I suffer because I think I am condamned to remain like this. I often look at others (even on tv) and ask myself what is the reality. I dont have hallucinations at all but maybe there are some schizophrenics like this… my main question is will I succeed to regain some happy life with all my stupid questions? I dont know a stuff anymore of what is being normal… can the meds help me to feel adequate? yeah, you told me not to copare myself to other ill people but all my sick friends doesn’t torment theirselfs with questions of this type… but they often say some wrong things ( for example, my schizo sex buddy told me that the compassion is a wickness which I dont find right yeah 
)…
Anna! 
yeah, I am funny isn’t it? but to be honest with you, I often look for a signs of madness in my ill friends. but yeah- thinking that compassion is a sign of wickness its not normal I guess. this guy wasn’t nice to me I find. but I didn’t said anything the last time again…
I think your funny. Wow 
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I mostly look like an idiot right now I guess… yeah… the reason is hard for us I guess.
ive also cried today a lot because my mother goes to a vacation for 10 days. I am pathologically attached to her, its a kind of feeling something that I would like to fuse with her, why this??? wow… maybe I cant integrate the father figure cause he was ill and aggressive too… but no, no therapy can help me for my fried brain wow
Maybe go outside and hang out with a friend. Like a picnic…
Your lucky you don’t hear voices.
I guess I suffer from being me still. its not nice to live with my thoughts… I suffer a lot too… it will be a miracle if ill survive in better through this… for the others, who hear voices, dont lose hope cause I lived between 4 walls for the last 15 years, it wasn’t a life either…