Schizophrenia.com

I do not believe in marriage


#1

Don’t make me lose my mind by telling me it’s a worthy institution.


#2

It helps hold society together, I think.


#3

By alienating the individual?


#4

To an extent that’s what society does for the good of the ‘whole.’


#5

Well the only way it could benefit society would be by scaring or boring people out of the house and getting them involved in the community.


#6

Why do you not believe in marriage?


#7

Human beings are not monogamous animals. People confuse an initial biochemical based attraction with love. It takes years to truly know someone well enough to be in love. It is rare and most marriages don’t make it because the participants didn’t know what they were getting into.

Part of the problem is the lie of the happily ever after. Relationships are like living organisms. They are born, they live for awhile, and they die. We have been taught since early childhood that every relationship we have whether it is a friendship or romantic partnership should be perfect and last forever. They don’t tell you that the death of a relationship is just as natural as its beginning.

However I have seen a couple really good marriages. When I see certain couples it makes me think that I would like to be a part of something as deep as that. Instead of hating marriage I guess you could say it is more important to me to have the real thing then jump into something that is doomed to failure.


#8

I had a couple friends in psychiatry(married) tell me that exact thing. While I agree it sets some needed boundaries, I think there could be other ways of accomplishing that. It would be nice to know the history of “family”.
I personally get a cold feeling when I hear the word, so it’s hard for me to find meaning in these kind of departments.


#9

Your wrong. Look up monogamous animals. #somepeople love to believe in crap and push their way threw.


#10

I witnessed my parent’s marriage.


#11

I’m not saying there aren’t monogamous animals. I’m saying humans are not one of them. Look at our closest genetic relatives. They are not monogamous and neither were prehistoric humans.


#12

And i witnessed my parents. People like us, still alive, bet the government hates it.


#13

Humans are free to think what they want but if your can’t stay faithful you should start praying to doesn’t exist anymore.


#14

??

How so?

I do happen to believe in marriage and faithfulness.
I don’t see how it alienates. I personally have no desire to associate with a lot of people, just with the one I love.


#15

I’m sorry that my opinion is upsetting you. That is not my intention. However, an overwhelming majority of social and evolutionary scientists believe that humans are by nature not monogamous. I’m not thinking what I want. I’m listening to the people who study this their entire lives and conventional science. You have the right to your opinion and who is to say that yours is any less valid than mine. But please don’t phrase your opinion and personally held beliefs as the end all be all answer.


#17

@chordy This is a quote I always think of when I come across a bad marriage. “If you cannot find a good companion to walk with, walk alone, like an elephant roaming the jungle. It is better to be alone than to be with those who will hinder your progress.”


#18

Partly true… Someone I was with over 3 years ditched me one too many times and i decided for once not to follow up and go after her… She even had wanted me not to give up and to go after her which i had done in the past, going against a lot of odds to break the spell certain people had on her.
But what was happening is i couldn’t work, we were just traveling around, could never settle, and were having to live with various friends or in the car.

So after she left the final time i decided to work and save, ended up meeting someone 2 years later and we continued to work and save and built a house. I highly doubt I would have ever accomplished that had I kept chasing after someone who almost seemed to be playing a game that they wanted to be rescued from others manipulations…


#20

@e_lunaseer Good for you. It is always a great accomplishment when two people form a strong, compassionate bond. That is not only true for the two involved but the world in general. One of my favorite books said that when a person becomes more mindful so do those around him. In my opinion a good relationship has the same kind of effect.


#21

Ok here is my take on marriage. First of all many people get married for selfish reasons - they are in love with the old romantic view of marriage (this rarely exists today) Marriage can work but it takes a lot of work and dedication and patience - something I need to work on. Marriage is also very stressful for many people living with a severe mental illness - it can destabilize, at least it did for me. many people marry just so they can have kids - not a good idea to marry just for this reason alone. Finally divorce is way too common and convenient for many today.
Marriage can work but it can also be like living in a prison, it really all depends


#22

It’s all about finding a worthy person.

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