Oh, we just can’t make them stay. But I learned this… When they leave they aren’t worth to be around, if they stay you have to make it worth while.
I’m sure you can make it worth while, you have all the abilities.
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Being abandoned wasn’t the worst thing that happen to me,
it was when he came back.
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Who is ‘he’ if you don’t mind me asking
I think you might be exaggerating your fear of abandonment. If your boyfriend leaves you and there is no one immediately available keep your head up. That kind of independence can be attractive. You might get a better partner if you do this.
Do What Exactly (???)
Be independent - keep your head up even if someone has passed you up. That kind of independence can attract some guys.
Here sarad ,
From Me To You … ,
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He “was” my husband of 10 years at the time.
We stayed together for a total of 25 years.
Now he is “the ex” husband,
I moved on with my life, and with my current husband of 2 years.
Everything has a purpose I suppose, but that’s not true of everyone.
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Yeah, some things just have the ‘purpose’ to ruin your life…
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(private investigation / surveillance teams / stalkers)
True…
and so do many people.
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Be yourself, if they do not like you, let them go
or
if you love someone, set them free
No wonder I have not had any partner in the past 15 years. 
Your post reminds me of some lurking feelings I have quite often as well, a mood, perhaps, would be a better term than feeling, for it is in the background, and not so much directed at this or that. I often feel like I’m a tightrope walker, or, as we have the expression in my language, that I am walking on eggshells.
Things are going well as they are, I must admit, but in the background there is a sense that a single word I utter, a single corner I take, can bring down everything with it. This, to me, amounts to a confidence or trust issue. It makes me overthink some things, worries arise, doubts. Theoretical possibilities become magnified up to the point they are almost real actualities. Possible slips into plausible. This can be debilitating.
Although it is sometimes claimed, and then praised that MI patients do not take things for granted so easily, to me this can at times show up as a problem, rather than a virtue. I need to rely on many things, to be able to do the things I want to do smoothly. Worries or doubts about my capacities hinders me exercising them. Excessive worries about friends’ intentions will hinder the interaction. This is what stings most about such feelings, or such a mood, that they could become a selffulfilling prophecy.
It is difficult to build confidence such that those kind of worries do not arise, and one can again take for granted the friendship of another, for instance. I would love to find a switch one can pull, and regain such trust in others, and mainly oneself. But I am inclined to think that this is to take time.
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I think what you’re going through is called catastrophic thinking. A few of us here, including me suffer from it. I wish I had an answer to it.
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Yeah you might be right,.and it probably started four years ago when my ex left me with the baby. He firstly said that its OK, we gonna make it together…then when I was 4 months pregnant he ‘decided’ that the responsibility is too big and I should get abortion. Which was well, a bit too late, from physical and emotional side of my condition at that time.
Where was I?
Oh, catastrophic thinking. Ever since then, I watch for every sign of punishment, danger, abandonment. Sometimes I catch it on time, sometimes it is only in my head.
Interesting concept though. I should look for it.
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I have a fear that my parents will get tired of my illness and kick me out. There’s already some tension and I can feel it. The fear is real. I don’t want it to happen. It’s kind of selfish and a means of survival. I don’t strive or want close emotional bonds. Just a roof over my head and minimal conflict. But if it happens, we’ll see if I can survive. I’ll need to find a place to stay. Luckily I have a small but reliable income from the government that could provide me a shared room and food. Maybe I’ll be able to get food stamps. A lot of people have it worse off. The abandonment I fear would cause me to be worse off.
If it’s ‘limited’ to abandonment issues, then maybe some kind of talking therapy might help. I don’t blame you for feeling that way to be honest if you went through that. I wish I had a solution.
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I like that survival spirit!
My experience has been that trying to make people stay usually results in the opposite. I had to change myself. I had to change where I was meeting people (bars and nightclubs). I had to change the kind of people I was meeting (party heads, boozers, and users).
Pixel.
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Unfortunately, my concerns about one’ s intentions and hidden signs of leaving are increasing proportionally with person’s stability.
Somehow i secretly hope that ‘users and boozers’ are making it easier for begging, manipulating and holding back.