Name the worst feeling you ever felt

Lounge
21

The feeling of being psychotic, I had ptsd from that

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22

Knowing that if you stop your meds youā€™ll get thin and feel great for about a month before you go psychotic again but the meds suck so bad that you canā€™t function on them either.
Or having to accept your body is not going to look the way you want it to and then seeing some young guy jogging by you and you wish you could do that too.

23

Not being able to go out in public because youā€™re afraid of your symptoms and the meds make you look and act stupid. But youā€™re getting tired of staying in the house for months and years on end

24

That anger you feel when you realize that you got dealt a bad hand and even though you tell yourself that itā€™s a treatable illness it really isnā€™t and thereā€™s nothing you can do about it because youā€™ll never be sane and the damage has already been done you canā€™t unlive what youā€™ve been through.

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25

You only get to pick one! Narrow it down! :older_woman:

Iā€™m so sorry youā€™re suffering so much right now. I wish there were something that would help you feel good things, too.

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26

Someone should force the head of the NIMH to read all of these posts and donā€™t stop until they come out with a better treatment option.

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27

Yes, delusional guilt was one of my least favorite feelings too. I seriously thought I was personally responsible for the destruction of the whole world and of my son. That werenā€™t happy moments.

Anhedonia (feeling nothing, if that counts) is the other one. Both compete for being the worst.

28

The fear of having another psychotic episode. The fear of not being able to trust yourself and your mind in public. That worry that youā€™re going to embarrass yourself or be laughed at or even worse have someone call the cops on you for not acting right.
That sense of loss of control over your faculties the never quite goes away fully

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29

The pain of trying to connect with another human being but not being able to see through the fog of irrationality and medication. The desire is there but they donā€™t return your enthusiasm because they can tell that something is wrong with you or that you are desperate.

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30

Being pulled from my roots

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31

The pain of becoming an outcast after years of being in the ā€œinā€ crowd. Having known what was up, and now not being able to ā€œhangā€

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32

Thanks @crimbyā€¦yes i learned to let it go or at least to suppress it.

33

The feeling of embarrassment at not having a job and having no purpose in life. Not even a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Just being a piece of flesh that eats sleeps and shits on someone elseā€™s dime, and having gone to college for absolutely nothing. 4 years and a hundred thousand dollars wasted to get a lousy degree that Iā€™m never gonna use because Iā€™m ā– ā– ā– ā– ā– ā– ā–  disabled between my ears of all places. The shame and stigma of having a serious mental illness is the absolute worst.

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34

The shame of having lost all of my friends, my decency my self respect, being laughed at poked and prodded by psychiatrists, experimented on by lab techs in hospitals. My body, a toxic waste pit of psychotropic medications. A living breathing science experiment. My weight goes from normal to obese 2 times a year my kidneys hurt Iā€™m stiff I canā€™t feel pleasure my brain is mush. Iā€™ve been on every god damned med on the market and they still donā€™t have one that really works well. Oh yea and looking like a pumkin on meds for all the world to see. Nothing more embarrassing than the face of being on antipsychotics

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35

feeling like nobody cares what you go through on a daily basis

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36

feeling like i cant express myself using words and i am trapped in my own head

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37

Suicidal ideation. Had it for about a month straight once. Not a good feeling but intense paranoia is a close second.

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38

the moment while I was delusional that I realized I didnā€™t even have a body and was trapped in a laser on a CD in a computer that was the main control of a space ship designed by Jesus to deliver the devil to fire lake.

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39

worst feeling is self-destructive.

a lot of the things that I wish to do are attempts to stay away from feeling self-destructive and hurting myself.

that is your signature delusion, no? :confused:

I swear I heard this one before. :slight_smile:

sorry itā€™s your worst feeling though.

yes that is frustrating, especially when I want to write romance. :frowning2:

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40

yeah, it is the main premise of the heart of all my beliefsā€¦there were about a thousand details in my book about what I believed, but the above is all I ever say about it when explaining it.