Idk my minds in a really dark place right now and I’m trying my best to cope but I’m worried I’m losing the battle. My voices are saying very nasty things and I’m just not sure I can take it. I feel like I’m really not supposed to be alive right now. Idk what to do today has been so horrible I just don’t know.
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Do you take benzos, they make the pain go away and make you feel normal. They can also help you get to sleep and escape in that way,
Other than that, if you have the attention span go watch some interesting movies or something, really get yourself hyped up for the movie in your mind and enjoy it. Choose something uplifting which helps you forget the voices.
Or read a good book, something which tickles your fancy. I personally like books written far away or long ago. So there is an element of escapism.
If you can’t do anything else I would suggest talking to someone, externalizing bad feelings can be a well needed release. I talk to my sister, I don’t tell her all the dark perverted stuff that is going on in my head, but I sort of tiptoe around it and sometimes she listens to me. Afterward I always feel a little better, then I can go to sleep.
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I can’t take meds I don’t really know what benzos are though? But pills are very stressful to me and tonight I would have to avoid pills cause I’m scared I’d just try to take them all at once… sorry for being so dark.
I don’t really have the attention span for a movie I tried watching some YouTube stuff and I could barely make it through a 10 minute video
I guess I could try to read but again the attention span probably won’t help that.
I don’t have anyone to talk to really. Otherwise I would try that I just hate this I’m so alone and I’m stuck and nobody in my life cares I swear I could just disappear and nobody would notice or they’d just be annoyed by it. I’m sorry
Thank you for suggesting things though hugs
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I don’t want to call a line though. Cause they’ll probably force me to go to a hospital or something and I really really don’t want that. Also can we not use that 6 letter c word right now? It brings up some bad memories.
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I think the med’s would be a good alternative for you right now. I think you might need a little chemical help getting out of your present frame of mind. At least consider it.
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I think your best bet would be to sleep on it and hope that your brain is normal again when you wake up. Do you take melatonin or any other sleep aid (sorry if tablets are tough, these are tablets usually). If not at the drug store I think they have liquid melatonin drops. Normal sleep schedule is very essential to maintaining normalcy with sz. Listen to what @Ninjastar and @Moonbeam have to say last of all. They have experience talking people down from some of the stuff which goes on.
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No literally if I see a pill/pill bottle right now it will put me in the worst possible state and i will probably do something incredibly stupid. Pill are a huge trigger for me even thinking about them right now is scaring me i dont want to thi k about tgem im sorry
How about writing in a journal or drawing. It always helps me calm down. Even when I’m really depressed. I totally understand about the pills. Do you have anyone you can talk to? Talking about things also helps.
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Sz is like a bad trip, have you ever had a bad trip or a nightmare? Most of the time you just wait it out, the human mind is incredibly resilient, in a couple days/weeks you will have forgotten how low you were today. So wait it out just like a bad trip, or a nightmare which you can wake up from and forget. Of course it is neither of these things but pretending a little here and there never hurt anybody.
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I want to sleep but i am so painfully awke right now. Between my ribs and my memories I can’t do it I’m so frustrated I want to cry but it hurts too much. I hate this so much every time I start to relax a little I keep remembering things. And I jolted awake and it was so painful.
I can’t do that sleep aid it’s linked to my trauma especially extra.
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you sound very delusional…you should not be afraid of your meds…don’t hurt yourself bud…
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I’ll try drawing some more I guess it might calm me downhopefully. I don’t have anyone to talk to though.
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I keep having nightmares is the problem and I’m in so much pain cause I cracked my ribs and I can’t even breathe with out pain right now but I’m too messed up to take a painkiller cause I know ill panic if I try to take one and I might hurt my ribs or myself. I’m trying to wait everything out but it’s all way to much right now my mind and body are so messed up right now
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imho you need something to put your brain to sleep, maybe just natural sleep maybe a benzo. Benzo’s are tiny tablets which usually take effect very quickly and just make you feel totally okay, even euphoric. The difference is actually quite dramatic.
IF a pharmaceutical benzo doesn’t help consider taking a natural benzo, like turning off the lights, laying down and closing your eyes. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ve been through it before and are tough and can get through it again.
Saphris, a sublingual antipsychotic is another option, it has a calming effect and isn’t in tablet form. Its like a little wafer you put under your tongue and it dissolves and makes you feel better immediately by turning off all the adrenaline. (it tastes terrible though)
You can take benzos the same way, sublingually without swallowing. Ativan is a tiny tablet, more like a speck. Sorry if you find this triggering, sometimes any input at all is stressful.
Just know we care about you and know you’r suffering, it isn’t a small matter when your own thoughts begin to attack you. And I feel real sympathy for you, we’ve mostly been there too.
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How do I sound delusional?! I just want all this pain to stop I’m trying so hard not to panic or do something irreversible. I don’t even have meds to take I’m traumatized from meds I can’t take them without having something bad happen. I’m trying to not hurt myself but I’m questioning if it’s worth it.
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You mean that your ribs are actually cracked? If so, you have to see a doctor. I’m sorry… But they can help with the physical part of it…
It’s totally worth NOT hurting yourself. We all love you on this forum. Please stick with us.
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o k…maybe you’re just really upset and it sounds like you are delusional…you shouldn’t be afraid of taking meds dude…it’s the only thing that can help you…
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I can’t do pills god I want to cry. I’m sorry I know you’re just trying to help I know that in probably any other thing like this it would help but it will literally just push me that extra bit that I can’t handle right now I’m sorry also I have none of these things so I can’t do them even if I could.
I can’t even really lay down properly because of my ribs I’m so uncomfortable. Thank you for the sympathy thank you for trying I’m sorry I’m being so difficult you’re being so nice about this I feel like such an ■■■■■■■ . I’m sorry
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Just being on the forum can be therapeutic I’ve found. As in, you know, you feel like you’re among people who’ve been through something similar. That isn’t a delusion, many of us have dealt with dysphoria, anxiety, panic attacks, you name it. We’ve suffered hell and back many of us.
So you’re doing the right thing, just keep getting your thoughts out, keep talking about it. Even if you don’t feel better, even if it lasts several, hours, days, weeks, it will likely get better at some point.
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