I have almost finished college, but when I try to continue I get so stressed out and can’t focus. People expect that I should be able to do something. This pressure can lead me to try to do writing, entrepreneurship, and college work, but really the thing I just want most is to just relax for a million years, get away from the chaos in my mind and this world. I really want to start a business, or finish writing a book, or finish college but would I recover faster if I just relaxed? What kind of life am I supposed to live? What is a life with no job, no purpose, no mission, no real friends or relationships? I have real serious problems with depression that it affects my ability to study and learn. I got evaluated for learning disability, it must have been really bad because they would not make any conclusions besides I was too depressed to make a conclusion. I know I am usually the last person to finish a test. I can not keep up the pace with others, everyone talks too fast and I think too slow.
I don’t know if I can just survive for no reason. What can I do?
Try to remain calm finish college, and then take a break for a while. Then slowly try all those things mentioned in above posting.
I agree. Keep calm. Finish college. Then see how things are.
In your shoes, I would probably finish college, just power through it, and then do some cushy part-time remote work from home with the degree.
Finish college if at all possible and get a job. I thought I wanted time off growing up but when I finally got it because of schizophrenia it was one of the hardest times in my life because I had no purpose other than Christianity and no direction and no hope for anything to get better until after I died. I had nightmares every night of being eaten alive by dinosaurs and it felt so painful so I dreaded going to sleep at night.
You can change those. With this disease we have to sacrifice and compromise a lot but we can still have friends, jobs, etc. Don’t compare your life to others, AA told me: “Don’t compare your insides to other peoples outsides”. Focus on your own strengths (and consider your weaknesses) and then pick something to do. We still have choices even though we are schizophrenic. If you come on this site a lot you will see people accomplishing all kinds of great stuff. You can’t have it all but you can sure get something out of life.
I attended community college for years. That worked well for me back then. But now I only need 5 more classes for AA degree and online classes are the best thing for me now.
Please don’t give up until you graduate… You don’t have to achieve a lot but don’t give up. The reason I’m alive now was persistence and it was the critical thing which made me overcome my illness. My therapist asked me what was your motivation and I couldn’t think of, but it really helped me…And when people’s standard is too high, You need to be aware of you’re sick …!
It sounds like you’re really close to getting this over the line. You will regret it if you give up so close to finishing. I was in the same position a few years ago. I don’t know how I did it, but one last burst of work and I managed to complete it.
You will need to navigate your way through this. It isn’t easy, however step-by-step you can achieve these things, just try not to think about it all at once. You’re asking a lot of big questions - but they are valid.
You can make your own life, even if others don’t stick by you. Eventually I hope you will find value in your college studies and find a job. After I finished college, I was unemployed for 6 months and claiming disability, but then I started working as a temp two days a week, now I work four days and been there for 5 years… With the right meds, you can cope with it, but it is hard sometimes.
Don’t give up on college.
I agree with everyone saying to go ahead and get your degree, if you think you can do it. Speaking from experience, it’s very hard to go back once you’ve stopped (but it can be done).
The rest of it - that’s a life’s work. Find a mission, friends, a life that’s meaningful for you. It’d be shocking if you had that figured out already. Take time once you’ve graduated to get your bearings, and then start trying those things out, one by one.
As others said. Keep going till you graduate. You can overcome the internal resistance with enough effort. Just keep trying and you will eventually succeed 
don’t give up on your future ether. Taking a break to sort that stuff out after college can help
I think I went into psychotic depression sort of after I dropped out. I was never diagnosed though. Funny fact is I scored higher for psychotic depression than schizophrenia at one point, but clinically I have schizophrenia.
Hey! I’m a college student in break. I wrote a post like this before to a member who was talking about college. So I wanted to write this for you again.
First of all, I want to give you lots of praise for enduring all of your college years so far. College is fast- and I understand your viewpoint completely. In a university I studied (and will study in August of 2019), I would enter into classes in September, but in October, the professor said to me: “We will have two midterms!” And I said to myself, what? Already? Why? So it went so fast, and some professors didn’t even want to accommodate me. They told me that I was too slow, or I was too lazy, and etc.
I study a liberal arts degree in English. So, I often get doubts about my degree because everyone would tell me that I will not get a job. I was confused at my path, too. I was so down, so low, and I didn’t want to do anything. My grades fell when I first started using a wheelchair, and my parents told me that I will not get a job because I was disabled. I would be hospitalized here and there, and I would be admitted in the hospital because of a psychotic episode. I couldn’t bear the weight of school.
But, with the help of my friends and family, I was able to make it through, and I was able to finish my 3 years with a decent grade. I think you could do it, too. I know that you have a lot of potential inside you, and a lot of talents and strength. Margaret Atwood writes in her poetry book, Morning In the Burned House, about living in a burned house that was like a representation of her dying soul. I thought I was living in a burned house, too. I didn’t know what I could to survive this darkness. I think you will be okay- keep breathing, keep walking, and don’t give up. There are a lot of greatness that waits upon you.
If you want, you can take a break like me for a year or two. Backing a year or two doesn’t mean that you are failing at your life, and your life is a failure in entirety. When you come back, or if you choose not to rest, you can build a support system. I found that having a support worker at school was helpful. I have a support worker, a case worker, a social worker, and a psychologist as a team. My support worker handles all of my exam schedules- for example, when I take a test, I sign up with her and she assigns the desk, the seat, and the exam papers. If I feel too ill or if I end up in the hospital due to a psychotic episode, I can bring the excuse note to her from the emerge doctor, which she processes for me. My case worker handles all of my accommodations, e.g. extra time on assignments, and my psychologist checks up on me every month and follows my path to finish my degree. I think almost every university or college have this system, so you could book an appointment with them. If you want me to take a look at your university’s system, I can do that too.
Also, you can make a support system by signing up with an organization. I was able to go to a support group with like-minded individuals who had schizophrenia. It was really helpful because it helped me to know that I was not alone. I would also join clubs with English majors who helped me to write and read. (I have a disability that doesn’t allow me to read properly) I think other students with the same major (and even different) would love to work with you.
I find that highlighters, pens, schedulers, and other organizing items help when you are studying for classes. Also, I think having a reference book would be handy. Some profs have electronic versions of textbooks so you can access those if you need.
Woah. That was a long post. I hope you are doing well, and if you need, message me anytime!
Sending you love.
believe it or not
these are the best years of your life
take it from experience
good luck on making those accomplishments
You should just chill out and hope you get some inspiration . Do something you enjoy
You are in college - well done! I couldn’t even make it there as my sza came straight after high school. Good luck and don’t give up. One day at a time. Life is a cycle of ups and downs. Eventually the clouds clear up. Enjoy the simple pleasures in life and strive further but don’t be too hard on yourself.
Gosh I need to listen to this too! 
some days it can be really hard but I’m climbing out of the pit, rising after a fall, trying to get back into my art again. It’s hard when lack of motivation strikes!
Hope all goes well for you!
I am actually 28 and stopped college in 2010 after psychotic break due to the pressures of passing the classes. it is nice in theory but is it worth the risk of another break. Also ideally i could get credits without the pressure of studying and passing exams in an unreasonable amount of time. Maybe if there was a school that catered to people with sz.
There is some measure of success for people like us in remaining stable on our med’s, but I realize you’re not satisfied with that, which is commendable. Just make sure you’re not using your goals to torment yourself. It’s good to have things to look forward to. It makes a person’s life better. But it is also a two edged sword that can cut both ways. Try not to obsess. Find a worthwhile goal and pursue it, but don’t think you’re a loser if you get distracted.
I know John Nash had some success but he had a lot of support. Is there any sz people who were successful at writing or business?