One thing I learned for sure is that you can’t force anyone to love you
And when good person leaves and bad one doesn’t give a ■■■■ about what you think, because he knows you’ll always be there waiting for crumbs… .what does it say about me?
@anon23172327 honey, I think you’re overthinking this. The ones that are meant to be in your life, remain in your life. When people leave it’s a sign they didn’t really wanna stay anyway, so them leaving is also a good sign.
If you’re affraid of being alone, don’t be. I have to learn how to be alone to be able to be with other people, so alone is also a good thing from a bunch of perspectives.
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I do hope you’re kidding?!?
You’ve got a young child. LAST type of folk you want to hang around with!
Pixel.
Well. I don’t want you to be disgusted so I’ll say, yeah, it should be a joke.
Luka will leave me too when he grows old enough. He will run away and never look back.
Sorry. Had a bad night.
I am trying to be a good mother.
Which is mostly trying to not be like my mother.
You’re setting your sights too low, because you think that’s all you deserve and all you can manage. You don’t need to trick people into loving you, and you don’t need to keep tricking them to get them to stay.
Think of Luka: love isn’t the feeling that he’s precious and you want to protect him and give him the best you can. Love is acting on that feeling, and treating him and showing him he is precious, it’s protecting him and giving him the best you can. Without the action, the feeling is worthless. It’s selfish and self-indulgent. This is a really hard thing to learn.
If your boyfriend isn’t acting like he loves you, he doesn’t. He may feel it, but what good does that do you? If you aren’t acting like you love him, same thing: it’s fear and insecurity and need, not love. Practice loving him, see how it goes. More importantly, practice loving yourself, treating yourself like you matter. You will get better at it with practice.
And ask yourself if he’s someone worth the hard work of loving. If he isn’t, then find someone who deserves you and knows how to love you too.
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e(Y)e Feel That Way About Everyone e(Y)e Meet … ,
Altho e(Y)e Have Gotten To Tha Point Where e(Y)e Sorta Discovered That The Ones Who leave Are Tha Ones Who TAKE & TAKE & TAKE & TAKE & TAKE … ,
Lord Knows e(Y)e Tried To Be a Good Friend To Each and Everyone Who Left … ,
Tha Scury Thot About Those Who Discover Tha Light Within Thines Self … ,
Is That They Seen That Light In Tha Beginning and Once Again Lied Throo out All Tha Trials and Tribulations With An Intense Blackened Dark Of Devouring Your Peace … ,
and As They Left , They Dug a Knife In My Back As To Keep Tha Light Within , Tha Blackened , With Complete Misery and Fear … ,
It Took Some Very Tough Moments To Where e(Y)e Realized , When It Comes Down To It … ,
e(Y)e Don’t (and you don’t) Actually Need That Feeding Frenzy Of a Sick / Twisted / Organism Of Needle Threading Lies Of a Continuos Metaphorical Carcass Feed …
Which jus Means , You have To Embrace Tha Truth Of Yourself and Be Prepared For Some Lonely Evenings … ,
For Me It’s Been a Long Couple Of Years … ,
and To be Honest e(Y)e Don’t Even Care About thaz Shizz Anymore … ,
Tha Last Girl e(Y)e Met , Is For Me , At Thus Moment , Tha Last e(Y)e Will Ever Truly Love … ,
and From My Mountain View , Those Who have Felt That Vivid Carcass Feed , Would Never Do That To Anyone They Truly Love … and If The Loved Upon Are Honest , Then They Too Will Give Back , As You Give , and Such Is Where Nothing Is Taken , and Everything Is Given …,
All tha While , As NOTHING Is Lost …
I think the problem for us schizophrenics, is that we live our fears before they happen, let them leave, you will find the right person to hang out with.
we also live in the future and try to analyze any outcome of any situation which makes us left without any joy of momentum entertainment, we are always worried that the joy will subside and something else, mostly terrible will happen, but nothing happens, we only resume our lives back in normal mode.
Live your life, enjoy the company of your boyfriend while he is still here, have a lot of sex, have a lot of talks, have a scotch, chill and dont think too much about bloody future.
My salutations to you from Riyadh.
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Are you pregnant. If so. Let us know.
If people are better without you, then you are better off without them
I am sorry you are feeling so down. Crimby is right, you are really attractive and I think you would really be a “catch”. Maybe I don’t know everything about you. I worry about your heroin addiction. How is that going? Are you still using?
Why do you suspect/want to know that?
Learn to enjoy loneliness and you won’t be afraid. Sort of like the quote about not wanting to leave the room, makes you free without leaving.
I found it. It says, “The way out of a room is not through door. Just don’t want out, and you’re free.”
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One of her posts.
You know, there are another ways to tell person she is fat. 
Wow…I think I didn’t reach the level for understanding that one.
I know you all have a bigger problems …im getting to know what schizophrenia is and I can’t to anything else but remain respectively silent for everyone beating that thing.
So I’m also silently venting here.
Two persons walked away from me today.
One was my mother, the other was a friend i loved. Both of them couldn’t trust me. Both of them said clearly that I’m hard to deal with. Not the first time I hear it. And now I can feel it.
(And the sky is crying all day which doesn’t help)
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I truly sympathize with you, i can truly feel what you are going through. (i have experienced the same and thats why I know).
Be strong though. you have me as a company who has been through the exact same thing !!
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I’m sorry to hear that. I hope things get much better from here on out…
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