I am unhappy since 25 years, really… I was retarded before the illness too. Good on some points, but I had really bad ‘‘bugs’’ in my head on others…
Is this strange for you? That I don’t recover even on meds? Tell me this illness is not much helped by the meds, no? wow… We need them, ok, but maybe its not up to them at the end to feel symptom free. Cause for those who think, that I don’t fight enough, ill say that my illness is even physical. And I feel very guilty myself too to not fight enough. I am determined to pay more efforts, but with this rhythm, ill recover in my fifties. And then, it’ll be too late… Ill be an old lady, with no kids and with a screwed body…
why I went so fragile? My hands are shaky outside by fear, my stomach is tight, all my body is like tortured too by some freaky body sensations… I really want to be happy now, that I didn’t see a normality never… I was never normal,people, never… Did some of you got better on their unusual body sensations for god sake?
But I am on the both sides of the illness. Suppress my depression with antidepressants and I fly toward the paranoia. Suppress my fears and I am too dead. But I was almost like dead before the meds too. I was never a dynamic person, my mom knows it and the jokes that I was an apathetic baby are an habit in my family… I see the schizophrenics with positive symptoms out there and I think, that even they are happier than me. Pls, correct me if I am wrong, I just have my paranoia and I am dumb, I don’t know what is to have voices or something like this…
But why I take meds, when its just up to efforts like some of you say it here? but yeah, I guess,that without them its worse… Maybe they’ll help me with the months? Its been 9 months, that I raised my Zyprexa…
But gosh, I have a non existing spirit or a ‘‘soul’’ feeling now tbh… and I am just scared of how confused is my mind. My thoughts suck…
Sorry you’re struggling so much. It can be really tough dealing with all this. No, it’s not strange that the meds don’t make you happy. They don’t make me happy either. They’re not really designed to. Only one thing seems to make me happy and we can’t discuss that subject here. Hope you get some relief soon. Hang in there.
Meds alone won’t make you happy,
You have to put in an effort to feel better.
Exercise, eating well and a solid busy routine have really helped keep me sane and happy.
If you want to feel better you’re going to have to make some changes and not rely so much on medication.
Antipsychotics make me feel “happier”. They make music sound better, and they stop me from feeling miserable and angry. They make me feel better, yes.
yeah, but I have friends, who went completely symptom free from meds, no? Why not me???
at least, they started to go out without fears… Me, I tried 11 aps, it was too much… they turned me into a guineia pig, even one pdoc said it.
That was them,
We’re talking about you.
Everyone is different and you clearly are not going to be able to rely on just meds.
You have to make some changes in order to feel better.
yeah… for me, it looks like meds helped everyone… only me knew 20 years of isolation…
Well,
You can break that cycle and get out of isolation.
You are the only one keeping yourself there.
Are there many others, who are few helped by meds? I still wonder tbh… I just see my friends in crises, which act normal after two months on aps… sorry to be the hard ass here, but I am tired to be good either… One friend told me, that she would have killed herself in my place…she is ill too
well, ill continue my efforts, but I am afraid they will be few…
What medication do you take and dosage?
thanks for the answer liquid… Yeah, I guess I was angrier without the meds. But I am still angry now here as you see 
. Maybe, at the end, we are all alone in a way… Idk, I hate my evenings. My thoughts are very dumb then, which reflects on my emotions…
I take 10 mg of Zyprexa and 1000 mg of Depakote.
My meds make me functional. My accomplishments make me happy.
(And family and friends too, of course.)
its not my case. My meds lowered a bit my fears, but they remain quite strong. I guess my meds just help me to be on my feet, but they didn’t make disappear my fears. So I guess now its up to me… it makes me lonely, I have few people around me. But I love them all 
I was worse on this before…
@anon82948922, did your meds make disappear your fears completely just for the info? Idk why I have such anxiety and paranoia still like this. I guess I am a bit dysfunctional cognitively< which is an obstacle on that…
Oh, there is also I guess the side effects of the meds. I feel something per waves sometimes. They mess with my thinking, so I am the servant of this 
I cant control my life till the meds mess with my brain in a shitty way like this. But its not so often as I said, so I still take them.
No it’s not. No medications will make you “happy.” Typically antidepressants take away negative emotion, but do not increase positive emotions. Through exercise, psychotherapy, and healthy living habits, people can feel more serene, happy, and joyful, but there are no pills for consistent happiness. Recreational drugs can be used for various “highs” but those are fleeting and eventually very destructive.
okay… Well, I was just wondering why I cant put my feet out still sometimes 
… I avoid cafes with my ‘‘girl’’ friends, cause they’ll be full of life and itll make me feel bad, I know it. Maybe I don’t get better, cause I have now a personality disorder in plus to the sz? I went jealous and angry I guess…
Many people with chronic headaches would change places with someone like you in an eyeblink. If you’re not feeling chronic pain you should be able to go out with some courage!
Don’t worry about being slower than everyone else, that’s just your personality. Some would take it as being patient and a good listener. Don’t worry about being judged like that, especially if you’re not hallucinating! People with positive symptoms have the worst time, every single sound and word seems to be tilted against them, and yet they go out anyways, because ■■■■ it. It doesn’t physically hurt! It’s just feelings.
You say you “feel your brain in your head” sometimes, does that mean it feels inflamed? Maybe an anti-inflammatory would benefit you.
Oh, you remember about my brain in my head @anon22322466, its kind, thanks Well, I think this is linked to my screwed up thinking. I ruminate a lot, but very dumb things usually. So this creates this pressure in my brain… When I said to my pdoc, that I feel my brain in my head, she raised my ap only. Its my illness, maybe I am retarded… My doc was saying that my thoughts have no ending, I was jumping from one thought to another…