My mom has been texting me every day since August 2007 when I first got a cell phone. Back then she would just text me all night until I went to bed because she had to work but earlier this year like in or around March she quit her jobs and started texting me all day every day. I can’t take it anymore. I just can’t fcking take it anymore. She even texts me when she’s at work. I need time to do things I want to do and that I need to do like go to Assertive Community Treatment but she still keeps texting me when I’m there a few times a week. @anon4362788 told me I deserve peace and I agree with her. It drives me fcking crazy that my phone keeps dinging all day every day from endless texts from my mom. She asks me endless questions every day and she asks me the same questions every day. When I was growing up she never talked to me or spent time with me so I don’t know why she wants to text me all the time. She also has mental illness according to my dad and she jumps to conclusions repeatedly. She keeps thinking I’m mad at her and that I’m grumpy and has thought that for years even though I keep telling her I’m not mad or grumpy and she just asked me if I’m mad at her again. She kept telling lies about my dad and stepmom who I live with and said things like they’re turning me against her and they don’t want me texting her because I tried to set up a boundary and tell her I won’t be texting her at certain times but she still keeps on texting me anyway. I tried putting my phone on Do Not Disturb but her texts keep coming through anyway. I don’t know what else to do and I think the only option is to block her because I already told her twice I don’t have anything to talk about and she still keeps bugging me all the time. What do you guys think? I don’t want to have to block her but I need peace in my life and time to do things I want to do which I haven’t had all year because she keeps texting me all day every day and always expects me to text her back right away.
I know you’ve probably tried this, but my suggestion would be to say you’re too busy to reply some times and ignore the texts sometimes. Maybes she trying to make up for lost time, but I know it’s irritating. Also all do not disturb does is stop you getting the notification, it won’t stop the text!
It’s a sad situation because your Mom sounds very ill but I think that you really should block her at this point.
You need to live in a low stress atmosphere because of your mental illness.
Maybe you can write to her once in a while just to see if she’s ok.
Block her. I agree with the others who say you have to put your mental health first, and it is so clear from your post that you are very stressed, very frustrated, and worn out.
You’ve been putting up with this for almost 15 years, and clearly she doesn’t respect your boundaries. It’s enough. You don’t deserve to be manipulated.
You may feel guilty, but I don’t think you need to.
Thanks @Pandy! I’m definitely frustrated that she doesn’t respect my boundaries. I have things I need to do and I just can’t keep texting her all the time. I need time for self care too because I still need to recover from SZA bipolar type.
It’s not good to block our parents but sometimes idk… in my experience sometimes people try to exert too much control over your life just because they have the power to with forced hospitalization etc. For that reason I personally blocked my parents but I know it’s probably wrong.
Just because she texts you, doesn’t mean that you owe her a response.
One idea might be to start by setting a boundary with her first (I can text with you between 7-9pm at night) and then ignoring her texts the rest of the time. She’s going to blow up your phone when you do that, but let her blow up your phone and don’t respond outside of the window of time that you gave her.
If she doesn’t settle down or freaks out, you can block her. You’re not her hostage. It’s not okay for anyone - parent, significant other, friends, anyone - to assume that they have the right to be in contact with you all day every day. If she’s in a place where you know that, no matter what you do, she’s going to keep going, then yeah, blocking her might be your best option. It’s not helping her get better to keep engaging in this with her. But easier said than done, I know, especially when it’s someone who you actually would like to have a relationship with, just a healthy one.
She already got really upset with me when I tried to set boundaries with her before and she didn’t respect my boundaries. She still kept texting me all the time and I told her the days I have to meet with my mental health team and she still kept texting me when I was meeting with them.