After a talk with my mother i feel again like i am not fighting. I go out very few even when it comes to the food shop… I bug up on some subjects, my envy is sometimes to the roof. and the worse of all, is that i spend 15 years like this… those 15 years bringed me to this point. Do i have my chances in your opinion? Can you have an opinion on this according to my writing here?
Idk, accept this illness but i feel a little bit guilty that i am in this state. even my doc said to me that i gave up in the past, thats why i am in this state…
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Anna i am sure u find peace and prosperity soon
…i know u are struggling …!!! I appreciate u anna1 …!!! Lots of love from nepal.!!!
how it will happen far? I am not sure that those meds are helping…
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Have you read some more about BPD ?
Causes, symptoms, treatment…
I think BPD is the root of your worst problems.
How about changing meds …are u satisfied with zyprexa…u can consider changing med …
@Andrey, I dont think that my ex pdoc had it wrong… she was very experienced. I dont think I am BPD… I am just too lonely since 2 decades and it made me a lot worse… the best trt for bpd is dialectical psychotherapy. my mother says that with my bugging, it wont help me…
Far, ive tried all aps. For my doc, I respond well only to Zyprexa.
I think you need therapy anyways to learn to control your emotions and to get over these unhealthy ruminations about past years and about the future.
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It comes from letting go of the petty stuff keeping you where you are and dragging you back in the hole ehen you start doing better.
You gotta let go of the insecurities and the fear before you can make any real progress. And ehat sucks is the longer you stay the harder it is to grow and change but it is possible.
Rationalize things… yeah sometimes just the thought of being in a public place will make you lock you and panic . But get a grip and think ehat in all honesty is the worst that can happen? You’re fearful of being tense or hearing someone laugh or make fun of you. Just be kind and genuine, in reality you have nothing to hide. You make be a little shaky and quiet of red in the face but ■■■■ it. Take it day by day don’t try too hard but don’t completely give out.
The thing is about meds is that they aren’t a cure they only mask or lower symptoms. You can’t use them as a crutch and fall back on them. The key is to draw a line between self pity and self understanding
am I the worse case here in the meaning of bugging? I am more tired of complaining now that I am on bigger dose lol… in my illness I was hard to others, but hard to myself too… I dont know what got wrong with me to be like this now… ill since kid, its not nothing…
Thank you @Gonehuntin for the answer :). I dont really want to say it again but I miss so much the air on my skin outside, the sun… and now, I cant go out. No way to do it after all the screams with my mother…
You’re fine this forum is hear to help people. I was encouraging myself while trying to encouraging you aswell. Just gotta keep reaching higher
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That’s all just in your head no one would keep thst in mind even if they did hear it. Everyone has their own lives and business.
You’re practically one of the most innocent people on this planet. Take pride in that.
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in your opinion guys, do the recovery on meds sometimes is quite slow and invisible for myself too?
The only thing that I see for better on a bigger dosage now is that my ‘‘bad’’ almost physical energy, which is hard to explain, is lower…
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Then how do you explain the jealousy, the envy, the anger, the conflicting thoughts? Most people with just schizophrenia don’t have them.
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I am not sure that they dont have it… do you know more in psychiatry than my doc? what if some schizophrenics have them Andrey? why a doc would call me with one diagnosis if its not the right one?
I don’t know what your doctor knows. Did you ask him directly “do I have BPD?” And he answered “no” ??
Also, I have read more articles in psychiatry in the last 3 years, than all my pdocs combined. I used to read a few hours every day. So I know a few things.
You probably have schizophrenia, yes. But also BPD.
jealousy/ anger/ rage… it could also be Paranoid Personality Disorder right? i wonder cos i used to have that and was diagnosed with that…
come on, schizophrenics have anger… I saw some documentaries on real patients me too…
for the envy I am not sure.
two illnesses? nice… I am a mess.
Maybe now, but you don’t have to give up.
You are still young and if you take the right steps you can get much better.
yes, tbh my envy is quite big, yes… I functioned like this for years… did I lack love in my family? for my mom, this bad character comes from the bad family of my father… she says they were bad people…
is it normal to feel bad even on meds after a year on them? I should have passed the phase of feeling down on them isn’t it?
yes, sometimes I am tired… I realize how many things I skipped in my life…
How did you treat your PPD, @anon7022989 ??
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