Hey guys , as above, thoughts?
3 Likes
Well… I have two mindsets with this…
First is, you should be able to tell them up front, because they will find out eventually.
Second is, you could simply chose not to reveal it until they know you, and know what to expect from you/who you are.
I kind of go back and forward between stances. I feel like maybe the second one is gonna attract more women to your life, but also isn’t fall proof.
Third option, if you live a normal lifestyle (with work etc) I wouldn’t even bother telling them tbh. They aren’t going to understand. But if you aren’t working full time they will inevitably want to know your justification.
2 Likes
Would you like to know if the tables were turned? I would and for that reason I always tell them, but to be honest the vast majority of the time it doesn’t turn out well. You’ll probably have to tell them at some point anyways, but in my experience women don’t like it.
I can talk with women, they flirt with me, everything is going good, I joke around and make them laugh, I’ve been told I’m smart and cute and all the rest of it but when I tell them I have schizophrenia they run away (figuratively speaking) and I never hear from them again.
If you tell women very quickly they’ll think why bother even getting to know this guy he has schizophrenia. If you wait a month or two they might get angry because you were not honest with them up front before they started developing feelings for you and feel betrayed and lied too.
There are women out there that won’t care but they are in the minority.
At the end of the day it’s a roll of the dice, It might work out and it might not, but you can’t hide it forever.
Don’t tell.
I didn’t tell my husband until I had to,
We were engaged by then.
You don’t have to disclose your diagnosis to anyone.
2 Likes
I’m glad that worked out for you but I think the dynamics are different for men and women. This board has many women with partners and many men that are single. Not just that but talking with other guys about their experiences, and my own experiences, it seems like women are more bothered about their partner having schizophrenia, whereas for men it’s not as big of a deal for them…Some women don’t care and some men do care, but that seems to be the exception to the rule.
Even without schizophrenia, just in the general population. it’s far more common to find men that cannot get a woman, and far more rare to find a woman that cannot find a man. Think of the whole incel crowd, they are almost exclusively men, women don’t have that problem…
1 Like
I think there is a sweet spot where they’re invested in you enough to not get scared off. Maybe it’s by the third date, maybe it’s by the third month.
Telling before they get a chance to know you for yourself rather than a diagnosis probably isn’t the best. I also think it would suck to wait 6 months just to find out it is a deal breaker for them.
Also, I’ve learned never to just blatantly say the sz/sza words without working my way up to it. Start off saying you have a mental health issue or something less alarming. Stigma is real, even within the mental health community.
1 Like
Tell them after a long marriage when youre on your deathbed.
1 Like
This topic was automatically closed 14 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.