I talk way too much about my physical disability, and I was a nuisance to the residence staff because I had mental health symptoms. They had to deal with all of my ■■■■ for a year. Now I know why people hate me so much.
I cause inconvenience to everyone, and I should never be forgiven about that.
I know now why people don’t like me very much. I caused this ■■■■ to happen. Actions have consequences.
I’m going to try to share about my life as little as possible and refrain from speaking about it.
I just don’t think people should be bothered by me anymore. My problems should be kept to myself.
@anon10648258 you sound super super depressed. I would say please keep sharing because when your depressed you have to share and vent your feelings to stay healthy. Hope you can find some more coping strategies. Best wishes, your not bothering anyone here that for sure, everyone loves you.
I had a similar experience. I over divulged to much about suicidal thoughts. I talked about the voices I hear too. Friends had asked questions about the voices, but knowing the answer only scared them off. The average person isn’t trained how to handle this. I leaned on friends too heavily, and maybe we didn’t make enough good memories. The relationships were too negative (partly because of me and the friends). I’m more of an optimist these days. I think there can be a balance with stuff that isn’t tied to suicide. I can talk a little about my symptoms. I’m hoping to find friends one day who aren’t scared off by my diagnosis, but if I get suicidal, I’ll go to a doctor for help, not friends.
Now I know why people don’t want to talk to me. I overshare my problems, and I am a nuisance to everyone, really. That explains why my friends are becoming more distant.
I know now why no one likes me anymore.
I hope you’ll find friends, but I’m not even worthwhile to have friends. I just create problems.
I don’t see why residence staff wouldn’t want to hear about your MH symptoms.
I think you are suffering from low self esteem again.
I think you ought to try to find some things you can do to build your confidence in yourself. If its doing physical activity, or painting or some volunteering or buying yourself some nice clothes.
You don’t need to be so critical of yourself. Everyone is allowed to make mistakes or do things they regret in hindsight. It doesn’t make you an unlovable or evil person.
You are mean to yourself. I think you need to find ways to be nice to yourself and improve your self esteem.
I can’t do that. My dog is sick, and I don’t know how long he is going to live. Everything I love is being taken away- my hometown, my friends, my support system, my health, and now my dog. My other dog is going to die in a few years too. And I would be left with no one and nothing. It was all meant to be this way.
I was meant to be miserable. And whatever it is, if there is a God or something, he hates me and I’m sure of it.
@anon10648258 theres nothing wrong with your peronality, it sounds like youre going through a rough patch but theres a light at the end of the tunnel i promise. You have a brain disorder that make things seem darker. Millions of doctors are working every day to help people in the same boat (like me who suffers from depression). There are treatments and will continue to be better ones.
I’m sorry your dog is unwell. It is very normal to be upset over the loss of a loved one. We all get attached to our pets and think the world of them. It is hard to deal with them leaving us but thats just how it is.
Be thankful for the time you did have with your doggo and feel thankful for how much joy they brought you. Remember that they needed you too and that you helped them a lot too by giving them a nice home w with regular food and walks etc.
There are other animals out there that you could take under your wing too when you feel ready for it.
But I guess you have to recognise that this is a part of life, and that everything ends at some point. Even if it is premature, sometimes thats just how it is. No one is punishing you specifically.
You may be able to take care of an animal at some point in your life if you can’t do it now. And it doesn’t have to be a big dog, or even a dog. It could be a smaller creature.
I’m just angry about how I cannot be a better person, a better daughter. Like an able-bodied, smart, top-of-the-class daughter. Like a person that anyone would love, you know?
I’m not that. I’m weak, I’m feeble…I’m not any of that. I am not smart. I’m not on the top of my class. I’ve failed to meet my parents’ expectations, and I don’t walk normally anymore. My parents didn’t ask any of that. They asked for an able-bodied daughter, and since I am not able-bodied anymore, they’re struggling to keep their finances stable. It’s my fault. And it could have been different if I was well.
im sorry to hear that… Its not your fault for needing financial help. For people who are sick its hard enough work to endure their sicknesses. Its our job as sick people to provide a good example of enduring our sickness with poise. We, the sick, help people spiritually. Its societies job to help us (many people are gifted with good finances we are not). You are entitled, by the rules of decency, to financial help. That’s how society works.
I know its difficult to accept because we have to be humble, God bless and bring happiness into your life.
I think if you spoke to a counsellor they would probably say that a lot of your self esteem issues stem from how harsh and unsupportive your mother is to you. Obviously, I’m no professional, but I think you really need to let go of what your parents expect of you and just be you. Don’t worry about chasing what they want you to be. Be yourself and do the best you can do by your own standards.
You’ll be a lot happier if you let yourself define who you want to be.
I don’t even know what I want anymore. I just want to sleep all day- that’s literally it. I have no purpose in life, no meaning, nothing. I just live because I’m breathing.
I’ve tried speaking to my pdoc and she keeps saying “you’re strong”. I want to fix my chain of thought but literally every single MH professional I’ve spoke to keep saying that I’m strong, and that I’ve got this. I just want to get some help when I ask for help…
My mom is supportive- it’s just that she’s just having a hard time taking care of me. I know that she cares, it’s just that caregivers struggle too.