It’s like everything is fake around me in my every day life. I don’t trust people anymore. I just want to be coddled and cry. I don’t know how to do deal with these intense emotions, self medicating looks pretty good right now.
I’m sorry to be a bother, but how can I sit with these awful feelings?
I don’t know the right answer but just knowing your boyfriend cares enough to get you back to reality is a good thing. Do you have a therapist?
I don’t trust anyone either. It seems like I might make a friend they want something from me usually money. The last time I had two other people attack me calling me a lair and abuser. Does my forehead have a target on it. I just want a friend to talk too. I’m not looking for a relationship just a friend.
Don’t self medicate @Winterblues!
Yea I have a therapist, I just talk about what ever is on my mind and cant get anything through about my meds, its like she cuts me off and doesn’t tell the doctor.
it takes a toll on him and he drinks, which totally upsets me. I cant deal with it. It’s not fair to him though cause last night I held onto him until I fell asleep because I couldn’t even focus or say anything right. These episodes suck, they really hinder our relationship, hes only one person, and he needs coping skills too
I’m sorry. life isn’t fair. I have a target too. all my life, and most of my issues in social situations have to do with shitty friends in high school
I just want to feel numb @Wave, I hate having all these feelings and no one that doesn’t understand
If my therapist didn’t let me talk about the most important issues to me I’d request a different therapist. I recently met two different ones and decided against both. I’m waiting to be reassigned again. It’s imperative that you can talk about things important to you during your sessions and that your pdoc is copied on it
I’m worried I wont like the one I get assigned to. We talked about going to a firework show I had no plans on going to, she google mapped it, and explained how to get there, and I was just being nice acting interested even though I knew my bf didn’t want to go, I’m a pushover and I don’t talk about important issues. And we talked about the park.
My other therapist I get assigned to probably wont see me every 2 weeks, and I need that too. Standard treatment is one month
Well, maybe you can work on talking about your bigger issues a little bit at a time.
Yea I like her, and I’m afraid for someone new. I’ll try, its like I’m ignoring them too because it’s always upbeat and she told me not to be negative anymore
Well maybe you could approach negativity differently. You could say I’m having negative thoughts and I was wondering if you could help me see things in a more constructive and positive light.
I would be concerned if he wasn’t trying to get you back to reality. You say you want to be coddled and cry and that’s a normal feeling. Most people want to feel loved and comforted as well as having a secure place. However, how much time are you expecting to be coddled? If you become too needy you could push him away. Everyone needs their own space and no one wants to feel smothered. You have to be able to stand on your own two feet and contribute or he’s going to keep drinking and getting frustrated. I say this as I’ve been there and ended up pushing people away that I loved because of needing to be coddled and relying on them too much. My ex said I put too much pressure on him to make me happy and if the situation were reversed I’d run for the hills from someone expecting to much from me as I need my space to.
Ok I will from now on, thanks
The fact that he wants to help you back into reality is a good thing. Don’t beat yourself up because of all the bad symptoms you are having. We are sick it’s not everyday is going to be perfect.
Sounds like you’re the future me, I am pushing him away. Thanks for the wisdom. How do you deal with the feelings of being alone now?. He’s downstairs drinking and I want to feel numb because depression is like maximized right now
That’s just what I find difficult about little children - they are ALWAYS forcing me to be aware and I don’t want to be. I want to dream and be comfortable and, yes, I want to be lazy. I could do with a boost in my strength of character.
Well we got back together, but he passed away a month ago at 43 from a heart attack. I’m completely devastated. He still has my heart and letting him go is impossible! Being single doesn’t bother me. I have a great family and two dogs that I love more then life and I work. I am a hermit (I don’t teally leave the house as much as I should because of my depression) I have very little interest in doing things. I do self medicate and I don’t advocate for anyone to do that because it can be a slippery slope.