I closed myself so much in my head, that it sucks… Idk if its the illness or the isolation. In your opinion? Maybe the isolation had some consequences on this. Its not good to live so much time isolated and alone. not good to think sooo much…
But I would like to feel something different faster… I am getting old you know and I have absolutely no life. I could have passed on the news for the joke… Like the girl who spent almost 17 years between 4 walls. Ok, I swallowed this, but I don’t want to waste another years like this.
Do you live also a lot in your head? Did it get better, how?
I recently raised my ap, maybe at the end I need bigger doses…
I raised my Zyprexa to diminish my paranoia, but I am not sure its working… Pfff, its too much what I have but its a pity the meds are not a big help for me… But if only my paranoia was slightly better, I could have go out easily. Are there a lot of people for whom the aps don’t work on the paranoia? But without the Zyprexa, its even worse…
I feel like I live in my head a lot, too.
I just have to force myself to get out there in the real world and have some real experiences,
You have to do the same.
Start small and push yourself.
2 Likes
ok, I know goldenrex. I really try, but imagine, after 2 decades of isolation you would have gone real crazy too. I cant control my paranoia, I suffocate literally by fear outside…
2 Likes
I just have nothing in my life, goldenrex… and I am just waisting time… Its normal to want some life cause I didn’t have it since 2 decades…
1 Like
Of course its normal to want a life!
Its not going to be easy after living in isolation for 17 years, but its still possible.
You just have to push yourself and take baby steps every day.
1 Like
I am the only dumb on earth who had such ■■■■■■■ kind of ‘‘patience’’… I was dumb, yeap. I should have screamed for help earlier or something like this… But nobody didn’t have a father as mine, who was beating my mom and my sister when they were complaining… So I went dumb. The others around me treated me as dumb too. Now I am just an idiot. And yes, no other sz didn’t spent so much at his house, its unfair 
. Now, nobody wants me. neither the guys, neither my friends… and I am just disappointed and disgusted by everything…
1 Like
it will take me years to recover if its possible. I am tired of being judge as idiot by my friends… I am getting old goldenrex, I am afraid from the time…
1 Like
You are not old,
We’re practically the same age.
There’s still time to make the right changes and have a fuller life.
1 Like
yeah but the difference is that you are far better than me. My head is mess, my emotions are terrible, I still live in hell and in the brief moments of lucidity, I just see how much efforts Ill have to do. its not you who spent 17 years like me… ■■■■ my family, they destroyed me… I rarely saw such a dumb schizophrenic as me… I see this in the eyes of my friends. they have pity for me, they treat me as dumb, I know this… I want to live for god sake! How much time it will take me???
You don’t give any way for someone to talk to you.Make a space for advice…You’re not that dumb,you just mix everything all together in one moment and can’t find way out.
ok… I am here zoa…
Try to unwind everything you said.It’s not all together.You have issues,but not the same kind.On one side is illness,on the other family,others are friends.You can choose what or who will you deal each day.
1 Like
ok… I guess I come from far. I still want to die sometimes without really wanting it… Life can be beautiful, but my past was hellish I find. Its hard to digest this wow…
I lost many friends through years,had mind breaks,and live in same area that you live and our health systems are far beyond decent.But me,for example,every night like now try to look deeper into my emotional life and find what really hurts and often that are friends and family.This world will not give you anything because people think you are weak,stupid and lazy.You can’t explain to them what your emotional situation is like cause they don’t understand and don’t want to.
I try not to expect anything anymore from the others in my life now. But I just have those episodes, maybe its some kind of lucidity too… Its hard to have had a psycho dad. I turned into psycho also. I have paranoia cause I feel like a bad person too. I can be bad I guess without realizing it. But sometimes, I was a bit too good also, weak probably… you are from Bulgaria? wow… destiny. we were born and raised here.
Next to you.I live in Belgrade.
1 Like
I go to sleep.Are you ok?
1 Like
yes I am fine. Go to sleep zoa 
Hugs
2 Likes
Coming out of head is a must but very hard attaining,
Even many of so called normal people are encaged in their own heads by pure logic,
1 Like