Hi again all. I am still on the forum, i wonder who still thinks of me here lol… I was never very popular here but anyway…
I want you to believe me, that we tried everything with my pdoc… I tried all possible meds for 10 years, while believing they’ll do their job… But this didnt happen really… My pdoc ended up by saying to stay on the ap which was the least bad on me and to pay efforts now… My zyprexa maintains me on my feet, but it never pulled me out of my house… Also, its not working at all on my painful physical symptoms, which i have from the illness… I dont want even to develop, that the meds act very differently on me - for instance, the zyprexa doesnt even put me to sleep, its almost like a candy when i take it, so this is strange 
…
In the evenings, i am still alone here, with my paranoia, my dreamy world, which is not from the nice ones and the psychosomatic stuff, which is very, very painful and tiring…
Ok, i fight now, but its a shame the meds dont do more on me… I wonder if i am alone on this?
Hugs all
No one? 
who else also is a bit obliged to fight his illness with efforts?
I am not negative, but really, the docs said that they can’t do more for me. We tried everything and it’s a hard fate to fight this only on your own… I am tired to be a fighter yeah…
Tbh, my psychosomatics are very painful, but one doc said that there are other mi,not sz… but there’s no med for this 
I have sz too though… it’s just that it’s quite painful and I often still just don’t live… maybe, some ill people here as me, will never do it… I really don’t understand how the meds get you a life… I wonder if the sz is like this - mostly painful and with symptoms till the end? …
for my belief, meds should only be your supportive attribute. it must never be mainstream nor you dependant on it. Only true caring , the correct way of loving you and yourself by either you or true friends around you can heal your soul, which is why we suffer a mental breakdown, because we are so hurted in the soul that physically we are showing weird symptoms. these symptoms are the by-product of our past experiences which accumulated over the years of your whole life. even though in a way it is ok to behave that way but in a way not. because in one way or the way, that is you, how you felt, even though it doesn’t reflect the reality that we lived in.
so my way of doing things are:
- exercise quite regularly (my colleague life dumbbells at home, but for me i walk around place and explore while carrying a rather heavy bag to add weigh)
- escape the environment which is causing your depressed form, (either mind or emotionally), maybe can try spending lesser time at the environment that is causing the pain?
- find true friends, people whom understands and yet accepts you as who you are, while correcting you at the right times. and they are the ones that doesn’t judge you nor label you.
- learn to protect yourself, don’t give others chance to hurt you. you hold this power in your hands, don’t give others the power over you.
- find extra help if you need like going to a social worker for more advise and help or emotional support, find more allies that stand with you spiritually and emotionally.
- Try to find what sleep patterns suits you, different people sleep time might varies.
so long you try to achieve most of it, the effects can be great. just do it at your own pace your own style
so a further break down of things here
- exercise to a certain point and time, you body would release a dophamine which makes you feel happy somehow. it’s one of the easiest way to regulate happiness to your body on regular basis, which helps increases better mood.
- escaping an environment that is causing the hurts or recurring your past experiences is a good way of putting a stop to things from being accumalated, so you are stopping further problems from “gathering”
- true friends would try to empatize you rather than CHANGE you, which is much more benefitial to us
- learning how to reject and retaliate with logical reasonings stop further damage to yourself emotionally and mentally
- additional help is good because some of the social workers are trained to help people that have certain issues yet have no others to turn to
- sufficient sleep proven to eliminate the chemical produced when one burns the night oil which causes one to be easily vexed and angered (my country had midnight to morning shift jobs, one of my colleagues displayed such atittude even though he was quite an ok person so it’s been proven true)
Meds haven’t helped me at all
Yeah, me neither… but I almost have no pdoc now ,its scary… I spent ten years with my main one, trying really everything from the side of the meds and she ended up by saying that the zyprexa gave me what it should be and that I’ll probably suffer all my life lol… this pdoc couldn’t even get me out of my home in which I remained for 20 years… now I go out a bit but only alone, only in my neighborhood and for 15 minutes in usual… I turned into a psycho and I feel alone on this in this forum… maybe I got some borderline traits too idk…or it’s just how paranoid sz is… I’ll try to fight still yeap… but I realize now how destroyed I was for more than 20 years… it’s just been too long, I still cant change sometimes while I am extremely alone… but whatever. I hear you pianogal 
I really believe too that I made the tour of the meds, I really tried to get better with them but this didn’t happen really… one guy helps me more now than the meds I find… I take the zyprexa, without it I would pee on myself in the bed (sorry for the expression), but it really was like this… but gosh, it’s still a weak help I guess…I stop complaining now, but sometimes it’s scary to feel so much pain and just wonder what to take to stop it… I dont wanna to take meds so easily now as before… but yeap,am still at home,probably bad physically too now etc…
What symptoms did the meds not improve?
Antipsychotics are for positive symptoms only.
There is no meds for negative and cognitive symptoms.
Idk…not much the somatics… nor even the suffering… or the lack of energy in my evenings…not so much the paranoia I find too. Just a few… once my doc said that I have paranoid sz with mostly negative symptoms yeah… but can it be so hard to the point of not having a life since 25 years lol? Yeah… sorry, I know many suffer too but the docs said also I am a hard case …
I have been staying in bed all day everyday, only get up to eat for 9 years since I got diagnosed. In bed I either sleep or on this forum. I was suicidal at the beginning but I accepted that I am sick and need meds for life eventhough meds cause negatives.
My life quality is better on meds than without.
Without meds I was scared of ppl even my family and I am homicidal and suicidal.
I see… I am a bit the same way too… yeah,meds give me a minimum of reason. They lowered a bit my anger too, i agree… i am probably just tough still yeap… yes, i try to accept that i am ill, even though its since I was kid…
Did you try Strattera? I am asking my psychiatrist about it. It increases dopamine only in the prefrontal cortex. A user here said it worked for him and I read it can be helpful for negative symptoms.
I’m sorry. You seem like you’re really suffering. In some ways I am too. I’ve tried everything but clozapine. I’m not a good candidate for clozapine so Loxapine, which is closely related to clozapine, is my only hope.
I dont believe so much in meds for me… my pdoc also said there are no meds for my negatives… plus, at the slightest uplifting med, my paranoia goes to the roof if you see
Abilify worked for me I had no negative symptoms, normal life, but it gave me addiction and hypersexuality issues. I hope they make a med like Abilify without its side effects…
Well, I wasn’t realizing it before but I think my father was a tough psycho… he was beating my sister and my mom till they bleed from all over etc…m maybe I am a psycho too… yeap, I suffered a lot…but I guess, I have to change now
Abilify made me agitated, more anxious and paranoid… here in Bulgaria now, we have since not so long this new med “Reagila”. The docs say it’s the improved abilify… but the abilify wasn’t for me neither the others…I tolerate only zyprexa and I tried 11 other apps for these ten years with my doc…
Here its called Rexulti, did you try it? I read it causes less anxiety and agitation than Abilify.
But the US and Canada government put warning on both for addiction and hypersexuality issues so my psychiatrist doesn’t want to try it.
Meds didnt do much for me either. Maybe its all mental whether meds help you or not. Like, if you are against them and have negative thoughts about them , they will make you worse.
I was completely against them when I had my forced injection and they still worked for me…so I would have to disagree with that.