Life goes on

A psychotic break has set me back. I have dreams that I’m still in high school and they are awesome. Every part of me wants to go back and start again. There are some things that you just don’t get a second chance at. Like college. My GPA is seriously ■■■■■■. I’m just here to strike up a conversation so maybe this day won’t pass by so hellishly slow. Got to meet with my new therapist lady here in about a half hour. Their lack of insight into my condition is just proof that there is no telepathy. IOP has been kind of nice. A solid three hour block of information and activities really gives me a break from the psychosis. I no longer believe I’m schizophrenic even though I’ve been diagnosed. I just have schizophrenia like symptoms no delusions or any of that nonsense. So how is your day going, I’d love to find out.

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Going bad as usual, i think id rather just die but no one gives you a good way to do that as usual. Do i really need to slash an artery or risk screwing myself up from pills that aren’t even good to kill me?

You don’t need to feel bad for the whole college thing, the large majority never had a chance whatsoever. Your grades must be astounding and you must also be prepared to be bent over and take it hard, like brainwashingly hard with no questions asked kind of hard.

I used to feel bad for not having gone to school but then i realized that almost none will ever get the chance, we have 600 million in this country and seven billion world wide, how many seats are available in these damn things anyway?

Alot of people that would have done great will just never get the chance.

But even that does not matter because all that people ever needed was to work collectively, not everyone is needed for school, if everyone went then everyone would just drop dead in a very short amount of time, no one would be fed or housed, none of it would get done like everyone really needs it to.

But there is no hell right? I beg to differ my friend, can i call you my friend? I really must differ on this whole hell thing because we are obviously there right now.

Yeah man we can be friends. You’re a bit of pessimist but I do share a lot of your views at least part time. ■■■■ schizophrenia man.

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Don’t obsess about the GPA - many people have GPA hiccups - and you can recover and do well.

I encourage you to check this out:

Stay positive - keep at it. And you’ll move towards your goals.


Good luck Bryan-you will be doing better soon!

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Got to go see my psychiatrist in a few hours kinda nervous because I haven’t been out in public lately. Ups and down moods throughout the day. It’s quite hard to do things with the negative symptoms of schizo. I ordered a ecig thing with juice and kind of excited for that. I have high school dreams as well and its a awesome feeling when dreaming, though not worth to going back in time. Taking 2 online courses for college and procrastinating but believing I will get by fine. Hope everythings going well for you.

Thanks man, yeah I don’t quite have the confidence or wherewithal for school yet but I foresee some more college in my future. First is getting a job and getting used to that and then maybe some online courses or maybe getting enrolled at our local university.

hello bryan. it’s soooo nice to see u kicking schizophrenia’s arse! ull be just fine. get a job, see how u handle it and then go back to college. u have ur whole life ahead of u. there’s no rush to get things done. just coast along at ur own pace and ull get there eventually. some of the worst failures i’ve had in my life have now turned into opportunities. and failure is exactly that, an opportunity for better things. never b afraid to fail. so happy for u xxx