. Might have been earlier).

I used to be on nozinan too.

I see you are from Sweden like me.
I’ve moved overseas though.

Good you have people to talk to n your bf support.

I’ve also felt similar to what you describe.

Hope you feel better soon.

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Your post is very coherent, even if it did take a long time to write. I was on Latuda for a very short while. I was angry the whole time I was on it, but that could have been due to withdrawal from Geodon and Seroquel. I decided that Geodon and Seroquel were doing me good, so I would stick with them. These drugs have been a Godsend to me. Some people find Seroquel too sedating, but I can’t really tell I’m taking it.

Called them again today.
The nurse said she was going to tag my case as urgent and also personally see to it that the doc will call me back. If not today, then Monday. I really hope today.

The nurse called me back.
The doc gave me an appointment for November 8.
I said I couldn’t wait that long. The nurse said the same thing to the doc, to which the doc answered that I should call the emergency hotline then.
I don’t get why the doc couldn’t have said so 3 weeks ago.


please ring the emergency hotline or go to the emergency room. You shouldn’t have to live with these symptoms.

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