Should I have a baby?

I don’t know what to do. I’ve just turned 37 and I’ve always wanted a baby. Well I wanted a family but I’m single.

I’ve been in hospital 5 times between age of 26 and 35. I’ve been stable for two years but ideally would like to be stable a long time before having a baby.

What would you do if you were me? Try now with sperma donor? Freeze eggs and do it much later? Wait year or two?


I think you should discuss it at length with both your pdoc and a therapist before you make a decision


What is your support network? Who cares for the child if you are unstable or hospitalized?


If it was me, I would wait another year, people do have babies even in their forties but you want to make sure you have got optimum energy for looking after the baby. That is just my suggestion, most importantly it is about you feeling prepared for all scenarios like @ozymandias says.

I think 3 years is a better amount of time to wait. personally.

and it is so important that you really discuss it a lot with your professional team like @CoCo says, because they may have some really good points that are essential, if you have not already.

Happy belated birthday :smiley:


My whole life I didn’t want to get married and have kids. I got pregnant and I lost the pregnancy because it was ectopic and I was devastated. I changed my mind. The man I was living with decided he didn’t want more kids (he already had 2) and I left him because of it. I then went about sleeping around until I got pregnant and went back to him. I was 30. 2 1/2 years later our son was born. But me and the father went our separate ways. I was much older than the other mothers in baby groups we attended, and I was always the oldest parent at back to school night. I had some wisdom but less energy. It takes a lot of energy to raise a family, especially on your own. No matter how hard you think it might be, times it by 10. And then ask yourself can I do it? There’s a little life counting on you to be the grown up.


I second this that’s solid advice


I could never do it. I want my tubes tied.

I won’t put a child at risk genetically. I won’t put a child at risk of my episodes wake.

My bloodline dies with me…


I have a good family network.

I’d really like to know chances of conception by age.

Has your family network said they’re okay with permanently raising a kid if you go sideways hard and don’t come back? Romantic notions of motherhood aside, are you prepared for the additional stress? It’s really something. Couldn’t have handled it myself if I hadn’t had my NT wife backing me up - it would have broken me. Having someone to help carry that load is critical, I’ve seen it break normie parents who do it on their own.


Maybe get a cerificate in early childhood education or whatever your regional equivalent to babysitting is and care for children as your job. Personally I dont want children and never have except for a curiosity of what would be.

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I might freeze my eggs. I have to give up smoking for three months and I’m fi finding it tough.

Really feeling the clock ticking.

Why not adopt a baby or a kid?


Can you really pull off having a baby within 3 years of reaching 40? Once you reached 41, 42 or even 43 you know that conceiving a baby is over for you.

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Have an urge to have biological child.

More and more women are conceiving babies in their 40s now. It actually is still possible, even naturally.

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Yeah, I agree, it is definitely possible to have a child in your 40’s. My ex brother in law just had a child with his second wife and she was 45 or 46.

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True, some women do conceive babies in their 40’s but how many attempts were made to fertilize a woman’s egg. If you look at the bell-shaped curve below, you can see women usually do not have their baby in their 40’s.


The bell-shaped curve illustrates that the majority of women have their child(ren) in their late 20’s or early 30’s.

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If I freeze eggs I have more of a chance of having them in my forties.

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