I got some news yesterday and today I’ve woken up really sad and not feeling well. I’m sort of confused, scared, and angry. (There was a time I had no emotion. They aren’t supposed to hit all at once. That doesn’t seem right.)
My kid sis used to go to a sibling Sz support group. But some very negative people and a drastic change in the group made her decide to quit going. A friend of hers will keep in light contact. Yesterday my sis was told by the friend that one of the girls committed suicide this past Sunday.
The girl who passed away was 17 and my kid sister’s friend kept saying… “but she was the normal one. She didn’t have any problems. She wasn’t the one with the mental illness.”
Yeah… She was fine and dandy, that is why she actively left this life. This girl obviously was NOT fine, she obviously DID have problems. The family, the counselor, the facilitator of the support group… they all dropped the ball.
I have read some of the “Sibling” books where the parents are so focused on the ill child they completely ignore the “well” one. That really upsets me and scares me. It also makes me feel very guilty. I don’t understand why a parent would completely ignore a child for being healthy. I do feel sorry for this girl and her sibling. I could only imagine how this girls ill sibling is most likely falling apart even more.
I don’t know why this is hitting me so hard. I have heard of this girl through my sis. I have met her once or twice. But that’s all.
I think another thing that is making me upset is… I keep thinking that this could happen to my family. My kid sis is the healthy one but my parent’s don’t seem to like her. If I wasn’t around no one would like her or help her out. How does anyone survive their 17th year on earth?
This is very sad and confusing and I bet if I was healthy, I’d be able to keep this in perspective. But I’m not healthy so I know I’m not going to do well for a few days. This is going to upset me no matter how much I try not to let it. There are some urges I’m battling back hard… that I know are not helpful.
(I sort of want to tell my parents… see… this could happen to MY sibling. Why won’t you just be there for her?) I feel very upset for this poor girl, and her sibling, and my sibling.
How did no one see this coming?