Sorry Minnii, didn’t see your post.
You have to live your life just for enjoy.if you can not enjoy from life,if the negative thing are much bigger than positive things then you need bravery…for close yourself.just like this i quess.
When my mother died from Alzheimer’s in 2013 I looked at it like she had been freed from suffering. She’d been ill a long time. When mom was sick I used to call her on the phone, but I never dreamed about her. Lately I’ve been having dreams with her in them. The same thing happened with my dad. I didn’t have dreams with him in them until after he died.