So after going through the process of changing my number so that he couldn’t contact me I have decided to send him a messaging saying I’ll be happy to sleep with him after I am in the right frame of mind.
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Sex is not dirty or disgusting. You just want to make sure that
- It is safe sex.
- You’re not in a situation where you’re more emotionally attached than the other person.
- You actually want to have the sex.
If you think it would be emotionally harmful, unsafe or you just don’t really want it, then don’t do it.
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You can always change your mind. You’ve been advised against this by your medical team for now. You should listen to them, they know the situation better than we do.
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I wouldn’t tell him that. He’s just gonna use that against you and try to manipulate you into the “right frame of mind” and be all guilt trippy.
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If you changed your phone number so he couldn’t contact you, why would you send him that message?
I know I never said I’d do it now. I told him I’ve bipolar. He knows. I told him I need a strong mind for this. We will not ask each other personal questions and if any of us get emotionally involved well go our separate ways
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I’m clearly not thinking. And tbh I want to have sex with him
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Don’t beat yourself up about it girl. Make sure it is really you who wants the sex. If he is your first, consider if this is the right person, if he is safe, and even if he isn’t your first, still consider if you want this.
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I know from personal experience that it doesn’t help to hate yourself. That will just make you more indecisive. Try not to do that.
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I agree with Sharp. I would definitely make sure he is the right one for you.
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I’m a little ignorant in this area. I would think the question - Is he safe? would mean - Is he safe for you , psychologically.
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You realy should… You need a bit of experience. Your unknowing is probably causing a lot of stress.
Be safe about it. Definitey use a condom and make sure the pckage isn’t torn and the condom aint dry… It’ll break… Defeating the purpose.
You could also look into birth control if its a regular thing…
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The actual sex act is not dirty or disgusting. But if you choose the wrong guy it could be dirty and disgusting.
Or am I stating the obvious, lol?
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@anon80629714 don’t think too hard on this one and follow your heart. if you are able to accept that this man may never contact you again after he’s “been your first” - I say go for it !
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@anon80629714, you deserve happiness and joy. Nothing wrong with pursuing perfectly natural inclinations so long as you do so with an eye towards your own health and safety. This does NOT make you a bad person.
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I live a very traditional life with liberal values. So this is a hard thing for me. But I know what I want. I dint see anything wrong in it but I love my family and I’m normally tell them everything. This is my first thing I’ll be hiding.
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Good luck,whatever decision you make just be happy with it,
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Why would you not want to get emotionally involved? And if you don’t want to get emotionally involved with him, then why would you be talking about having sex with him? Making love is extremely intimate, emotional, and enjoyable especially if you love each other, you’ve confided in each other, and you’ve committed to each other. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. You are special, and you are worth it. Making love is serious stuff. Don’t take it lightly.
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