There is no out. Life is so hard, and I feel inadequate and incompetent to live it. When I married and had kids, I didn’t anticipate struggling in the ways I have. I can’t do it. Suicide seems like the only way out.
Suicide is never the way out. Hang in there. Be honest with yourself and your doctors. 
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I’m not trying to complain. Everyone here struggles with so much and seems to be doing so well. There are a lot of fighters here. I’m not trying to be negative.
I just don’t see another option. I have a husband and two kids. They need me. I can’t help them anymore.
You have a husband and kids. They do need you. My son is 24 and still needs me. I won’t leave him here, I’ve decided.
You’re struggling right now, but you’ve had better days. Better days will come again. I promise. You’re just as strong as any of us. Hold on and get through one more hour, then one more night and day… you can do it. I’ve done it. I’m 52 now, and I’m really really glad I didn’t kill myself any of the times I thought I should.
Stay here.
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What if better days don’t come? What if I only get worse?
I don’t feel happy ever. I always feel confused, either from the illness or the side effects of medication. I always feel off.
Do you feel like you? Will I ever feel like me again?
I’m not trying to argue. I just really want to overdose on Lithium. Everyday I fail my husband and kids. I am never good enough. I can’t imagine them having me as a Mama for ever. They’ll be so sad since I fail them every day.
Suicide is not the way out. It is permanent - there’s no coming back. It is a very final, ever lasting. You’ve got all the time in the world to be dead one day. The time you have now is limited. I understand that you are struggling. I’ve been there too and even attempted suicide. Not my finest moment for sure, but i felt very much like you - that things were hopeless, that i was useless and that things wouldn’t change. However, they do. You’re going through a rough patch, but there are still good times to be had. Things improved for me, and i’m sure things will improve for you. Just be honest with your doctors, and maybe even tell your husband how he feels. You may be surprised to know that he doesn’t see you in a negative light at all. Look after yourself.
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Nothing last forever. Things will change. It’s inevitable. You will have better days. You shown your strength making it this far. You can’t quit now. You are so strong for making it this far. You can keep going. Your family needs you. The universe needs you. Stay here. Keep fighting the good fight. We’re right here with you.
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it’s a hard life
it’s the only one we’ve got
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It sounds like you’re really struggling with depression. Do you take an anti-depressant? Also, do you have a therapist or counselor that could help walk you through the initial depression of coming to terms with our condition? These two things have helped me a lot. Talking to a psych doc about meds and to my counselor about all I go through. She is very helpful for me.
I’m so sorry your struggling with this. I really feel for you.
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Here’s something that will put things in perspective, maybe. The guy in the vid – Larrie – is a friend of mine. We’ve gone shooting together. I would not trade my problems for his. I’m amazed at how well he’s doing when you look at the entirety of his situation.
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@melmel7
I do talk to a counselor. I feel better and motivated when I am there. But then I leave and realize how hard life is.
I’m not depressed. I’m just incompetent.
Hang in there. Ì feel so much the same way. Our kids truly do need us and look beyond our flaws. I’ve tried ending my life and it is hell on earth. It doesn’t make anything better. You are important on here too.
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I know how you feel Louise. I’ve been there. Only thing I can offer like others have said that nothing is permanent. Today is my first day on this forum and your kind words have given me hope and a sense of belonging. If you can do that for a stranger on the Internet I’m sure you do that for your family. Living with psychosis, the side effects of meds and everything else is very tough. But you have it in you to do it. All of us do even when we don’t see it. The one thing that has kept me here is the hope that things will get better and that all of this suffering is not in vain. It may not get better right away, but you won’t feel like this forever. Remember your good days. Give your loved ones a hug. You are wanted and important.
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@FlyingPurplePeopleMeeter Just be kind and patient with yourself. I hope you’re able to stay safe tonight.
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why did the plumber walk out the bar quickly?
He didn’t want to get his pipes cleaned.
The clock on the wall says 1 o’clock
and the man says, Am I the only one down?
Teenage girl wears heavy long dangling earrings and teenage boy says
I bet you can’t weight.
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You are loved and needed. Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t get better, or do something. High functioning schizophrenics can do anything!
It’s like walking on a tight rope. You suck at it at first and everyone is like omg he/she is gonna fall. But years later you can walk across it like it’s nothing, like it’s the floor.
I had an old man story to fit in there but I’ll spare you 
Please be safe and know you have lots of resources out there to help. Also you definitely do not sound incompetent.
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Please give it one more night.
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