Because buying a multimillion dollar home in California isn’t an option right now,
We rent a nice house in California.
Our landlords are super kind and maintain our landscaping for a little extra rent.
(I think they enjoy it and also checking in on the house from time to time)
About twice a month they spend about 2-3 hours in the yard.
My problem is,
That makes me almost panicky paranoid.
Having people around my house, making my dogs nervous (so I can’t use them as a grounding technique) and inspecting everything is beyond what I can handle for some reason.
My husband keeps telling me I have no reason to be paranoid and it’s true.
We’re excellent tenants.
The only thing they could take issue with is a door screen we accidently broke a couple weeks ago and plan to replace soon anyway.
Not a big deal.
Even if they wanted to come inside it wouldn’t be a problem.
Why do I feel like this?
Is it just like an invasion of privacy I can’t handle or the disruption to my schedule?
Regardless it’s a big issue every time.
They’ll be here today and I’m already nervous.
Does anyone understand/have advice?
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I would call it excessive worry/anxiety.
Try some breathing exercises or a benzo would be my recommendation.
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I don’t like it when people hang around either. I just find it more peaceful in my state of mind when the mowers etc aren’t here.
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I totally understand the feeling.
My nurse and therapist show up at my house weekly now. It can feel like you are on display.
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I could take an extra benzo, but I don’t like doing that.
I’m already on a high dosage of that stuff and really shouldn’t take more.
And I already do that sometimes, it doesn’t seem to help as much as I’d like.
Breathing exercises are good for a few minutes at a time.
But with my dogs in a panic, it’s difficult to focus.
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It’s because living somewhere nice is a really big deal to you and you don’t want them to evict you. I’d call it anxiety/fear. It’s natural to have. I think anyone would feel pressure. We are just exceptional in that those feelings of pressure can ignite a fire inside us. Maybe take an extra anxiety med today.
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It would make me nervous too but I have issues with anxiety and paranoia. Have you tried aromatherapy? Maybe use iheart radio on your tv and put on spa music, while using aromatherapy. That’s what I’d do.
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I would consider removing broccoli from your diet on the days that they visit as well
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You could also try talking to them. Confront your fear. Tell them you get worried when they come. Great things can come from conversation and honesty.
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Lavender oil is supposed to be great for relaxation. I use aromatherapy as well.
Exercising might also help btw.
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I think this plays a role.
They have no reason to evict us, but when you rent you’re at the mercy of whatever they want to do or is in their best interest.
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I make it a point to talk to them every time they come to the house.
Also I make them a pastry from fruit/herbs in the yard most the time.
They love it.
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Well they just aren’t ANY people hanging around. They are the landlords. So you have to tolerate it somehow. Yeah, owning your own home would be great because then you have more privacy. I think you are more nervous because they have the power to kick you out. That’s a normal concern to have. So to some extent your nervousness is to be expected. But if you have a good relationship with them, you don’t need to have that fear.
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Maybe dont have oz playing while they visit lol.
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Yeah. With anxiety you think anything is possible. I used to get paranoid doing delivery for an app. I’d think cops were going to pull me over constantly! Then I got on a stronger anxiety med and I haven’t been paranoid yet. It was just a fear of something that could happen vs reality of what would happen
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Oh wow. See you are already doing great things! No worries my man. Try to do something distracting. I understand anxiety. It killed me for a long time. I have a lot of posts on here being miserable with anxiety. Sometimes nothing works. You just gotta deal.
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I can’t imagine one thing in “Oz” that would be offensive to a nice, conservative older couple.
Haha!
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I had a landlord when I first moved back home that came and picked up the rent every month in person. Drove me batty. I moved.
And then got a place where the guy never fixed anything. Some cats got in our attic and had kittens. We had to cut a hole in the wall and get them out.
I bought a house. Renting is too much and just throwing away money. But California is ridiculously expensive. I used to own a home in San Diego. Sold it in 2015 for a loss. Good riddance. It’s finally worth more than what we paid for it though. Maybe we should have kept it.
Good luck. 
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I have some of the same and it could be my being an Aspie. Don’t know. We hired out having our yard done last year and I had massive anxiety each time they came to mow. Amazon delivering things at random times makes me nuts. I like to know who is coming, exactly when, and for how long. People who ignore the no soliciting sign and ring the front doorbell get verbally abused for the disruption they cause me.
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Have you tried buspar? Its not a benzo but it helps with anxiety. I take 30mg twice a day to help with my anxiety. I take the second dose around 4 so it actually helps during the day too, and not just waste it while im sleeping.
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