Schizophrenia.com

I'm still surprised I'm not dead... I owe that to you


#1

The lionhearted 17 year old kid sister, single handedly fought the bad wolf in the woods last night; armed only with her wits and her ridding hood. She had a very long hard night making sure that humpty dumpty didn’t fall and didn’t need the kings horses or the kings men after all.

It’s been a while since I’ve hallucinated that badly and vividly. It’s been a while since I’ve made no sense: since I’ve been so unable to control myself or think on any human level. It’s been a long time since I’ve been rabid and mentally breaking to the point of becoming physically ill. How did I NOT end up in hospital last night? With all the panic, and yelling and babbling and dry heaves, she stayed. She kept her cool and kept me safe. She kept me in my head some what and out of the hospital. Just like she always does.

When I woke up this morning, I was in a quiet bedroom, in clean sheets and a clean robe. Med’s were waiting and so was a light breakfast. She called my boss, so I don’t loose my job; she called my doctor and I have an appointment TODAY! 2:20 p.m. She is going with me to support me and give me that confidence I so desperately need after a dark and draining night like this.

After having to deal with this sort of night again, she is finally getting some sleep. She deserves it. There have been more then a few negative people lately who have really been dragging her down, making her doubt her self worth, chipping away at her optimism a little more each day. When she wakes up I really hope she sees this and knows; how important she is to many people. In her own quiet way, she’s a hero. With her help I will do all I can to beat this. I wish I could give you a whole round of applause plus more. I love you kid.
P.S. sorry about the piano


#2

Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Your sister deserves a medal for being so brave and caring! If she reads this, I want to thank her for taking care of you so selflessly, and for knowing exactly what to do to help the situation as much as possible. Hopefully your doctor can do something to help, I hate to see that you’re suffering.


#3

She’s the captain of my crisis team and the captain of the J preservation project.
She’s like my own personal lifeguard. Only she prevents drowning of a different kind. Thank you for your posting. I will get better. How are you doing?


#4

About the same. My therapist wants to set me up with a case management service. I kinda lost it during our session today, I thought the floor was rippling and moving, and the bookcase (which is built into the wall) looked like it was about to fall, and everything just looked WRONG. I kinda zoned out for a bit, gazing blankly and rocking, I had my feet up on the chair because I was afraid of the floor. I’m fine now, though I had to sit in my truck in the parking lot for about half an hour before I could drive home.


Doctors vs. therapist
#5

J
You know I love you with all my heart, and will be there for you when ever you need.
Every scraped knee, every loud storm, every school yard bully, and bad dream…
you have always been someone I can run to and tell all.
You always know how to cheer me up… your my hero too.
Thank you James. :blush: :stuck_out_tongue:


#6

Thank you a lot. Your post really cheered me up. :blush:


#7

i have to say your kid sis is pretty cool .
take care


#8

i wish i had a kid sis like you :sunny:

my big sis is older and has kids so she could never care for me like that, she has her own family to care for,
i do try to care for her now tho that i am stable enough :slight_smile: i visit twice a week if i am able and i phone and text her sometimes too.


#9

Thank you for your kind reply. :blush: I’m glad you and your siblings are staying in touch and keeping your friendship in tact. It’s hard to do in many life circumstances. May your holidays be spent with people who make you happy.