I want to avoid the pain of missing her but this morning I am powerfully aware of it. I understand how Nick has been feeling.
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My mother died in 1990. I never got over it.
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Me too…my mom died in 1993 when I was 11. That’s what set this whole nightmare of schizophrenia off in the first place. It’s incredibly hard to recover from something like that.
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Jan 1st will make 4 years since my mother died. I miss her terribly and this time of year brings many memories. I’ve suppressed much pain over her death and I fear this has made coping with it much more difficult. This time of the year is rough.
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I can totally feel and sense your pain, @Malvok. My mom died on November 7th, and this time of year is hard for me too. My dad died on December 3rd, so yeah, tough stuff. I internalized my mother’s death, and that was the “dumbest” thing I could do. I put that in quotation marks because I was 11 and knew no better. If I allow myself to think about her suffering, I will cry with ease. I strongly recommend a therapist for you man, if you don’t already have one. I understand how you feel, it’s horrible. Be strong. It’s a tough row to hoe. 
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sorry you are feeling like that 
but for me…
i wish my whole family would die…in horrible painful ways.
then i will stand over them in 
hell laughing at their ’ karmic ’ reward of suffering 
â– â– â– â– them to hell
take care 
I don’t know what I’m going to do when my mom finally passes away, she is healthy right now but getting up there in years. Scares the hell outta’ me. I feel for you guys who have lost your parents. I can’t imagine your pain.
Sorry for your pain, too. Not to dredge up pain, but I hope you have peace tonight from those memories.
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Hey, Gir, what is your avatar? I can’t make it out.
Hey Chordy! It’s a sunset over a lake with trees around the border. Took the picture a few months ago.
Oh. Now that you explain it, it’s perfectly clear.
My mother died on Thanksgiving Day in 2007. She was my only source of family news, Now I only here from my brothers or sisters, when somebody is dead or dying.
Other than that, I see my brothers and sisters once a year during the family reunion
Yeah, the avatars on my phone are tiny, and I struggle to see what others are too!
When i was newborn my parents gave me to my auntie as a orphan and they went belgium with me.but after 3 years later they decide to not take me as a child and send back to turkey to my real parents.i was asking to my real parent what did ı do when i was in that time.they just told me ı was always crying looking after my real parent which they supposed to my auntie.because after 3 year later ı was knew my parents as my auntie and my real parents was just a stranger.since that time ı m with the real parents and i dont feel anybody for anything.i just want to enjoy life and suicide when times come like kurt cobain…
I hope that time never comes. Life is precious and I wish you a long and happy one.
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kurt cobain was my childhood hero.he was left handed me too ;he was schizophrenic me too,he wrote his music for just get rid of his fears;me too,he abused by his friends; me too…when i was child ı just weared his clothes all the time.i was played the guitar like him, weared like him ,sex like him ,and finally i will die like him.
I think kurt cobain didn’t have sz but bipolar and its all a bit speculative… be careful with idolizing him. His pain isn’t yours, he wrote really depressing music. Although I like it, he’s not to be followed. He made really terrible mistakes in his life. His life is not your life.
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Yes He has quite acidic and depression life but his depressionic life is Just closing real horrible facts of life.i liked his attitude to life.maybe He was the only person quite close to my life at my childhood.i just cannot come off from him.its impossible.his vision of life engrave to my soul deeply.it s not a curse its a big gift for me because i can be brave to suicide.thats very important.i don t care how stupid its look.its just give strenght to end to my life which i need deeply
suicide is not bravery. living life with the cards we’re dealt with is bravery
It’s far more brave to live your life in the face of your difficulties and find contentment despite. I have no idea what suicide accomplished, but I know life can give you so much more.