My first persecutory delusion was when I was working. I thought my boss hated me and was messing with me, trying to get me to step down to part time.
I considered him a friend before that, as did he. We would talk about the latest and greatest in phone/pc/tablet technology and crack jokes and stuff. Then I started getting the sense that he really disliked me and that turned to thinking he hated me. Every time he walked by, I could feel his hatred.
Then I got the sense that he wanted to fire me or put me in a very low paying part-time position. I knew for him to do that he would need me to be a bad employee, so I thought he would wait in the parking lot after leaving for the day, watching me, waiting for me to mess up. I realized he could have enlisted the help of other employees to spy on me while he wasn’t at work and ultimately I thought he had convinced Loss Prevention to install cameras to watch me. Even further down the rabit hole, I thought the weather was a sign of the kind of day I was going to have; clear sky’s was a good day, gloomy was a bad day.
Finally the anxiety over my job got to me so much that I was sick almost every day of the week and contemplated driving my car off a bridge every day on the way to work. The nausea from the anxiety ultimately made it so I couldn’t even drive to work and that forced me to seek medical help.
My new doctor (a private GP that only charged me $90 per visit), was convinced that what I told him was really what was going on and diagnosed me with anxiety and put me on short term disability and LOA from work. Things got worse as I started getting anxious about everything. I’d see the same model truck my boss drove and think it was him monitoring me. I felt very exposed when outside my apartment like someone could be staring at me down a sniper scope. Every time someone walked my my apartment, I thought they were here for me and were gonna bust down the door.
Finally, a few months later I realized through similar stories people went through online that I might just be paranoid and I learned what delusional meant. So I saw another doctor (after changing to my wife’s better insurance plan) and they diagnosed me with depression w/ psychosis and finally SZA.
I had no intent to write such a long story, but yea, that is an example of a long standing persecutory delusion I had before I knew what that was.