Schizophrenic Guys: Once your dating "love interest" knows your are schizophrenic, say good-bye

Okay, how’s this. Do you believe that 1 to 3 women of whom know you would “gossip” about you behind your back and discuss whatever “goods” they have on you? And when I refer to “goods” I mean your schizophrenia.

I mean if a woman told me she had parkinsons i would not dump her, its the same for us…i know what you mean thought. There is a stigma but i think it’s improtant we help dispell those mistruths. I think scizophrnic voices can lower our self confidence sometimes…but i think we should be proud of who we are.

Sometimes people will put us down but it doesnt change the fact thay were important and special, and good women/men will see that. Any one who is ignorant of that perhaps you could inform them about what schizophrnia really is qnd help them get past the stigma

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Well, the stigma is somewhat true for the minority of those who have schizophrenia where we act crazy when in a psychotic state. I agree that schizophrenia does lower self-confidence in one’s self since this disease does hinder a person’s ability to have a “normal” life. Schizophrenia is not a disease to be proud of my friend. Those health professionals who know what schizophrenia is such as psychiatrists and psychiatric nurses feel sorry for us in what we go through. We don’t really know what we go through until our actions or past events have been reflected upon.

We are not important or special as majority of schizophrenics do think of this delusion of grandeur. If schizophrenics can be seen for their kind actions and behavior then perhaps good men/women will see that. Informing those around us about what schizophrenia is is a good idea actually. I might try doing that.

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It’s a great attitude to have that you are special, but I don’t think that that changes the stigma attached to SZ.

I remember that my mom and dad had a schizophrenic friend before I was diagnosed. He was a little strange and said some bizarre things, including some violent things. I remember my mom telling me once that he said something to the effect of “I could kill you with my hands”. Anyway, I always thought he had the potential to flip and hurt people because of his schizophrenia. Even me, someone destined to get schizophrenia remembers what my view of schizophrenics used to be prior to being diagnosed. And it was not a positive one. It was one of potential violence. Not everyone has these views. Like I said, my parents were friends with a sz as an example, but a great many do.

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I should say that the image of schizophrenia has probably progressed in a more positive direction since I held those views on that particular individual though.

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Yea there definately is a stigma your right. I just tend to think its a blessing in disguise in many ways. Theres a silver lining because all difficulty builds character and i think different difficulties build different characteristics. Thats why i think schizophrnics are special, along side the fact thay i do think we share a certain genotype… thanks for your comment! Hope youre doing well @Bowens and @yinyang

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@yinyang Also my mom told me im special so it must be true :smile: im sure yours did too :grin:

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Bang on! That’s my attitude. That’s why my Bumble profile starts out with “I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2004…”. I’ve been told that’s a bad idea but I disagree big time. Just as @yinyang said when they find out later on down the road they cut you off, then you just wasted weeks, months or years getting to know them. I’ve met some women on Bumble doing it the way I want and they treat me well, they gave me their numbers (I didn’t ask) and we hang out and do stuff all the time. They knew what they were getting into before hand, in fact in a few cases they said they admired my honesty, self love and thought I could relate to them because one of them has a rare health condition.

I’ve even told most of them all about my psychosis, meds, hospital stays and they still talk with me. Blew away my expectations, when I signed up with bumble I thought it would be a waste of time and money but thought I’d give it a try.

No one suspects I have it, but I’ve disclosed it to a large number of people. Results are not always good but it is what it is. Except work, I don’t want nor need special treatment and I see no benefit in telling them. In fact even with schizophrenia I was #1 at work.

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I usually tell girls my diagnoses but it doesn’t work. I’m excited :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: :laughing: to reveal my new diagnosis’s to the next girl I run into. I think they’ll be more understanding of trauma, anxiety, and disassociation than schizoaffective. That word scares them.

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IMO …

Knowing my condition and if I had a daughter will i let here go with a sz’nic ?

So this not the fault of women not understanding, its the stigma behind it.

I feel once they get to know you, who you are, not the definition of sz, they will see you.

Its like gifting her a shades and look at me thought that alone, but not a true self.

I have informed my issues and none accept or understand.

Keeping it simple like:

KISS- Know I’ve Sz Secrets.

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One obvious problem is for her to understand what you are going through she just about has to be as messed up as you are. Genetically that’s a potential disaster. I have noticed that just about all the women who were interested in me had mental illness too. One thing that surprised me is that a number of women checked me out during the pandemic. When they found out I was still in pathetic shape they lost interest quickly. They also generally revealed their own illnesses.

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All the women ive been with have always had some form of mental illness, so im not judged. The fact we are both crazy means it usually ends in disaster anyway.

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None of the last three punted me over SZ or my revealing I was also a recovering alcoholic (around six years sober at the time). I dumped the first two as they were crazier than I am. Married the third and am still married to her. I have several other friends who married someone after revealing SZ to them. All are extremely high-functioning, of course.

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Thats the catch :stuck_out_tongue:

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I think some cultures care less about mental illness and care more about your actual functioning lvl. Maybe find a women among those.

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Most women are looking for someone to do things with, not for.

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@yinyang

I wouldn’t tell your date that you have schizophrenia until the second or third date. This will give you an opportunity to, hopefully, shatter some stereotypes regarding schizophrenia, and it won’t waste too much of your time and her time if you having schizophrenia is a deal breaker.

When you tell her you have schizophrenia, I would say something like this:

“I was diagnosed with schizophrenia a few years ago. It’s a genetic disorder, so even though I didn’t bring it upon myself it has had a significant negative impact on my self-esteem, to the point where I’ve been ashamed to tell anyone I have the disorder including myself.”

“I’m no longer ashamed to talk about having schizophrenia, and I see that as a sign of strength not weakness. I see a doctor and take medication. I work a full-time job and take care of all of my responsibilities.”

“I didn’t tell you right away because I wanted you to see me as a person, not an illness. I hope that we can continue dating.”

At that point I would let her speak next.

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Yeah its more about functionality than labels. Truth is would you want to date someone that does nothing all day everyday? Probably not.

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Honestly homie, your perspective on life could be causing them to leave. We can go back to that thread where you said someone deserved to die. If you don’t value life for anything more than someone’s ability to produce, you won’t find someone that values you for more than your ability to produce. What you put out you get back. I’m not telling you to go against your true nature, because I think our true nature is generally more in alignment with the natural balance of things, but I am saying that you are going to have issues meeting a girl that sees your worth as more than the material you can offer when you don’t see other humans as being worth more than the material they can offer. I don’t want to get suspended again but that is my honest take on the situation.

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