Last visit at doctors was semi positive semi negative. She said it’s “pseudoneurotic schizophrenia”
Overall its SZ with lots of anxiety and OCD thoughts.
Actually, I feel powerless. I cannot accept in my own head that I have condition.
Idk how many years it will take for me to accept that I am mentally ill.
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Do you wish to cease taking your meds?
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Actually now I am not sure. One doctor told me its lifelong what I have and I shouldn’t stop taking meds,
While this doctor who consults me for a long time said maybe there’s a possibility after a period of time.
But I am afraid she just doesn’t want to tell the whole story.
She is like… waiting for the right moment to tell I am really ill for a life.
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I would take what your pdoc says at face value.
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Maybe. I trust her but I also know she doesn’t want to make me feel worse,
So I believe she tries to give me hope, but realistically the hope is very little
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You can still live a good life w meds. And lots of people get better in there 40s i hope for that
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I am afraid for one thing - that my insight will get worse and worse 
But I am happy (and my doctor aggreed with that) that I almost don’t have negative symptoms. So probably they will not appear suddenly
I am happy that I am in this forum and I can share these things. 
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Do you have access to psychotherapy?
Maybe look into Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help you understand and manage and live with your illness and symptoms. ACT, CBT and support therapy has been helping me a lot.
I still suffer, but I am able to take care of things, get through the day. I wouldn’t be able to without support. For me, my symptoms are chronic and will be a life long challenge.
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Yes, my pdoc said I can go to psychologist for free for a one year. Also, I could make an agreement with that psychologist to do also psychoteraphy sessions.
I think I really need to go to psychologist/psychotherapist just for one reason - I need to talk with someone.
But… my last therapy sessions was a nonsense. That psychologist didn’t understood me - so now I am afraid that no psychologist could get me.
I am also doing kind of… okay I would say, only that I am also an emotional rollercoaster. And sometimes I am paranoid.
Thanks for an advise
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Pseudoneurotic schizophrenia is only a label. But it doesn’t define you as a person. With the right meds you can live a very normal life. I know it takes time, but it’s not impossible.
I was so many years thinking: I’m schizophrenic, I’m schizophrenic, oh my God. It’s the end of the world.
But now I can live my life not being obsessed with a label, with a diagnosis.
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I also think I should stop labeling myself.
Its really annoying, because some mornings I woke up and the first thought in my head is “I am ill”. 
I believe acceptance is a key, but It’s very hard for me.
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I want to do this as well
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There’s no cure for schizophrenia, but we can recover, we can find stability and that’s important.
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When I stop the antipsychotic, at first I feel a little euphoric, but after 2 or 3 days I am stabilized again. In my case at least. I do not have schizophrenia but rather a mild psychosis. That’s why I can live normally. Even traveling by public transport, etc., without having to take the antipsychotic. The bad thing is that after about a year I have a psychotic break. But despite having had 5 psychotic breaks in these 10 years, my personality did not change.
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Hey @anon8411913 I don’t accept my diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia either n I’ve been put on another depo the joys of life eh xx
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Me three
151515
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I still don’t accept it … I don’t think I ever will.
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I feel that.
1515
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This is SO true. Well said. A diagnosis does not define you!
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When im experiencing positive symptoms, im more likely to accept it. But when i get periods of stability, im in denial. Its happened several times. I feel like i fake it or something. Its hard to deal with either way.
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