Delusions-Your experience

How many different delusions have you had? How long do they last or do they vary in length? What types of delusions are you prone to? (Grandiose, paranoid, erotomanic, etc)

My first delusion started when I was in kindergarten and I got the idea in my head that I was a werewolf. I believed this until I was in the 8th grade, meaning that delusion lasted 8 or 9 years. I got very in depth in this one, creating all these reasons why I couldn’t actually transform and an entire world and persona.

After that delusion passed I had a flurry of delusions in high school. My second delusion started freshmen year of high school and it was that two angels controlled my life. They were called Lucky and Unlucky. Following that I started believing I was an entity from another plane, then that I was God, and then sophomore year I believed I wasn’t actually God but the next messiah, Jesus’ younger sibling. Believed I got anything I wanted because God gave it to me for this reason. (Made me briefly think I might be a witch too) This delusion turned incredibly paranoid over the course of a year as I went into my first major psychotic episode. I ended up believing that because I was the next messiah, the devil wanted to kidnap me and take me to hell to impregnate me with the antichrist. It would happen if I was left alone. The clouds were his agents and would take me away if I was alone outside. The clouds also had messages in them from both God and the devil. Storms were God’s way of hiding me when the devil was near. The craziness just went on and on. I was experiencing a lot of other bad psychotic crap at the time too.

Then I gained insight after involving a friend in all of it who made me realize I may need help…I started wondering about the beliefs I got more…senior year believed I was an agent of the apocalypse and that I was to be the mother of the antichrist…in college I started thinking I was going to be a warrior in the apocalypse…but overall once I gained insight into my illness I started being able to recognize delusional beliefs and thus combat them…I still don’t feel like I’m human and that I’m an entity from the nonphsycial plane…I feel like people can read my thoughts but aren’t conscious of it…I still somewhat feel like I’m going to be a warrior in the apocalypse…it’s all pretty confusing. But that’s my history anyways. My delusions seem to last anywhere between months and years.

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Mine aren’t that complicated. Paranoid. I believe some faction of the government was out to get me. Not sure which part, i.e. The CIA or FBI. Whatever.

Feel like I am constantly being watched and everything I do or say is recorded, Had severe alogia for a while.

I thought the government manipulated things in my life to make my condition worse. As complex as making me lose my job or as simple as noticing differences in the prices of my medication.

I think people are acting as in everyone is involved in the conspiracy except for me. So I have learned not to trust others.

Pretty much your common paranoid conspiracy theory. My perception of reality is altered based upon how bad I think my environment is being manipulated.

All of my attempts at employment failed. But for now I have found a safe place in school. The government doesn’t seem to care whether I fail or succeed at school. It’s been a nice break.

… yeah… that’s me still… the world is so grand though… AIN’T IT!!! I’m jsut trying to fit in :wink:

back to creating a lose framework that has the potential to hold the ever expanding web-work of interdependencies across all physical potentials… including the arrival of sentience, thought, ideas and other qualia…

I’ve only had a couple and they are actually still going on at the moment and I’m trying to get rid of them. It’s weird though because I know that they are completely irrational but I still can’t help believing them.

Well this first one is actually done but starting in around 5th grade I believed that I was a vampire and that my fangs only came out at night, but they couldn’t come out when I was consciously awake so I would only have them and have my ‘vampire powers’ when I was asleep but then while sleeping I would actually wake up in my vampire form, but once I turned back to my human form I could never remember what I did in my vampire form. With this one I believed that there was a war going on against demons and that the clouds had messages about the war that my human form had to interpret. This one ended in 8th grade.

This second one I am still experiencing and this one I believe that I am always being recorded and that somebody is always watching me. This started only a little bit after the first one ended.

The third is that people can read my mind, so I’ll shout at them mentally but they don’t every say anything back because they know that it would blow there cover even though I already know that they can read my thoughts. I’m also still experiencing this one too. This started only a few weeks after the second one.

Oh also I don’t intend this to be a thread promoting delusional beliefs!! And I should have put a trigger warning, whoops.

I’m just interested in seeing how these beliefs vary from person to person.

Yeah I had “rules” like that too when I believed I was a werewolf. I think it was like I believed I was on some sort of exchange program or something and I wasn’t allowed to transform and reveal the existence of monsters because of this magical court that made laws for all magical creatures. But I believed that at night I did transform because I would become a werewolf in my dreams and thought the dreams were reality.

Oh dear.

Paranoid. Mind reading , life is a simulation, cameras everywhere , poison, used to think I had cancer, being watched, used to think animals eyes were cameras, I’m gonna die, people talk about me, being followed, someone’s gonna break in. Can’t think of more but feel like I’m missing some

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I was told one time “warrior” it was me speaking this outloud out of no where after I had been cut. I didn’t know what it meant but since then I had voices, dreams all related to evil and good God and the devil so it maybe a warrior of the apocalypse like you? Who knows? There’s a lot of things we can’t fully explain, I understand what you mean about not feeling human. I’ve always felt this way also.

Ooh good topic.

Definitely not being able to tell my dreams apart from reality played a big part here. From age 5 to 12 I thought I could fly/float, which was really fun when it worked, but sometimes it was hard to do and other times wouldn’t work at all. I also thought I could see through walls, although mostly this was because one of my eyes could see around corners that the other eye couldn’t. Then around age 6-7 things got dark. I hallucinated a 6ft black wolf with glowing eyes that would chase me, and I was delusional about that for about a year afterwards. I also thought I had murdered two people and buried their bodies in the wall cavity in my bedroom, which is weird because I never remembered killing them or burying them, I just knew I had done it and was terrified of the bodies being discovered for about 5 years - I would get mad if people moved things about in my room or if strangers came I would be paranoid they would discover the skeletons. When I moved home the delusion kind of faded, but I still talked about having skeletons until around 17 when someone asked me about them and I didn’t really remember and was confused about where the idea had come from. Then I had not many delusions for a while, probably because I was drunk every day and wouldn’t have remembered them, and I was not remembering dreams as much due to oversleeping. Then more recently I had a big delusion of grandeur and some beliefs I’m not able to talk about in case they might still be true. Buuuut… I should mention that I did some meditation with a spiritual healer and hallucinated having my own angel army, which fueled the delusion. Deffo avoid guided meditation when you are grandiose.

I believe that we are in a simulation and god is the programmer. He talks to me. I’m actually an undercover agent from the real reality and my family aren’t really my family. There is covert surveillance through the animals in their eyes they are robotic. I was sent here to save the mind control victims from the electronic concentration camp. The whole thing is an experiment. The shadow government are controlling peoples minds with electromagnetic waves and other experents. They talk about me too. Because everyone knows what I’m suppose to do I either get acknowledged in a good way by strangers and the media or in a really negative way; gang stalking and street theatre and messages from them through the newspapers.

At the moment my neighbours tried to convince me I was a demon and in the pots of hell with em waves so I’ve covered my walls with tin foil.

Its a sick game to everyone and things are organized and scripted.

During one of my most recent episodes I had a fear of cameras too. I swore that this one guy on the internet had hacked into all my cameras and was watching me. (I had no reason to think this…) and I covered up every camera I owned. (On phone, laptop, etc…)

Being watched seems to be one of the themes I’m seeing in this thread

Cover up my cameras with clay but now tape because clay messed up my mic on my phone but I cover them up even on medicine still paranoid of cameras on meds

I think life is a simulation but believe in God don’t know who controls the simulation might be god not trying to trigger you I used to think cameras in animals eyes too so it’s the government that makes people read my mind? They control it?

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Well if this is a simulation then I am glad I am in the same simulation as everyone here.

I cover my cameras and weighted dogs eyes with bluetack. People try put their phones up and direct their cameras at me I hate it

Use electromagnetic waves to do just about anything. God is a programmer. The real reality controls it not the gov in the false reality

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I don’t believe anyone is real but sometimes think psychotic people are in the simulation too

I believe people are apart of the programme so really they don’t exist

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So once the simulation ends no mind reading?

God expects me to defeat the shadow government and save all the mind control victims which mind reading is a symptom