well, so I went dumb, cause seeing only rejection in the others? My symptoms were painful too, naturally… I still have to tell to my feet to walk one in front of the other in order to regain courage to go out… Plus, my best friend is out there and have all the guys which she wants, while me, I had nothing for 20 years… jealousy again? but yeah… she shouldn’t have said she would have killed herself in my place… I am sad…
Who cares about rejection? Not everyone will like you, and that’s fine.
Life is a numbers game, just keep trying until you find the people you like. Fearing rejection is a very controlling attitude, it happens when you want people to behave in exactly the manner you predict, and it’s not going to happen. Just stop caring about outcomes! Go out without expectations and enjoy the roller coaster of life.
You look normal too, and you’re capable of making friends, so stop caring about rejection!
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yes, you are right. I sometimes realize better what you say. Probably not now. I went sad again…its unfair to be at this point of my life. I have nothing now. plus, I never had it. and I should always remember to myself to remain good, while I am not it often I guess it… I never had a bf, while I am 36 years old… nobody who would try to pull me out of this hole…
whatever. sorry to all of you, that I am here jealous like this. sorry. I want to crynow. I suck yeah
Your “inner game” is messed up. Just own your illness, and go to mental health support groups with people who are in a similar situation, and open up to them. Take small steps, eventually find part time work, just keep trying and you’ll improve on that injured self-perception you have! If a normie asks you what you’re doing just say you’re “between jobs”, or that you’ve been clinically depressed for a few years.
I know what that fear is like, I’ve wasted years of my life and fallen behind my peers. It doesn’t matter, just find an identity that is realistic and own it. Life doesn’t have to be a race, just enjoy the ride.
It’s more of a race against your biological clock, than against other people, to be honest.
nope, sorry… I am scared from the mental groups here. Its terrible, ive rushed with my head once and I regretted it… nothing against the other mentally ill, but I screwed it up. I get worse in groups like this, idk why… but yeap, I should stop regret what ive waisted. its done.
Don’t worry about blowing your first impression. Go for the second, or third, or however many impressions it takes to find your groove. Learn to embrace failure!
Babe Ruth had the record for most homeruns during his time, but he also had the record for most strikeouts. Those who try the most win the most! Also, trying isn’t true failure. Not trying is!
ok, thanks for answering me… I just should get used to the fact, that the meds are not helping me personally… I should work on myself I guess, yeap.
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Yeah, that’s where you are. You have a lot of potential, turn it into action! Screw the illness, power through it.
yeah, thanks again. I went sad again, its like this… Maybe I went a bad person… just jealous as hell… it was always my problem…
You should try “tapping”. This sounds like you have a lot of stuck emotions to deal with, and tapping can help you release them.
Try this:
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yes, since a year I try to express more myself. I was in a shell for the last ten years, its too much. From this come my fear, that my recovery will be slower. ive spent too much time as dead, plus the aps which are not helping on this… ill look at the video.
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Well, that’s not entirely accurate. There are drugs that induce an artificial euphoria, but they generally share many or all of the following drawbacks:
- Illegal or highly controlled
- Dangerous (if purchased illegally), could be contaminated with fentanyl
- You develop tolerance and need to keep increasing dosage
- Highly addictive
- They destroy your health
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But isn’t it strange for you, that I spent 20 years between 4 walls practically? Well, today I feel guilty again. I also sometimes feel as a bad person. Tbh, I have one friend who is in the hospital again. But despite her illness, she was always out, doing some things etc etc. Me - it was never the case. Between my psychosomatic stuff, the paranoia, the emotional and intellectual dumbness, the fears, yes, I was at my home… And the meds doesn’t work very well on me. Maybe I have some progress now only cause I fight now. I guess my thoughts are not nice either… Why I went so dumb? I have the complex to be a retarded 
. My mom is desperate about me. I guess even she doesn’t respect me. Did you also fight a lot in order to get better in your opinion? My friend says, that in her opinion, the meds are not big help for anyone… But idk… I just see some ill friends who spend 2 months in a hospital and after this, they are fine. I had 8 hospitalizations and at the limit, I even don’t feel those heavy meds, gosh. My docs say now to just pay efforts and be patient. They told me also, that I took too many meds. Maybe I am a schizophrenic, but I am a dumb schizophrenic
Have you tried anxiety medication before? I know you say you get help from benzos but maybe a something a bit softer that you can take more regularly? Glad to hear you have made some progress on feeling a bit better though. Also would you consider going swimming once a week? I reckon getting the cardio would be good for your mental health too, it raises your mood.
No, I cant do sports still. Too sad even for this. This makes me cry even, imagine… I try to do it without benzos. I don’t want to depend on smth like this. But really, I feel as the dumbest schizophrenic ever. I guess my friends talk in my back, that I am retarded… I have so low self esteem, that its ugly… everything around me Is ugly. It sux to feel ill since kid… I just accumulated the deceptions. Maybe I really went bad, idk… But its hard to see everyone around you having some life because of the meds, while I fight alone for this. I want to know if some of you had to change theirselves more, than being helped by the meds. I feel it like this in a way now… And I even feel misloved by my mom now, but I guess its the illness still.
You should not call yourself retarded @Anna1 it is not fair. If I were you I would give anxiety meds a bit of a shot, maybe ask your doctor what they think. Shame you can’t go swimming, you could enjoy it and maybe not go too hard on it straight away.
My motricity is bad now, admiral. Its not because of my isolation. Because of the illness… I want to feel fine in my body first. Oh, am I the only one here who says always no now? 
But I do some things now tbh. But it still doesn’t feel like a life. Sometimes no emotions to feel a life too… Yeap, I have this complex of being retarded and simply… Is there somebody here who counts more on yourself now than on the meds? They should have helped me till now I guess or idk. Maybe they help within the years sometimes idk… I am boring with this starvation to be fine I guess, sorry. Maybe I should learn now to love everything and everyone at the end lol…
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