Confession from a dark master

i do wish sometimes i was normal…
though yes there is no ’ normal '…but you know what i mean.
no ocd
no ptsd
no depression
no sz
no psychosis
no tiredness
no paranoia
no voices…although i at least get the good ones now, the bad ones are quiet.
no forgetting what i am supposed to be doing

i see people who are reasonably normal and i wonder what it must be like to get up in the morning and not have an alien behind you…or demons screaming in your face…
life must be pretty simple for them, without all this clutter in their heads…
another musing from dark sith.
take care

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ever why one never says or dose and still it ant enough.

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They take it for granted. And create their own kind of busy-ness.

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One of my voices, Father, said that we have to face some unique challenges in life.

Everyone has their own kind of demons to deal with. Ours are just a bit more…literal.

I hope you feel better soon.

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I sometimes sit and wonder too, what must that be like?
hmmm. gues I will never know.

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Maybe if you took some meds…

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when i stop hearing voices for a long time it at first is almost distressing for me because my head is so quiet, i keep looking for them but they dont say anything not even a whisper. I had to adjust to a lower level of noise

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right there with you.

My head is vastly more quiet then it has been… it’s been throwing me off balance. Not sure how to get used to this… But I guess I have to get used to it… because the voices are fading.

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Sorry you are going through a tough patch. I hope it gets better for you soon and I look forward to seeing more of your ‘normal’ positive postings. :purple_heart:

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I am beginning to wonder dark sith…you aren’t on meds and you can differentiate between reality and delusion…makes me think you are pulling our legs about you being schizophrenic. I didn’t know what I believed wasn’t true.

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I’ve gotten a lot of inspiration from you @darksith. I’m glad you’ve got a strong support in your wife who helps you through your day…

Congratulations for all the hard work in CBT and therapy… your ability to embrace peace despite your past… has encouraged me to let go of my past pain and anger.

When I was wondering about going med free, you turned me onto some more holistic ideas such as hypnotherapy.

I find it didn’t work for me… but I was willing to try.

I’ve met some people who can go med free… I’m not one of them… but I’m living here in a different place, and a different pace.

Peace be with us all… we’re all on this earth together.

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Humour interlude:

“Same Sith, different day?”

[wink] … [nudge]

Feel better, meng.

10-96

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i have been doing this ’ sz dance ’ since probably 2 years old…i was sexually , emotionally and physically abused by my parents…i was paranoid at 5 seeing things at 7 and 9.
my parents did not care about my odd behaviour…so i thought everyone saw the same things as me, no one told me different, so i taught myself coping mechanisms at an early age.
i was properly diagnosed as paranoid sz at 26, did meds for about 6 months, my shrink was adamant to have me locked up, mrs. sith fought to keep me out of the mental institution and she also took me off the medication…then she began to research alternative ways to help me.
at 46 i finally got some help, my shrinks did not recommend me going on meds as they felt i would loose the coping mechanisms i have taught myself over the decades.
i taught myself not to fear what i heard and saw.
to accept it.
my parents were pure evil they were way scarier than anything i have ever seen or heard…
@jukebox i found what you said offensive…i have been through unimaginable hell compared to most sz…
choose your words carefully.
be compassionate.
be supportive.
be kind.
as i will and have been to you.
take care

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offensive or not…I don’t believe “you have coping mechanisms” either that you don’t have true schizophrenia and maybe some aspect of mentally ill. I have schizophrenia and I find it offensive that you make so many happy with your charming posts about wookies and dark siths…schizophrenia without meds doesn’t make for a charming person as you so seemingly are…

be carefull juke box you are on thin ice…why so mean.
take care

screw you and your threats…if you can’t take the heat stay out of the kitchen. I’m not afraid of you. I don’t believe you.

oh but you are afraid…lol.
take care

I do. I was doing my own version of CBT before it was actually called that. Something I figured out on my own because the majority of the meds weren’t doing nearly enough. My current pdoc attributes this to my ability to function on a very low does of APs.

10-96

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maybe you should come off your meds too and join darksith @velociraptor

Wow!I’m amazed that society has such a misguided view of mental illness and now we are attacking people on here!Every person and situation is unique.I know it’s possible to change your own thought processes and how you respond to life-seen it myself.@darksith-there are many things you say that echo my son’s story and what he’s been telling me for years.Many have doubted him also,but I know the truth as I walk it with him.Maybe you should write a book!I desperately want my son to be healthy without all the meds.I’m prepared to accept the reality that this may not be possible.I would also do anything to help him achieve a drug-free future if it were possible.

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