I’m so afraid that everyone will leave me. One by one.
Some people already did. They are just slowly walking away from me, leaving the hollowness behind.
I’m afraid that my boyfriend will leave me for someone else. He is in band and they got free girls at every step. And I think I would crush if that happens.
Probably I’m a bit anxious because I’m almost five hours alone.
I mean, what if everyone give up on me?
My psychiatrist, she says that I’m torturing myself with these thoughts. But it happened few times and will happen again.
Someone just gets tired of you. It happens.
You have had a lot of personal growth in the past few months. Whatever reasons people have had for leaving in the past, I highly doubt they would still be valid points now. You have worked to make yourself the kind of person other people want to be around. I know how hard that fear is to shake, though. I have the same thoughts all the time. Especially tonight. Ive lost so many good people, and I can never know for sure if or when it will happen again.
loneliness is a gift like the sun or the moon.
it forces us to sit and be…
it forces us to contemplate our existance our beingness.
if someone leaves our world …it is meant to happen.
you should not struggle against it , but be happy …for you and for them.
a person i know…was walking in a park …and saw before him a buddhist priest sitting quietly eating some rice.
he said of the priest that you could feel the contentment, flowing from him.
the priest was alone…but not alone…for he was all things .
take care
How to make ppl stay?
Hmm…
Try not to over-react to ppl’s actions. Both good and bad.
I think that is one piece of advice I can give you…
So try not to be over emotional about ppl’s leaving.
When it happens, think about it, but when it doesn’t happen yet, you don’t need to think about it.
Everyone will die someday, so everyone might leave you one day or YOU might leave them all one day so it’s just a waste of time thinking about ppl’s leaving you! Just try to enjoy the time with them now!
I’m sure an attractive girl like you would have no trouble finding somebody else if your present boyfriend left you. I agree with your pdoc. You’re playing self torture games. A lot of us do that, in some form or other. Try not to let your fears become self fulfilling prophecies. Don’t be dependent on somebody else. Be independent. Let your boyfriend know that if he left you it wouldn’t be hard for you to find someone else.
from my sith master
when we have a loss/death it hurts to the very core of our beingness…
every subsequent loss therefore hurts us as deep as the first one…
we feel abandoned…
we feel alone…
we feel completely unlovable…
but in all truth it is not so.
for when we learn to like and accept ourselves…when others walk away we still hurt , but we can actually wave them goodbye…and wish them well.
take care
You think people won’t stay because your parents taught you early on that you aren’t worth the trouble
What your parents taught you is ■■■■■■■■.
I can tell you a few things that I learned the hard way: because I never felt unconditionally loved by my parents, when I grew older and new people started to love me, the feeling was addictive. I got to the point where I would do almost anything to keep feeling that feeling, no matter how stupid and hurtful and self-destructive those things were.
Another thing: the things we do that we think will make someone stay are usually the things that drive them away the fastest. Trying to make them realize how much they love us by trying to make them jealous, trying to make them worry about us - these things are exhausting, both for us and for the person we’re trying to keep. And in the end, they always fail.
Another thing: I needed to learn not to be afraid of living without people before I could learn to live with them.
The biggest thing: there is nothing innately unlovable about me. There is no dark secret, no misshapen, repulsive center. I’m just a person, and just because I never got good lessons in slow, steady love, that doesn’t mean I can’t learn it. My mom had a book in her library that told me: Love is an action, not a feeling. That was a hard lesson to learn.
Sara, some other things you know and don’t believe: you are smart. You are funny. You are insightful. You are kind. You are beautiful. You are loving. You are strong. If this guy leaves, you will get through. You’re good company. You will meet other people. You might learn to ask whether a person is worthy of you and everything you have to give, rather trying to hide all the ways you think you aren’t worthy of him.
You have people who love you, Sara. We won’t let you be left all alone.
@rhubot, angel, I should print that post and have it on my wall.
Yes, parents. My mother doesn’t even call me anymore…unless I call her first.
I had a rough last night…was even vomiting for no physical reason . Show was over at about 1am, he was home at 3.30. @crimby that is so nice from you, but with my ‘pedigree’ things are a bit harder than most people think.
Its funny. All these medications, and still it can’t make you feel safe in your own skin.